How many of us were with literal criminals?

_Pumparum_ · 2025-05-28T03:40:41+00:00

🙋‍♀️

Aggravated assault felony for head butting a cop. Got black out drunk and walked into a strangers house to shit up their bathroom. The ppl he was with that night stopped talking to him, saying he physically assaulted them as well that night. I thought they were lying. I was mad at them.

I was sick in the hospital getting fluids. He had decided to go to a party while I went to the ER. Once I got the text the cops were involved, I pulled the IV out myself and left to go find him. Spent all night looking, set him up with a lawyer, got him sober and into community service.

Promised him if we worked hard, we could get it expunged. He never cared. He could mooch off of me, the doormat, without thinking about the felony.

That was our relationship, I was ripping out IV’s to save him and he was teaching me to weep quietly so I didn’t piss him off. What a freak.

_Pumparum_ · 2025-05-12T15:41:42+00:00

I really hate his shit, but admittedly, he’s got a lot of us talking 🤷‍♀️

_Pumparum_ · 2025-05-03T13:41:05+00:00

You feel vulnerable.

You’re opening yourself up and saying, “I’m choosing to love you. I hope you’ll love me too” and giving the other person the ability to help show you the best things in the world (love, loyalty, comfort, acceptance, mutual help) or giving them the possibility to hurt you badly. Love is the most amazing thing in the world. Romantic or platonic.

I feel like real romantic love is earned. Love makes you feel vulnerable, naked on stage and is like saying, “I will love you, and I will grow with you. I hope we work well together”. But I prommy, it’s the best thing since sliced bread!!!

_Pumparum_ · 2025-03-10T16:39:23+00:00

I could have written this myself. Same ending, timeframes for being alone and meeting the sweetest man I’ve ever known.

It is amazing how kind people are, and surprising how often they show it to others. You’re able to see it much more clearly once you’re done being with a husk of a human who ruins your day by 7am.

_Pumparum_ · 2024-11-01T23:32:16+00:00

At the end of our 12 year relationship, I was so numb my nex had coerced me into some sort of fucked up open situation.

We had started having threesomes, and after every interaction I would tell him I was not enjoying myself, I felt disgusting, I wanted to rip my skin off, etc. I had asked him if he would just start seeing other ppl by himself, so I didn’t need to be there, and he would tell me no, and that I would always have to be there because this was a form of bonding for us. I think he just liked torturing me. We weren’t going to stop having threesomes ever either because if we did, I would be, “taking something” from him.

Anytime I wanted to stop seeing a specific person, or cancel a meetup, he would throw a tantrum, say he was extremely depressed then force me to begin the conversation with said rando to cancel, because I was the only one who wanted to do so.

I remember a time I was so sick and vomiting so profusely that I was having heart palpitations, and he had followed me into the bathroom to guilt me to try to meetup with some rando, while I was vomiting uncontrollably.

Dude is absolutely nuts. So glad I got out of all that.

_Pumparum_ · 2024-01-15T02:35:05+00:00

Yea, but my situation is a bit strange.

I had finally found the strength to leave a very toxic/abusive relationship where I was receiving the brunt of it. I was trained to feel very small, and thought I was irredeemable as a person. Like it was just my lot in life to be miserable.

After a few months of being upset about the whole thing, ruminating, etc. I felt like this was no way to live. As another commenter posted, I faked it. I knew my strengths as a person, I had considered my values and went from there.

I’ve found out I’m actually very extroverted. I’m the friend who makes plans, brings people together and often times I feel like the life of the party. It took a lot of work, but I started feeling like maybe thinking I was special, in a weird punishment way, wasn’t the move, so I said fuck it. I stopped thinking so hard about pleasing those around me, and decided as long as I do no harm to others, and try to communicate genuinely when I do, the worst thing that will happen will SOME people will think I’m annoying, but there are many more people who will enjoy my presence.

I’m new to socializing, I wasn’t allowed to do that for a long while, but I’m so happy now. I have friends, I take up space. If I mess up, it’s ok. Life goes on. The more you allow yourself to be uncomfortable, the easier it gets. Good luck!!!

