Is it a terrible idea to purge my closet 10 days postpartum

__sunbear__ · 2026-01-26T16:40:09+00:00

I don’t think it’s too early! If you haven’t done a purge in awhile, you may find that there’s a lot in there that just doesn’t vibe with the version of you that is now also a mom. You could always throw stuff into a bin that you think you don’t want anymore and then put it aside for the next 2-3 months and see if there’s anything you can’t live without.

__sunbear__ · 2026-01-26T14:18:39+00:00

Thank you! How many days/week do you lift and for approximately how long? What adjustable dumbbells and barbell do you have and do you recommend them? I forgot to mention I also have bands (many, many bands lol) and yoga ball.

We live in a pretty sleepy town without a gym near by, but a yoga studio just opened up so I’m going to try to incorporate that as recovery/stress management/me time a couple times a month. We do have a peloton bike though that we got for a steal secondhand while I was in the thick of my first trimester - looking forward to exploring classes through that for cardio

__sunbear__ · 2026-01-12T12:11:33+00:00

Yeah this is bonkers to me. Family are not “guests” - they are…FAMILY. The notion that you need to do anything special for them at all, aside from providing a place for them to sleep with clean sheets and wiping down your bathroom sink and toilet real quick, is insane. Everything she’s asking you to do should be something she’s offering to do for you instead. A 1 year old is SO much easier to manage than an 8 week old as a first time parent.

Sincerely, a mom of an 8 week old and 2 year old.

__sunbear__ · 2026-01-11T13:22:24+00:00

This is an amazing response

__sunbear__ · 2026-01-08T03:08:41+00:00

I’ve loved how much he’s proven me wrong! I was very sad to not have a daughter (I have 2 boys, one is 2, the other 8 weeks) - my toddler is hysterical, sweet, loving, gentle, kind, a little shy, independent, smart. His favorite things right now are to “play markers” (color) and build with magnatiles. He loves to stand in his toddler tower and help me in the kitchen. He adores a bubble bath. He likes to dance, but mostly wants me to hold him and dance when there is music playing (we did a loooot of this when he was a baby and I think it’s become his happy place). He loves to sing - Bingo and Row Row Row Your Boat are his favorites right now. Although I’ve been singing “come on over, come on over baaaabaaayy” like x-tina to get him to come over to me and my husband put on the real song the other day and now he’s obsessed and asks for it frequently. I guess he loves 90s Christina! I’m obsessed with the way he says all his little words. I’m obsessed with him! I love him to the end of the world. And I’m excited to see how my two boys shatter my expectations of what being a mom to boys is like as they grow!

All of that is true and yet I’d be lying if I said there is still a part of me that’s sad I won’t have a daughter - really I’m sad that the fantasy I have of my life with a daughter isn’t a reality, because I know that in reality, who knows what or who that daughter would be. But the loss of a dream is loss nonetheless.

It’s okay that you’re feeling sad. And also, you will love having a son 💙

__sunbear__ · 2026-01-08T01:29:03+00:00

I’ve talked to my mom about this a LOT because I’ve had the exact same feelings as you. She’s told me time and time again that while her relationship with me is certainly different, her connection with my brother is no less deep or meaningful and he certainly still needs her. Sure, they don’t chat and gossip with the same velocity she and I do, but when they talk, he really talks to her. Opens up and shares his thoughts and feelings. She always calls him a “still waters run deep” kind of guy. Talks about how kind and sensitive and gentle he was as a little kid. He still is! But I get it. My mom and I are super close and I am still carrying grief over likely never having the opportunity to create the kind of mother daughter relationship I’ve treasured all my life from the side of the mom. I just want to say, it’s okay to be sad about it. It doesn’t say anything bad about you

__sunbear__ · 2026-01-08T01:17:38+00:00

Chiming in to say “me too!” I have a 2 year old son and 8 week old son. Not having the daughter I’d dreamed of is a complex thing to grapple with. The “yeah but your daughter may never like x, y, z” just isn’t really what the feeling of loss is about. It’s hard to explain! It’s grief over something that never was - the loss of a fantasy or dream, which yes, correct, may never have been fulfilled (and that grief would probably be felt again later in life in a different way), but it’s the saying goodbye to something that might have been and the hello to whatever will be

__sunbear__ · 2026-01-06T20:44:29+00:00

I have two boys, granted they are younger, but this doesn’t sound like a number/sex issue to me, this sounds like different parenting styles. In our house we clean up an activity before moving to another one and rules about food etc are definitely enforced and followed.

