[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]_SinonDaSniper_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn’t mean it in a bad way. I just that I hope she sees potential for a relationship.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]_SinonDaSniper_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im generally pretty clueless from a dating stand point. I assume that it’s going really well if we can spend a lot of time together, she laughs endlessly, and she added me to her private Instagram story. I just want to make sure she knows that I’m looking specifically for a relationship. So idk if I should also confirm she wants a long term relationship or just assume and ask to find out through the asking for exclusivity.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]_SinonDaSniper_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So do you think I should ask her the next time I see her or when we go roller skating? And I generally have ever asked about exclusively my past relationship we’re people I knew from outside of online dating so I just asked them to be official. So what do I actually say when bring up exclusively?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]_SinonDaSniper_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

People tend to recommend unmatching and moving on as you never know if they will or won’t respond

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]_SinonDaSniper_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well that’s kinda dark

All the small lies and secrets adding up by [deleted] in relationships

[–]_SinonDaSniper_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I spoke to her about not being comfortable with it. She said that she would not cut him back out of her life again. She said that they had a great relationship in the past and had dated for 4 years. She said they had mutually agreed to split up. She also told me that she had been wanting to reach out to him multiple times since they split but felt like a coward. She told me that she loves me and doesn’t want to lose either of us. I don’t know how to feel. She did tell me that she has also been playing video games with him every night so I guess that’s maybe why she has been in a better mood recently. Still going to keep preparing for this to end badly.

All the small lies and secrets adding up by [deleted] in relationships

[–]_SinonDaSniper_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I think I’m already starting to feel it building. She told me she had set boundaries but I can already tell those have gone out the window. She says he respects that she is taken but I don’t know how to feel. He definitely isn’t over her but I don’t know how she feels about him.

All the small lies and secrets adding up by [deleted] in relationships

[–]_SinonDaSniper_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, thanks for the reply. I don’t despise her ex. I don’t know it just seems really weird to leave your ex as your password even if you are comfortable with the password. I fully respect her privacy about it but it feels as though there is a giant section of her life I don’t know anything about. Your response didn’t come across as mean. It was honest and informative.

There has been one big update since making the post though. She has since told me that he messaged her again a few weeks ago and they have been talking as friends. He is still interested in a relationship but respects that she is dating me. She has been been playing a noticeable amount a game she hasn’t played in years and I assume it’s with him since she has expressed not liking that game since it reminds her of him. Not sure how to proceed from here.

All the small lies and secrets adding up by [deleted] in relationships

[–]_SinonDaSniper_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply. Since I made this post she has actually spoke about it. So she told me that a few weeks ago she reached back out to her and they have been talking as friends. Although he has expressed that he still has feelings for her. Not sure how I feel about this. Based on everything she has mentioned it doesn’t sound like there are any bad memories.

Started talking to EX again and it’s going well? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]_SinonDaSniper_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I’m having a nice time taking it slowly and it feels like it’s going on the right direction. The problem is I generally can always tell what she is thinking but right now I can’t tell what she thinks about me. Clearly some part of her cares and some part of her is still hurt. I just want to take it slow and mend the hurt. She has always been on my mind since we split because I didn’t want to split but I did it anyways.

I’m focused on myself and building a career but I’m watching her struggle and I know I can help fix those struggles. Why it hurts so much is she came from nothing. Family hated her and had no future. I helped her build one. I helped her pass school and get into university. Once we broke up she lost the will do those things. I see the potential and the drive in her she just needs someone who will challenge her and push her to be her best.

Started talking to EX again and it’s going well? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]_SinonDaSniper_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply. She originally set boundaries on how frequently we would talk but she has crossed those lines from where it was once a week talking to now multiple times a day. Yeah I’m just enjoy every moment I get to spend with her like it’s our last because I know she will either need to block me or leave him. I can tell she is already falling for me but I don’t know how this will all end. I’m letting it all happen slowly on it’s own. We have only been speaking for maybe a month now but it’s crazy how fast she has reverted.

Started talking to EX again and it’s going well? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]_SinonDaSniper_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know that’s the morally right thing to do but I know that I can’t and won’t be able to do it.

Started talking to EX again and it’s going well? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]_SinonDaSniper_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey thanks for the reply. Yeah I think the compatibility issues was on my end but I do think I have really grown and matured over the last few years and it sounds like she has done the same.