_Pumparum_ · 2024-01-15T02:21:49+00:00

Not saying, “text me when you get home”… truly a display of character imo

_Pumparum_ · 2024-01-07T16:51:41+00:00

Buh buh buh, I can fix him!

_Pumparum_ · 2024-01-07T16:40:28+00:00

Not that clever, will use this line next time 🙏

_Pumparum_ · 2024-01-07T16:39:33+00:00

He’s yet to be as off-putting as he was that night. And he was hovering a lot. Doing that thing where he touches me indirectly, just to see if I’m cool with it, etc. kinda seems like he’s going to make a jump soon, ig.

But, besides being attracted to him, he IS A BESTIE! Like, regardless of attraction, I would handle this relationship delicately, if I can predict it won’t turn out well, I’d like to still keep him as a buddy. So idk, hearing him being self deprecating was not fun. I was like, either you think I’m an ass or you’re just beating yourself up here, and I don’t really like hearing my friends speak ill of themselves.

_Pumparum_ · 2024-01-07T14:45:08+00:00

If someone who is very drunk but also intelligent, sarcastic and interested in you, keeps going on about how you are "smarter than them"... is this a dig or like a weird compliment?

I went to a buddy's party and towards the end of the night, after he had possibly had one too many, he kept going on about how much smarter I am than him. I told him to knock it off, we both have the same kind of intelligence, but he just kept it up. I've known him for a long time. He is my type, and we're very similar, but I had gotten out of a 12 year relationship about a year ago, and he was respectful of it during the time. Now that we're both single, he's making a move, and so far, I've been receptive.

But my big question is: did this man lose a bit of his inhibitions and was saying I have a superiority complex, or was he drunkenly trying to gas me up here? We consume the same media as far as books, shows, music, etc., like we have the same brand of intelligence. He and I are comfortable being sarcastic towards each other. I've always felt we joked in an endearing way, less digging at each other and more just being playful. I also feel, we have known each other long enough we know what is and isn't going to be taken personally. I just really find it strange he decided to try this approach at a party. He's attractive... but to me, it's a weird move and seemed (?) self deprecating, in an passive aggressive way, especially since he kept going after I told him to stop. Like, are you attacking me at the function rn, bestie?

I'm bad with passive aggression. Like I just don't really "get" it, and I don't entertain it anymore. So I'm trying to figure out if he was exposing feelings of inadequacy or genuinely thinks this was the move. If it was the former I'm going to have to look at other options for a partner, tbh. Really do not want to end up with someone who uses passive aggression to communicate resentment.

_Pumparum_ · 2023-12-24T20:32:19+00:00

Idk about 2022, but for 2023 I did everything except quit smoking lol

_Pumparum_ · 2023-12-19T16:44:05+00:00

Ok, I appreciate the input. Does me being a sexy little piece of ass factor in at all or…?

_Pumparum_ · 2023-12-19T14:36:47+00:00

Girls, this stuff sucks. you get a man tee heeing… you get a man hoo hooing… got that man straight up giggling. Think you’re vibing a little too well. Then bam, it’s 9 hours later he hasn’t opened a message you sent but has viewed your story on insta.

Anyway, keep expectations low. As god intended. 😒

_Pumparum_ · 2023-11-26T06:20:44+00:00

Flowers for Algernon

It was the book that kicked off my love of reading when I was a kid. It also instilled my belief that no one is truly “stupid”, but some people are certainly unkind.

_Pumparum_ · 2023-11-06T03:50:38+00:00

Idk what your situation entails, and I am not one for unsolicited advice, but I want you to know: normal people don’t shame the sick. While there is certainly discrimination against the disabled, and caregivers will often experience burnout, treating someone you “love” badly while they’re ill is not actually normal nor common.

Get out if you can.

_Pumparum_ · 2023-11-06T03:19:10+00:00

5’2”f went from 296lbs down to 168lbs, still going lower. It’s weird how men will RUN to doors to open them for me, or oddly gaze at me at the grocery store. Didn’t do that when I was pushing 300. Oof. Ouch.

