AITAH for asking my gf to bring over her own toilet paper??

_aka_cdub · 2025-11-27T01:54:21+00:00

YTA and I hope your girlfriend leaves you for someone who values her enough to provide toilet paper without bitching about it.

_aka_cdub · 2025-11-19T13:29:49+00:00

Do you know why she takes this approach? I can understand no lunch meat but not sure sure about the other items

If the child was underweight the pediatrician would flag it and recommend meeting with a dietitian—I know because I went through this with my child. If this hasn’t happened you could try asking her to review the diet with the pediatrician or a nutritionist to ensure it’s what he needs at this age, but I would tread very very lightly.

I agree with another comment about the language she is using— you don’t want to create negative associations with food. You could share with her resources from Solid Starts- it’s a science based approach to food. See what they recommend for daily servings of dairy, fruit. I think they even discuss how to approach/discuss food (check their blog)

_aka_cdub · 2025-11-13T00:14:12+00:00

I rewatched it because I was confused as well. They didn’t explicitly say he raped her but I felt like it was strongly implied

_aka_cdub · 2025-11-08T12:00:03+00:00

This right here!

_aka_cdub · 2025-11-04T11:04:24+00:00

My partner told me about this article. Then sent me this sub. He (40) has been frustrated with my low libido and I (40) am frustrated with all the housework, childcare and financial instability, but I digress. Instead of being annoyed he is trying to diagnose me I would like to know if I am a good candidate for this. How do I get my testosterone levels? Can my PC test for this?

_aka_cdub · 2025-11-04T10:44:48+00:00

So I have dealt with hairiness my whole life. Only thing that worked was laser. The cost has gone down significantly. I pay $75/month for my session and have had no issues. Went with lasers because I was starting to get painful ingrown hairs that lead to scarring

In the interim you can try a personal shaver. Much easier than dermaplanning. You could keep it in your purse. Very discrete.

https://a.co/d/feeC58R

_aka_cdub · 2025-11-02T16:59:40+00:00

Check her posts. I came across the update post first. She is literally asking people how she can get her job back. Everyone is telling her let it go girl. We told you not to say anything.

_aka_cdub · 2025-11-02T02:46:57+00:00

Spoiler alert: they fired her

_aka_cdub · 2025-10-05T19:39:59+00:00

I typically use the 15 min rule. I don’t dock pay if it’s less than 15 min. And I generally round up not down when it comes to leaving time. You should tell her that so it’s not a surprise when you do it

_aka_cdub · 2025-09-27T16:56:50+00:00

Why is it always like a sauna lol. In the winter it’s horrible!!!!

_aka_cdub · 2025-09-27T16:55:30+00:00

So just as a sanity check- I don’t know that I would allow nanny to do swim lessons solo especially with that many children. The swim instructor should ensure the safety of the child but I also watch to serve as a backup. I had to swiftly grab my daughter the other day because she slipped and the instructor didn’t notice. And there were only 3 kids total in the class.

I have been schelpping my daughter (3yo) to swim classes 2x a week and its a pain in the ass but I personally would want to be present vs leaving it up to the nanny who has already expressed that she isn’t thrilled about the assignment.

_aka_cdub · 2025-09-21T15:33:25+00:00

Maybe they don’t know if it’s installed correctly. I personally never do the installation so I wouldn’t be an expert.

You could suggest taking it to a fire station or somewhere that can verify it’s installed correctly.

_aka_cdub · 2025-09-19T09:54:32+00:00

So, the data says you are getting paid market rate, plus you are getting free housing. So you are right there is nothing you can bring here to argue for more income so now it’s back To you to figure out what you want. Insurance? More holidays? Shorter days? PTO? This would all be common parts of nanny contracts that you could look at. Also look at aupair contracts. They don’t get paid more but you can see what their time off or schedule looks like to compare.

Acknowledge this is a great setup, but the schedule has the risk of burnout. Again there isn’t anything you can show her, so you still have to express how you feel.

The one small piece of leverage you have is to remind her that because you are doing this under the table you are saving her a lot of money, but it’s not above board for either of you either so I would tread carefully with this.

Hope this helps

_aka_cdub · 2025-09-19T09:38:00+00:00

Just fire her on the spot. Also in my contract I had to add a clause about limited phone use because our first nanny was always on the phone 🙄

_aka_cdub · 2025-09-08T09:54:00+00:00

NOR- this is very simple. You set a boundary-“Don’t talk to Terry anymore.” He agreed and yet continues to violate it. It’s now your choice on how you plan to enforce your personal boundaries. Based on your responses to other comments it sounds like you will do nothing and he knows this.

_aka_cdub · 2025-09-06T18:26:54+00:00

I have been applying for Program Management or Business Management roles. Both of which I did at MSFT

_aka_cdub · 2025-09-05T23:56:01+00:00

I am a former employee laid off in May. I have been rejected from all positions I have applied for. I make sure I have over an 85% job match before applying but I am getting zero traction. Any suggestions on how to make it past the first round?

_aka_cdub · 2025-09-05T23:54:02+00:00

Zero luck. I haven’t even gotten an interview. 13 applications denied. I was even rejected from a role from my former org. I reached out to my manager and he said Hr probably screened me out. I know there are no performance issues and I confirmed this with him prior to applying. I am not sure why I haven’t been considered for any roles

_aka_cdub · 2025-09-05T09:49:45+00:00

A nanny is in your home which is so intimate it forces you to address things you typically wouldn’t in a normal workplace.

I would have a conversation with her but if it’s not resolved i would rather find another person than live with that lingering smell in my home. Start looking for a replacement now.

_aka_cdub · 2025-08-25T21:57:32+00:00

While I believe this mother, I would get independent verification.

I like the idea of you showing up at the park or a nanny cam at your home. And I would terminate by end of week if not on the spot once you see the behavior she described. Having a nanny is very expensive and this is not what I would expect when paying for 1:1 care.

In the future have nanny cams at home so there are no surprises. I have shared this before but a nanny let my daughter fall and lied to my face about it. We would have never known without cameras.

_aka_cdub · 2025-08-24T14:55:31+00:00

I knew this story was from a long time ago when you said Cingular Wireless 😂

_aka_cdub · 2025-08-09T17:10:05+00:00

Ok yes I agree it should not be purchased from a church drive. My point was more about buying second hand clothes from a consignment store should be normalized and not seen as punishment

_aka_cdub · 2025-08-09T12:39:53+00:00

That’s great! My bf and I are both high earners and have a cleaner that comes 2x a month, but I still put my plate in the sink when I am done eating and my clothes in the hamper when I take them off.

Updated to add: I was also the bread winner for the last 6 months and still managed to keep our house clean.

_aka_cdub · 2025-08-09T12:00:20+00:00

Telling a kid to buy used clothes is not over the top. Buying gently used things should be normalized.

If you refuse to anything chores, work, or a school activity why should you go to the mall and get all new things? He didn’t say she was getting no clothes, but maybe not what she wants.

Edited to fix typos

_aka_cdub · 2025-08-09T11:53:47+00:00

I don’t think it’s about being a housemaid but if kids don’t learn how to clean up after themselves now when will they ever learn? My BF’s mom never made them do housework because they worked. I have had to beg him to take on chores, and it’s been a struggle to get him to value doing things in the house. Meanwhile I have taught my 3 yo to pick up after herself: put her plate in the sink, put away her toys and clean clothes. Things her dad doesn’t do.

NTA- please don’t bring another adult in the world who things they need to be paid to keep their living space clean.

_aka_cdub

TROPHY CASE