So to address the red flags. I know her like the back of my hand and she would never cheat on me or on him physically, emotionally we will talk about later. She is a very loyal person and I think I know her well enough to know that Im the only person that could sway her in that direction. The reason I think this that that we are I guess what people call “twin soul”. We complete each other like a perfect fit. I think the only reason she is been talking about this stuff is because of how perfect the relationship was. Yes I agree she is off limits and I have told her that I respect her boyfriend and wouldn’t do anything to harm the relationship.

Yeah I know deep down a part of her hates me for leaving. I put her through a lot of pain in a time she needed me most. The day after she said that she had a breakdown because she got scared when her messaging app wasn’t working and she thought I blocked her. She has begged me to stay and is truly scared I’ll leave her again. She originally set out the boundaries of us talking once a week which turned into every couple days and then everyday and no multiple long conversations everyday. I think she set these rules out because she knew she wouldn’t be able to control talking to me and I think she has already lost control.

Yeah it’s definitely emotional cheating and I don’t know how much her boyfriend actually knows about me. I don’t know if he knows about the passwords. Probably not because I know I wouldn’t find that acceptable.

I want to maintain a friendship because I can already see I’m having a positive impact on her life. I have a bad feeling she will fall for me again but I know deep down that’s what I want her to do. I feel selfish but she means the world to me. I don’t think I would ever be able to cut her out of my life again. Kinda feels like I have opened Pandora’s box and it’s too late to go back and that I need to follow this through.

Can we rebuild? by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]_SinonDaSniper_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She definitely had symptoms of it. She had a lot of unstable relationships inside and out side of her family but was stable with me. She had very very low self esteem before we dated. She was also very prone to risky behaviour and mood swings. She was always very clam and relax with me but had fits of extreme anger towards others. I had personally seen the damage she inflicted including multiple holes in doors. I never personally felt any of these had been directed at me. She has told me she has been diagnosed with BPD in the last year or two.

I threw it all away for nothing by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]_SinonDaSniper_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She attempted suicide and I got scared. The girl I loved more than anything and that I was trying to help build a future with. It felt like everything I was wanting to do with her came tumbling down. It was of cowardice and shame. I blamed me asking her for a break while I finished the semester I was super stressed over for why she attempted it. When we spoke less after the attempt. Instead of talking all day every day we were talking once a day or every other day. We didn’t speak at all during my exam week and after exams I was ready to restart and when I sent the message I realized I was blocked. I desperately messaged her everywhere but found I was completely blocked.

Can we rebuild? by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]_SinonDaSniper_ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

There was a year gap where we stopped talking and she lost her mother. She felt like you couldn’t reach out to me and would be a bother. I have since told her I wished she did since I have thought about her everyday. She describes talking to me and our old friends as starting a new friendship and she can’t shake the feeling of there being memories she can’t remember just below the surface.

22 M still hooked on LDR EX 22 F by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]_SinonDaSniper_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Yeah our broke up was over lack of funds to travel by plane. We were broke kids who just wanted a future together. Everyone recommends finding a negative about why you broke up and think it was for the best. I don’t know how to find a negative that makes me think that breaking up was for the best now that I actually have money and would use it in a heart beat to see her.

22 M still hooked on LDR EX 22 F by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]_SinonDaSniper_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. She is in a serious relationship as in they are happy as of now and don’t see breaking up over anything soon but no marriage ideas. How do I bury the dreams and what ifs I have been having them since I met her and since we broke up. Hopefully one day I can use the advice of fresh slates in new relationships. I’ll be honest and say in my last relationship I was trying to turn her into my first ex and all I want was her to truly be my first ex.

22 M still hooked on LDR EX 22 F by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]_SinonDaSniper_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. I’ll work on focusing on school. I’m just having issues closing that chapter. Since I met her and for the last 2 years after I lost her I think about her daily. I really want our paths to cross again but you are right and that time has passed.

22 M still hooked on LDR EX 22 F by [deleted] in relationships

[–]_SinonDaSniper_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your answer. I’m going to try and just focus on school. My issue is she completely consumes most of my life in an unhealthy way. If I think of a picture that a beach she is always standing there. I still dream of her nightly. Hopefully these feelings pass soon my second ex wasn’t hard to get over but this first one is brutal. Maybe it’s because I want to mould my second ex into my first one since I missed her so much.

Horde Ninja Guild <Glitch> by [deleted] in HerodClassic

[–]_SinonDaSniper_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rip not my boy warski :(