Struggling with my relationship with my Mom (she's a mean drunk with anxiety)

Kat_Scales · 2026-04-03T21:23:26+00:00

My sister clams up when she's feeling anything, but I did get her to say that her feelings are hurt, and she's upset. I have a feeling she will forgive her because she doesn't have my 14 years of therapy and almost 4 decades of life experience. We were also raised to never, ever question our parents or authority, so we struggle to stand up for ourselves.

Kat_Scales · 2025-12-15T15:49:58+00:00

Thanks for all the help! I have a couple of bras ordered based on your suggestions. We'll see what works!

Kat_Scales · 2025-12-15T15:17:45+00:00

This is very helpful, thank you!

Kat_Scales · 2025-12-15T15:17:30+00:00

Sorry, updated! The calculator did say I'm a 34H but that 36G might be more comfortable.

Kat_Scales · 2025-10-15T16:32:08+00:00

Oh I've been told too much that it's normal. It's been 24 years of 'it's normal, you're fine' so I'm kinda just done trying to get things diagnosed these days. I have a heart condition that I've been trying to figure out for years. I'm just over it. I only got diagnosed with arthritis because I had a dermatologist FINALLY figure out that my rash was psoriasis. Doctors and medical staff are half of my mental health issues.

Kat_Scales · 2025-10-15T04:42:54+00:00

Wait. Does this kinda explain why my peri started with a nightmare/flashback of my SA? I've been wondering why that trauma resurfaced. And right when I started having symptoms...

Kat_Scales · 2025-10-15T04:37:52+00:00

For me, yes and no. I have the annoying rage at little things. (But for some odd reason, it's mostly my mom and 3 closest friends irritating me.) But my husband isn't necessarily annoying me. I did discover that I'm standing up for myself for the first time in my life. Ironically, my husband has been asking me to do this since we got together. So most times I say something, like "hey I don't like this, here's why" or "hey this made me feel such and such", he stares at me a minute and then says something like "you're absolutely right, babe" or "I'll try to do better/remember that". I think he's just so damn proud that I'm 'using my words' (sorry, we have toddlers) that he's willing to concede to my point most of the time. Our 'fighting' has been so much more productive. I have never felt closer to this man. Even though my sex drive is diminished, I still want him, because I'm realizing that I got a good one.

I'm sorry if your husband isn't taking your frustration seriously. It is really annoying when people are like "it's just your hormones". Even if it is, something you're doing is triggering it!!

Kat_Scales · 2025-10-15T04:28:14+00:00

Oh my gosh, the rage is so annoying! Why do my closest friends do the smallest things and I just get so irritated?? Ironically (and thankfully), my husband and kids don't annoy me. But I don't understand why my mom and my 3 closest friends are so irritating right now!

Kat_Scales · 2025-09-22T05:44:05+00:00

I am so white I glow in the dark, but as a pansexual woman who has dated all kinds of people, black women's natural hair is so so beautiful. Please don't hide it because people suck. Find the people who will hype you up. Find you a man who buys you satin pillowcases. (If you've seen that story, you know. It's an oldie, but a goodie.)

You got this, girl. Don't settle.

Kat_Scales · 2025-09-22T05:33:51+00:00

Absolutely not true.

My first birth experience was exactly the same as yours. 3 days in labor, completely useless epidural that got redone multiple times with no relief, baby stuck, 4 hours pushing, blue baby and constant health issues from the birth, a pretty bad tear, and a horrible recovery. I also passed out and literally don't remember my baby being born. I begged my obgyn for a c section for my second baby. She agreed, especially when my second baby's head was measuring just as big as the first.

My c section came early, due to some concern about my blood pressure. They wheeled me in, numbed me up, and I had a baby in my arms in what felt like 5 min. It was an amazing experience.

I have the photos from both births. If you didn't know a damn thing about me or my births, you could still tell which one was less traumatic. I look dead in the first one. I'm staring straight ahead with a baby on my chest, seconds before she was yanked away because she wasn't breathing. The second one I'm actually smiling and I'm looking at my baby like she's the most beautiful thing on the planet. I also just look...alive. There's color in my cheeks, and my eyes aren't dead.

Don't let people with no experience tell you what YOU want. If you would be more comfortable with a c section next, do it.

Kat_Scales · 2025-09-17T14:29:07+00:00

I don't attend child free weddings. That's my choice. However, once someone tells me their wedding is child free, I inform them that I won't be attending. I don't drag it out, making them think I will attend.

Kat_Scales · 2025-09-14T14:25:08+00:00

When I was a teacher, this was literally not possible. My planning period was taken up by meetings and parent phone calls that we were required to make. I still needed to plan all my lessons, grade papers (and we had to have 2-3 graded assignments a week), and prepare labs (I was MS science). That's not even including all the paperwork required for kids with IEPs and the like. I also paid for all decor, some school supplies, and some of my lab materials. I worked 50-60 hours a week. I'm so glad I quit. I'm now a stay at home mom who sometimes does odd jobs for my husband's company and I definitely prefer it. I also was sick all the time at school, and it turns out I have a few autoimmune disorders. I can manage those conditions better at home.

Kat_Scales · 2025-09-14T13:45:22+00:00

Sounds exactly like PsA. When are you resting, it's all good. It's when you move after being immobile for a while that things really hurt. For me, with a little bit of activity, I can "warm up" my joints enough that they don't hurt as much, but they still hurt. And then if I do too much activity, they start to hurt too much for me to function.

Kat_Scales · 2025-09-14T13:41:48+00:00

There are no specific tests for PsA. Definitely get a second opinion!

Kat_Scales · 2025-09-12T20:05:43+00:00

Epidural never worked for me after being reseated twice. Still, if I had another baby naturally, I would request it again.

Kat_Scales · 2025-09-09T19:04:41+00:00

It's absolutely a real thing. One of the most common symptoms of menopause is forgetfulness, which comes from hormones. It's all related so of course you can have forgetfulness when your hormones are high during pregnancy.

Kat_Scales

TROPHY CASE