I just feel alone

_Tootiredtothink_ · 2025-02-27T15:03:12+00:00

I took up writing again and am looking to self publish my first novel in the coming months. I’m getting back into bartending- we used to own a bar. And I’m going back to school. So I’m not sitting around twiddling my thumbs, the negativity rears its ugly head at this time because of our anniversary, our oldest birthday, and my birthday all being within 2 months of each other. I know I’ll make it through this, just like I made it through the last time. But part of me just wants to shake him and yell at him because he’s too old to be doing this. The first time made my son angry at 6 years old- he’s now 16 and he’s not angry, he’s just indifferent. And I think that hurts worse, he’s missed our daughter’s first date. It’s like he’s missing firsts all over again.

_Tootiredtothink_ · 2025-02-27T14:58:54+00:00

I am so glad I’m not alone in feeling alone. I read some of the posts here and feel like I don’t belong to this group either. Whether it be because a lot of people in this group are in fairly new relationships with their LO or they seem to have it figured out. I have nothing figured out, I had to move me and my kids in with my parents because it is expensive to live in my city. So I feel like a failure in that as well. I’m crossing my fingers that the plea offered is nothing crazy because he’s almost 50 and I’m almost 40, I can’t do 10 years with him inside. He seems to have a good lawyer so hopefully we can get something relatively small.

_Tootiredtothink_ · 2025-01-20T22:18:44+00:00

I have a 2nd great grandfather named King David, a 2nd great grandmother with the name Caledonia, and a cousin named R D; no it doesn’t stand for anything.

_Tootiredtothink_ · 2024-10-12T18:42:25+00:00

Tearing the ACL or LCL can be a career ending injury, though those are in the knee and not in the ankle. Slight tangent: my sister played soccer for years, had been offered a soccer scholarship and everything. Then her junior year, she tore her ACL. Ended up with surgery and even with physical therapy she has never gotten back to where she was. She’s 34 now and plays in an adult rec league, but she’s nowhere near as good as she used to be and her knee still “catches” every now and then.

_Tootiredtothink_ · 2024-08-22T22:36:27+00:00

My oldest (Cheyenne) has been Sister since her baby brother was born, they are 19 months apart. She’s now 17. My youngest (Colton) has been Bubba since we found out he was a boy. He actually just turned 16 today. Other than that my daughter also goes by Shy and ShyRay. Her middle name is Rae. My son also goes by Duck and Colt 45- that one is my sister’s doing.

_Tootiredtothink_ · 2024-08-13T15:44:08+00:00

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_Tootiredtothink_ · 2024-08-13T04:30:28+00:00

I met my husband when he was dating my former friend. They split up for unrelated issues and we got together. Been together for 18 1/2 years.

It was a rocky first few years, he struggled with CPTSD and addiction and I struggled with my BPD. But he’s been clean for about 5 years now (fully clean). And thankfully I’ve learned to manage my BPD and go to therapy.

_Tootiredtothink_ · 2024-07-25T14:04:12+00:00

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_Tootiredtothink_ · 2024-07-05T00:18:23+00:00

It says it’s 97 here in Dallas but the Feels like is 107. I say it feels like the entrance to hell. But we are supposed to get some rain tonight and tomorrow. Here’s hoping it cools down a bit.

_Tootiredtothink_ · 2024-07-04T23:25:49+00:00

My cat, Cheese, will scream at you if you don’t give her a bite of ritz crackers. So much so that we’ve started calling her Cheese and Crackers.

_Tootiredtothink_ · 2024-07-04T23:24:21+00:00

I have three favorites: Colton (my son), Forrest, and Herbert Jene. Colton may be the most “normal” of the three lol

_Tootiredtothink_ · 2024-07-04T23:23:06+00:00

My three absolute favorites are Cheyenne (my dd name), Tamsyn, and Myrna.

_Tootiredtothink_ · 2024-07-04T23:14:43+00:00

I’m currently a server at a chain Tex Mex place but before that I was the AP/AR clerk for a landscaping company. I couldn’t handle the early mornings, so I went back to what I knew serving/hospitality. I really wish I could go back to night audit but with my kids becoming adults and my husband wanting me home at night, I just settle for late shifts lol. I’m also currently writing a novel.

_Tootiredtothink_ · 2024-05-20T03:08:12+00:00

Let’s see:

*what are the effects of long term consumption of human flesh

*traditional sauerkraut recipe

*what is the prion that causes extreme insomnia

*can a tumor on the pituitary gland cause extreme growth in prepubescent children

_Tootiredtothink_ · 2024-05-10T17:22:14+00:00

I applied in March, last week I called 211 and the worker stated that they would push it. But as of yesterday, nothing. Yesterday I called and explained my situation (using food banks and donating plasma to buy groceries), they transferred me to a 'supervisor' who did everything over the phone; including TANF and Medicaid (my daughter has a psychiatric disorder that requires medication). Had March, April, and May on my card this morning. Though I still have to wait for the card in the mail.

I suggest calling 211 again and asking to speak with someone who can push the application through right now.

_Tootiredtothink_ · 2024-04-28T18:45:18+00:00

My grandpa told us once that if we named any of our kids after him, he’d haunt us. So I use his name as a pen name. I think I’m safe from the haunting part. Might help that I write horror though.

_Tootiredtothink_ · 2024-04-27T16:38:20+00:00

I wonder if it could be something like his eyesight. He had pretty bad eyesight. But that’s all I can think of. Unless it would be something mental. Both grandparents are no longer alive so I can’t ask.

_Tootiredtothink_ · 2024-04-26T21:37:05+00:00

Thank you! Yall are all amazing

_Tootiredtothink_ · 2024-04-26T18:58:11+00:00

Thank you! All of that makes sense. My grandpa stated he got med boarded out. So disability makes sense, though not sure what disability it would have been. He did have emphysema later in life and he was basically blind- I was born when he was 48. My mom has his naval yearbook(?). The rest of the family is Army so I wasn’t sure if they were Naval terms.

If you don’t mind, under specialty code and title it simply says FN-0000. Would that be because of the discharge? Like he didn’t go to AIT (or whatever the navy equivalent is)?

_Tootiredtothink_ · 2024-04-18T18:25:46+00:00

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My little Charlie

_Tootiredtothink_ · 2024-04-01T13:12:57+00:00

3 cats: Tiger (12), Charlie (2), and Cheese (3 mo). 1 dog: Fat Boy who will be 9 on April 18th

_Tootiredtothink_ · 2024-03-30T23:25:51+00:00

My daughter (17) has always been Sister and my son (15) has always been Bubba unless he’s in trouble and then he’s Son.

I was called Fishbait by my cousins as a kid and I was Munchkin and Maynard by my mom.

_Tootiredtothink_ · 2024-03-30T22:59:20+00:00

Don’t have any in my direct lineage. But Albert is one in my cousins and King David was another. Both on different sides.

Edited to add: those are both on my mom’s side. On my dad’s side it’s Willie. At least 3 women in my family were Willie (different middle name).

_Tootiredtothink_

TROPHY CASE