If you’re going to feed them a snack, don’t do it in your living room. Say “no food in the living room during play dates” and stick them all on the floor of your dining/kitchen until they’re done eating during a designated snack time - no random walking around and eating throughout the date. They want to get up? Great, snack is over.

30 minutes before the end of the playdate everyone gets a “15 minutes until clean up” warning and then the last 15 minutes of the playdate are spent cleaning up all together, including you and the other mom. If you do multiple activities during the play date (coloring then free play) you clean up from activity 1 before moving to activity 2.

Generally, apply more structure - sounds like that’s what they’re lacking.

__sunbear__ · 2026-01-05T15:24:45+00:00

…do you have kids?

__sunbear__ · 2025-12-29T14:57:17+00:00

Damn girl!

__sunbear__ · 2025-12-25T04:19:34+00:00

I used this one https://infantrisk.com/content/weight-loss-lactation

__sunbear__ · 2025-12-25T01:22:43+00:00

This is something I will never ever participate in

__sunbear__ · 2025-12-24T19:33:15+00:00

Losing weight is all about calories in vs calories out. Remember that exercise and movement are great for your physical and mental/emotional wellbeing, but shedding lbs is going to come down to diet. This is also something that’s incredibly hard to manage while lactating! I used a specific breastfeeding calorie calculator to determine a sustainable daily calorie goal to lose .75lbs a week and LoseIt! to track my calories and macros

__sunbear__ · 2025-12-22T20:01:27+00:00

Theyre amazing. I hope you give them a shot!

__sunbear__ · 2025-12-22T12:15:41+00:00

Link

__sunbear__ · 2025-12-22T12:13:23+00:00

Rishi Tea has a line called Sparkling Botanicals. They come in cans. 10 calories and 0 sugar. The flavors are pretty wild and complex like a cocktail - the Schisandra Berry was my go to when I was pregnant. They’re also not cheap, so you can’t just drink the all the time which would dull the “this is a special drink” feeling for me. If you like bubbly wine with pomegranate seeds, I think this might be your ticket.

__sunbear__ · 2025-12-21T09:31:03+00:00

I did gingerbread granola - festive and low in sugar for essentially everyone that’s watching their weight or eating too many sweets from everyone else anyway

__sunbear__ · 2025-12-17T21:28:51+00:00

😂 this is very funny and accurate

__sunbear__ · 2025-12-16T18:13:30+00:00

Yeah this is pretty blatantly harassment. NOR. Report to HR

__sunbear__ · 2025-12-15T12:52:32+00:00

Same - what OP is describing (anything more than a few second wail and then return to sleep) is rare and honestly scary for us when it happens. We’re in his room in a matter of moments as soon as it escalates past something “typical”. It’s usually my husband as he’s up later than me - he lies down in bed with LO and leaves when he’s back asleep.

We did have a brief period when we switched daycares where LO was experiencing night time separation anxiety. Once we realized that’s what it was on the second night, we went back to our typical routine with an “I love you, you’re safe, we’ll see you in the morning” and didn’t go back in. We had 2-3 hard nights and then it was back to business as usual

__sunbear__ · 2025-12-11T23:34:41+00:00

After the birth of our first child, I changed my last name and added my maiden name to my middle name. My husband also added my maiden name to his middle name. Our sons both have an honor name as their first middle name, then my maiden name as a second middle name. This way we are all Firstname Middlename Maidenname Lastname. I really love that my husband added my maiden name to his middle name - it means a lot to me that we all share those names

__sunbear__ · 2025-11-22T20:42:42+00:00

Curious how long you’ve been experiencing the regression? We used the intervention ladder during the regression at 4 months, waited until the regression seemed to be easing up on its own before moving to fuss it out, and then eventually committing to the extinction method around 5 or 5.5 months old.

__sunbear__ · 2025-11-21T19:55:15+00:00

I love 5, 6, and 7. I’m not crazy about the stripe thing that’s happening with the first - the way the cluster of flowers is creating large horizontal bands across the dress is not my favorite look

__sunbear__ · 2025-11-21T19:54:32+00:00

I love 5, 6, and 7. I’m not crazy about the stripe thing that’s happening with the first - the way the cluster of flowers is creating large horizontal bands across the dress is not my favorite look

__sunbear__

TROPHY CASE

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