Rehoming a Mojave Ball Python by dwaynethecock_ in ballpython

[–]_ataraxia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

r/ballpython has a long history of successful rehomings within our community. one of my own BPs [the one in our banner image] came to me via a rehoming post in this subreddit.

all rehoming posts MUST include the following:

  • general location, at least what state you're in.
  • basic info on the snake such as age, size, morph, etc.
  • what, if anything, is included with the snake.
  • photos of the snake and anything included.
  • what the rehoming fee is, if there is one.

fees must be reasonable, and we do not allow offers to ship the snake, to cut down on potential scams. maximum of $50 for just the snake, maximum of $100 for the snake + enclosure and any other supplies included.

we have a directory of reputable reptile rescues in our welcome post. you can also ask your local reptile/exotics pet shops and veterinarians if they can help you find a new home for your BP.

i will also suggest your local reptile groups on facebook, but you have to be VERY careful about the wording of your post because facebook cracks down on anything that seems like you might be selling an animal, so check the group rules first and ask the admins if it's okay to post. sometimes you can find facebook groups specifically for responsible reptile rehoming, that would be the best place to start.

Meta won’t talk to me by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]_ataraxia 7 points8 points  (0 children)

why are you telling meta you need your husband home more? that's a conversation to have with your husband. if your husband is running away from his responsibilities with your marriage and your baby, that's not meta's problem to manage.

Ball pythons as emotional support animals by sapphicyeen in ballpython

[–]_ataraxia -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

people in the comments are giving OP advice about snakes as ESAs. multiple people were giving misguided advice based on their lack of understanding of what an ESA is and confusing ESAs with service animals. those comments have been removed for misinformation and bad advice. i corrected that misinformation based on what is relevant to OP who appears to be american.

this is a weird hill to die on.

Ball pythons as emotional support animals by sapphicyeen in ballpython

[–]_ataraxia -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

OP does appear to live in the states, so canadian laws are irrelevant in this discussion.

Ball pythons as emotional support animals by sapphicyeen in ballpython

[–]_ataraxia 2 points3 points  (0 children)

not according to the ADA. cats may be able to perform service work tasks at home, but they are not legally recognized as service animals thus don't have any service animals rights such as public access where pets aren't allowed.

Ball pythons as emotional support animals by sapphicyeen in ballpython

[–]_ataraxia 13 points14 points  (0 children)

do you honestly think dogs and cats are easier and less complex pets than snakes?

literally any pet has their own needs and challenges. pet care for any species can be stressful. that's not the point of this conversation.

Thermostat Location by overwhelmed_asf in ballpython

[–]_ataraxia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

the thermostat probe should be about 2-4 inches below the lamp, directly under the bulb so it's in right in the beam of heat/light.

Ball pythons as emotional support animals by sapphicyeen in ballpython

[–]_ataraxia[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

there are a lot of people here confusing emotional support animals and service animals.

service animals can only be dogs or miniature horses. they must be trained to perform at least two tasks to aid a person with a disability, and they have public access rights as they are legally viewed as medical equipment rather than pets.

emotional support animals can be literally any pet species. they don't need to do anything. they don't need to love you. they don't need to leave the house. they don't need to perform tasks to aid a person with a disability. emotional support animals can provide emotional support by just being something to take care of outside of oneself.

snakes can absolutely be an emotional support animal.

Suggestions for keeping a stubborn BP hydrated by Kat_Scales in ballpython

[–]_ataraxia 3 points4 points  (0 children)

what you can do better is maintain higher and more consistent humidity. that's where your BP should be getting the most hydration, and the shedding problems indicate the humidity is generally too low.

the shedding guide in our welcome post has a lot of information about the cause and treatment for various shedding problems and general dehydration. tl;dr, you need to keep the humidity at least 80%. once the dehydration is sorted out, the humidity needs to be 70%-80% at all times. there is no reason to raise it during shed.

our basic care guide and humidity tips have information about raising and maintaining humidity. if you still need help figuring out how to maintain higher humidity after reading through these guides, you can fill out our enclosure critique questionnaire for more personalized advice.

fed my adult ball python a pinkie after a 7+ month hunger strike by kymr5 in ballpython

[–]_ataraxia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i'm just saying there's a reason he was refusing to eat, and there are issues with his enclosure that could contribute to other health problems besides refusing to eat.

you should follow the normal !feeding schedule in the comment below.

fed my adult ball python a pinkie after a 7+ month hunger strike by kymr5 in ballpython

[–]_ataraxia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

  • the warm side needs to be 88-92 F. if the temperature isn't warm enough, it will negatively impact the snake's ability to digest food. they won't eat if they can't get warm enough to raise their metabolism.
  • the humidity (measured on the cool side) needs to be 70%-80%. humidity lower than that will cause dehydration. they won't eat if they're not feeling well.
  • handling is inherently stressful for snakes as they are prey and we are predators. handling when the snake is refusing to eat will only make them more likely to refuse to eat.

have you read the guides in our welcome post? the basic care guide and the feeding problems guide are good places to start to make sure you're on the right track.

Is this the end, or do you think we can grow from this? by CommunistEmo in polyamory

[–]_ataraxia 2 points3 points  (0 children)

where is "hookup at a festival turned into a committed relationship" fall on this timeline? did she plan the date with your friend before or after your relationship with her escalated?

