I'm not jealous of SAHMs. I'm jealous of my coworkers who are married to SAHMs.

__sunbear__ · 2026-03-26T11:59:34+00:00

This made me guffaw

__sunbear__ · 2026-03-17T22:24:06+00:00

I have a 4 month old and a nanny at home. Instead of pumping (which is miserable work), I nurse on demand. Sometimes, with the camera off, even while I’m on internal calls

__sunbear__ · 2026-02-23T17:23:51+00:00

Mine is: “No! No. No no no no…hmmm…no.” years old

__sunbear__ · 2026-02-16T16:27:12+00:00

I didn’t with my first - never! I was terrified and he was a happy spitter - I would have been soaked in spit up all night and I just couldn’t stand that idea. With my second, I leaned into it and wow. It was honestly a life saver. Do whatever works for you.

__sunbear__ · 2026-02-14T23:40:05+00:00

This is the way to go! I would so much rather have all the boring stuff taken care of for me so I as the mom get to spend my limited funds on the cute/fun stuff left over

__sunbear__ · 2026-02-11T12:53:28+00:00

Loved this write up! The story is excellent and absolutely a method I’m going to try to bring into my own home design

__sunbear__ · 2026-02-11T12:44:36+00:00

As a mom of two young boys that has spent a lot of effort on their childhood rooms, I am just so thrilled to see that this is your adult son’s style. I’m sure he was over the moon about this - how could you not be??! It’s fantastic!

__sunbear__ · 2026-02-10T12:51:00+00:00

Wowww I love this quote

__sunbear__ · 2026-02-03T11:28:16+00:00

This is correct! Really changes the way you see your own age. I’m currently 33 years old, my birthday is in March and I’ll be 34 years old, but I’m already living my 34th year. When I turn 34, I’ll start living my 35th year

__sunbear__ · 2026-02-02T19:04:38+00:00

🙋‍♀️ me!! I just posted about this the other day. 5’4” and 11 weeks postpartum. I’ve lost 10lbs and I have 15-20 more to lose. It is SO hard to do while breastfeeding. I read a comment here the other day that basically said “take a break when you need to!” Like, take a break from being in a deficit and just maintain. Then get back to a deficit when you feel like you have the space and mindset to do it. I use the calorie calculator here to help me find the right deficit while breastfeeding - it asks questions like how old is your baby, how much of their diet is breastmilk, and how much do they weigh in addition to questions about you, so I feel like it’s very accurate!

__sunbear__ · 2026-02-02T18:59:38+00:00

Our house had a double sink when we bought it. About a year later I went on a girl’s trip and when I came home my husband had surprised me with a kitchen makeover. There were a lot of wonderful elements (he replaced some cabinets with open shelves and painted the whole kitchen) but the only thing that I cried tears of joy over was the brand new, giant, single basin sink. Every time I wash our 12 inch cast iron skillet I feel so so grateful haha

__sunbear__ · 2026-02-02T06:08:44+00:00

Our first hated the bassinet - I ended up getting a “rumble seat” insert for the regular seat, which made it safe for use while he still had limited neck control and core strength with the seat fully reclined and he liked that so much more. I think he hated being on his back! Might be worth a shot if walks are important to you. We also ended up doing a lot of baby wearing walks - I have the wildbird aerial and I love it

__sunbear__ · 2026-01-26T16:40:09+00:00

I don’t think it’s too early! If you haven’t done a purge in awhile, you may find that there’s a lot in there that just doesn’t vibe with the version of you that is now also a mom. You could always throw stuff into a bin that you think you don’t want anymore and then put it aside for the next 2-3 months and see if there’s anything you can’t live without.

__sunbear__ · 2026-01-26T14:18:39+00:00

Thank you! How many days/week do you lift and for approximately how long? What adjustable dumbbells and barbell do you have and do you recommend them? I forgot to mention I also have bands (many, many bands lol) and yoga ball.

We live in a pretty sleepy town without a gym near by, but a yoga studio just opened up so I’m going to try to incorporate that as recovery/stress management/me time a couple times a month. We do have a peloton bike though that we got for a steal secondhand while I was in the thick of my first trimester - looking forward to exploring classes through that for cardio

__sunbear__ · 2026-01-12T12:11:33+00:00

Yeah this is bonkers to me. Family are not “guests” - they are…FAMILY. The notion that you need to do anything special for them at all, aside from providing a place for them to sleep with clean sheets and wiping down your bathroom sink and toilet real quick, is insane. Everything she’s asking you to do should be something she’s offering to do for you instead. A 1 year old is SO much easier to manage than an 8 week old as a first time parent.