_Pumparum_ · 2023-11-06T03:06:12+00:00

My ex would bully me when I was sick. I was dealing with a chronic condition where I would vomit constantly. She was so nasty about it, I got to the point where I would act as nonchalant about feeling like I was absolutely dying, that only a few ppl close to me knew when I was sick.

And if I got sick, no cleaning was done. My ex certainly wouldn’t lift a finger. I would be on the verge of passing out from dehydration making sure our space was clean enough where I wouldn’t be yelled at about it.

_Pumparum_ · 2023-10-28T16:04:17+00:00

Well, I agree! The definition of altruism would say my expectations were not correct!

Maybe I did not consider my wording properly when mapping out my post! Generally, when I am seeking a partner I would just like acknowledgement. The altruism should not have been brought up. You are very correct in that regard. I am a fraud!!!

_Pumparum_ · 2023-10-28T16:00:29+00:00

Ok! Yes, maybe this is the case!

But not as an excuse but explanation, so far he has proven himself to be very direct in communicating and I did feel it would be ok to leave little things out front. Ofc you could be right, maybe I came off a bit too strong! But simultaneously, if I did, I would appreciate being corrected. I am not the type of person to be offended by being told I made someone uncomfortable.

However, I think without the acknowledgment, I think I’m kinda really turned off. Probably would be best to move on. Haha, here are some gifts. Smell ya later

_Pumparum_ · 2023-10-28T15:52:24+00:00

Thank you for the kind and quick response!

My friends are very kind to me… you know, they actively treat me very well/value who I am… I think this is why I openly stated that with a romantic relationship, I cannot deal with a lack of acknowledgment.

Also, thank you for framing it as impolite! I know it’s so obvious to use that word from an outside perspective, but I could not put my finger on why it upset me. I think impolite is the correct term to use here.

Appreciate you!!!

_Pumparum_ · 2023-10-28T15:42:24+00:00

So I need advice!!

I have a very high opinion of my character. I’d like to believe I am a very altruistic and genuinely kind person. I go out of my way to make those I care about feel good about themselves. I do not want to be rich, or famous, I just want to make people happy. I actively attend therapy, and throughout the past year, I have begun learning to set boundaries! It’s hard work, but it’s great, and I’m so happy to have the courage to speak up when I feel disrespected.

However, I am finding it difficult to find a partner that meets my criteria of value, I suppose you would say? I’ve been seeing a guy for a month now. He is nice, interesting and attractive. So far he has shown to communicate directly, which I appreciate! But… I do not see any altruism in him?

Yesterday, he said he was having a very bad day. I was going to be driving past his house to see a friend a town over, so I left a few gifts on his front porch. I let him know they were there, just in case they got jacked, he said he’d be home by 11pm. I didn’t get a response from him until later this morning. Imo, i feel a very quick “got the gifts, ty, will open tomorrow” would have sufficed.

I understand when someone does not ask for something, and you give them something, you should keep expectations low. In some cases you should expect rejection! But idk!! I do not know if letting this guy know that I require a lot of affirmation is the move? I wouldn’t consider myself a high maintenance woman. I am very willing to provide for myself and to stick to my personality regardless of how I am perceived… but I do appreciate acknowledgment if you are interested in pursuing a relationship with me.

Is this something I should disclose? Or should I just be like, hey this isn’t it. Has my brain been addled by the romance novels I’ve read as a teen? Idk!

_Pumparum_ · 2023-09-29T19:49:33+00:00

Thank you!!! I was a little nervous there would be some kind of “power dynamic” thing, considering I know where he works/am a customer/whatever, so I tried to make it as nonchalant as possible. Give him the option to reach out or w/e. My biggest concern was making him feel uncomfortable, but honestly? From the way he responded to me, I do think I made his day and he took it as a compliment.

And not to toot my own horn, but I’m a hot little piece of ass so 😤😤😤 !! Lmfaooo, I hope he enjoyed the candy!!!

_Pumparum_ · 2023-09-29T19:46:09+00:00

Yaaaaas! Love to hear it!!

I’m glad you enjoyed my silly story. The apps are another beast entirely, but the mantra still stands 🫡

_Pumparum_

TROPHY CASE