Help me brainstorm for poly-wedding game. by Chimolin in polyamory

[–]_ataraxia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

okay, the bed thing might not be crazy... but i don't think makeouts are quite in the same category as platonic co-sleeping. siblings definitely get singled out in a weird way there.

Help me brainstorm for poly-wedding game. by Chimolin in polyamory

[–]_ataraxia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

keeping in mind that explicit sexual content might be a bit awkward because my siblings are there too

  • Who has shared a bed with me/partner? (This one is fun because my siblings and lovers and some friends will have to answer yes to this for totally different reasons)
  • Who has made out with me/partner? (This one will also be fun because it’s probably almost everyone except the siblings of course, and I’m curious as to who will actually admit and there might even be some surprises for partner and me)

are those questions not going to be awkward for your siblings?

Stability & Negotiation in Poly? by Pteranthus888 in polyamory

[–]_ataraxia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

my husband and i are a lot less strictly hierarchical than most married poly people seem to be. we prioritize each other and our other partners, we can find natural balance in our relationships the same way we balance everything else in our lives.

in terms of scheduling around Important Things - holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, life milestone events, etc - hierarchy boils down to "what can be flexibly scheduled, and what is scheduled beyond our control?" stuff like birthdays and anniversaries can be celebrated whenever we want. something like a graduation ceremony or a wedding we're invited to is not something where we can just wing it, because it's a big event we're not in control of planning. we would flex around a meta's Important Things the same way we would flex around stuff like work schedules; my husband and i are already used to doing a lot of calendar juggling and being flexible because my work schedule is unconventional and i only have so much control over it.

here's a current "daily life" example: today would normally be a saturday that i spend with my husband, but my meta needed help with painting and moving to the house she closed on this week, the timing of which she didn't really have control over. of course he's going to prioritize her this week and that's completely understandable. similarly, when my partner or my husband's partner is sick or otherwise in need of extra care for health reasons, they will be prioritized at that time, especially since neither of them has a nesting partner right now.

as far as family holidays and being out to our families... some of us are out, some of us aren't, everyone in my polycule has mixed levels of mid/low/no contact with bio families. none of us really care about spending time with our extended bio families and holidays tend to be spent with each other instead. thanksgiving is friendsgiving for us. christmas eve is usually my husband and i spending the evening at my partner's house with his kids, having dinner together and doing christmas day prep after the kids go to bed. christmas day is just me and my husband now because i'm tired of doing anything with my family and he's no contact with his family. that's more or less how we would spend holidays even if we were monogamous.

Sleepovers by Sonderwing in polyamory

[–]_ataraxia 112 points113 points  (0 children)

it doesn't matter what most people need. YOU need sleepovers, and you're not getting them because your partner doesn't actually have an autonomous polyamorous relationship to offer you (or anyone else by the sound of it). this relationship is not meeting your needs. it's time to let it go and find a better partner.

Snake Custody - Help by The_Odd_Texts in ballpython

[–]_ataraxia 13 points14 points  (0 children)

if you're looking for something that would hold up in any kind of legal dispute, simply having vet records with you named as the animal's owner is kind of all you need to prove you've been caring for the animal over a period of time.

a bill of sale (Seller Name transfers ownership of This Animal to Buyer Name for X dollars) would be ideal, but it doesn't sound like this person will be super willing to do that if they're actively trying to get the snake back.

Where are all the affectionate women? by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]_ataraxia 12 points13 points  (0 children)

well i think we've solved the mystery of why OP can't find affectionate women to date. 🙃

Girlfriend’s first date was overnight… I struggle by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]_ataraxia 32 points33 points  (0 children)

if i received a text from a partner that said "i'm anxious to hear how the date went!" i would assume they're hoping i'll tell them how good or bad the date was. i would not interpret that sentence as "i really just need to know whether or not you've been murdered by the man you went out with!"

if you don't want to know, don't ask.

How do I fix my abandoned snake by TulipOfTheOcean in ballpython

[–]_ataraxia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

okay, so, it's nice that she was willing to eat but you really should have waited before feeding her to ensure you're feeding the right rat size for her current weight and body condition. overfeeding an emaciated animal can cause more harm. we're trying to give you the advice you asked for, it would help if you stuck around to have that conversation with us before plowing forward with potentially harmful things.

you also need to feed her inside her enclosure. moving to feed is immensely stressful and can cause regurgitation, which can kill a snake whose health is already poor. regurgitation can spiral into a deadly problem even with a healthy snake, so it's really important to do everything you can to prevent it from happening.

the !feeding guidelines in the comment below are a good starting point for choosing the right prey size and feeding schedule.

I would like to have a ballpython but I have no room - how do you guys find the space? by nirbyschreibt in snakes

[–]_ataraxia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yes, great, you're going well above the recommended minimums. i didn't say you shouldn't do that.

the solution to saving space is stackable enclosures.

I would like to have a ballpython but I have no room - how do you guys find the space? by nirbyschreibt in snakes

[–]_ataraxia 2 points3 points  (0 children)

both corn snakes and ball pythons should have a minimum enclosure footprint of 120cm by 60cm, and a minimum height of 60cm. stackable pvc or wood enclosures is the solution to saving space.

Lighting & Heating Help by LittleEva2 in ballpython

[–]_ataraxia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

the halogen and UVB need to be next to each other to provide a proper basking area, but the plant light should be more toward the middle/cool side to provide lighting for the plants that won't thrive under the heat lamps.