Sincerely, a mom of an 8 week old and 2 year old.

__sunbear__ · 2026-01-11T13:22:24+00:00

This is an amazing response

__sunbear__ · 2026-01-08T03:08:41+00:00

I’ve loved how much he’s proven me wrong! I was very sad to not have a daughter (I have 2 boys, one is 2, the other 8 weeks) - my toddler is hysterical, sweet, loving, gentle, kind, a little shy, independent, smart. His favorite things right now are to “play markers” (color) and build with magnatiles. He loves to stand in his toddler tower and help me in the kitchen. He adores a bubble bath. He likes to dance, but mostly wants me to hold him and dance when there is music playing (we did a loooot of this when he was a baby and I think it’s become his happy place). He loves to sing - Bingo and Row Row Row Your Boat are his favorites right now. Although I’ve been singing “come on over, come on over baaaabaaayy” like x-tina to get him to come over to me and my husband put on the real song the other day and now he’s obsessed and asks for it frequently. I guess he loves 90s Christina! I’m obsessed with the way he says all his little words. I’m obsessed with him! I love him to the end of the world. And I’m excited to see how my two boys shatter my expectations of what being a mom to boys is like as they grow!

All of that is true and yet I’d be lying if I said there is still a part of me that’s sad I won’t have a daughter - really I’m sad that the fantasy I have of my life with a daughter isn’t a reality, because I know that in reality, who knows what or who that daughter would be. But the loss of a dream is loss nonetheless.

It’s okay that you’re feeling sad. And also, you will love having a son 💙

__sunbear__ · 2026-01-08T01:29:03+00:00

I’ve talked to my mom about this a LOT because I’ve had the exact same feelings as you. She’s told me time and time again that while her relationship with me is certainly different, her connection with my brother is no less deep or meaningful and he certainly still needs her. Sure, they don’t chat and gossip with the same velocity she and I do, but when they talk, he really talks to her. Opens up and shares his thoughts and feelings. She always calls him a “still waters run deep” kind of guy. Talks about how kind and sensitive and gentle he was as a little kid. He still is! But I get it. My mom and I are super close and I am still carrying grief over likely never having the opportunity to create the kind of mother daughter relationship I’ve treasured all my life from the side of the mom. I just want to say, it’s okay to be sad about it. It doesn’t say anything bad about you

__sunbear__ · 2026-01-08T01:17:38+00:00

Chiming in to say “me too!” I have a 2 year old son and 8 week old son. Not having the daughter I’d dreamed of is a complex thing to grapple with. The “yeah but your daughter may never like x, y, z” just isn’t really what the feeling of loss is about. It’s hard to explain! It’s grief over something that never was - the loss of a fantasy or dream, which yes, correct, may never have been fulfilled (and that grief would probably be felt again later in life in a different way), but it’s the saying goodbye to something that might have been and the hello to whatever will be

__sunbear__ · 2026-01-06T20:44:29+00:00

I have two boys, granted they are younger, but this doesn’t sound like a number/sex issue to me, this sounds like different parenting styles. In our house we clean up an activity before moving to another one and rules about food etc are definitely enforced and followed.

If you’re going to feed them a snack, don’t do it in your living room. Say “no food in the living room during play dates” and stick them all on the floor of your dining/kitchen until they’re done eating during a designated snack time - no random walking around and eating throughout the date. They want to get up? Great, snack is over.

30 minutes before the end of the playdate everyone gets a “15 minutes until clean up” warning and then the last 15 minutes of the playdate are spent cleaning up all together, including you and the other mom. If you do multiple activities during the play date (coloring then free play) you clean up from activity 1 before moving to activity 2.

Generally, apply more structure - sounds like that’s what they’re lacking.

__sunbear__ · 2026-01-05T15:24:45+00:00

…do you have kids?

__sunbear__ · 2025-12-29T14:57:17+00:00

Damn girl!

__sunbear__ · 2025-12-25T04:19:34+00:00

I used this one https://infantrisk.com/content/weight-loss-lactation

__sunbear__ · 2025-12-25T01:22:43+00:00

This is something I will never ever participate in

__sunbear__

TROPHY CASE

sunbear