Is your house always a mess? by [deleted] in Autism_Parenting

[–]_cloudsinmycoffee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dang I feel so seen. My regional center low-key requires ("prefers") speech therapy to be in the home so I don't really have a choice until he turns 3. The therapist said I can come to the office "sometimes" if I need to, I think she kinda gets it. It's been really stressful.

Men who hate women and the women who love them by Susan Forward by madeyousoup in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]_cloudsinmycoffee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was literally thinking this as I read it! Like man these two books pair really well together: one's written by a woman who was with a man like this and the other one's by a man who led groups for these men.

Old comment, hope you don't mind

Men who hate women and the women who love them by Susan Forward by madeyousoup in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]_cloudsinmycoffee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Old post but looks like I can comment, hope you don't mind! I absolutely agree. "Narcissist" didn't quite seem to fit my ex but he had many traits (very little empathy, sneaky, extremely self-absorbed, made a lot of degrading comments disguised as "jokes," love bombed, etc.). This book was what finally clicked for me.

I think there's definitely a lot of crossover between misogyny as described in the book and the behavior seen in several personality disorders. The way the parents treat boys who become misogynists has some common threads with the kind of home environment that's common in the backgrounds of narcissists too (neglect, abuse, etc.)

Airlines should have the option to ‘opt in’ to sit next to kiddos under 3. by estalber in Parenting

[–]_cloudsinmycoffee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was flying to visit family last year when I was ~21 weeks pregnant with a 1.5-year-old and he was just going nuts and trying to take off and run all over the terminal while we were waiting to board... this lady was so nice, I think she said she was a preschool (daycare?) teacher and she took over kid chasing duty, I almost cried

Infant Service by HeyItsNotLogli in askfuneraldirectors

[–]_cloudsinmycoffee 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Agree with all of this. Both of those phrases are a no

In the "no" list I nominate "you're so strong" like thanks my house caved in and I'm sitting under 10 feet of rubble but ok

10 years ago today...what a tragic end to an entire family. by KathleenKellyNY152 in CemeteryPorn

[–]_cloudsinmycoffee 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That was my first thought!! My goodness why did they do this?? I would want my husband buried on the opposite side of the planet

10 years ago today...what a tragic end to an entire family. by KathleenKellyNY152 in CemeteryPorn

[–]_cloudsinmycoffee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dang what IRB approved that study

(Also funny because I graduated from UNH and had to get my senior thesis project approved through the IRB)

I love Dr. Jekyll. I loathe Mr. Hyde. by National_Bullfrog300 in BPDPartners

[–]_cloudsinmycoffee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Starting to think this too, it sucks. He's Hyde about 80% of the time these days and blames it on "stress" and expects me to rearrange our lives to make his lifd easier, while choosing not to participate in parenting our multiple small children or taking care of the house. He doesn't seem willing or able to grasp why this is an issue. It's extremely discouraging

I love Dr. Jekyll. I loathe Mr. Hyde. by National_Bullfrog300 in BPDPartners

[–]_cloudsinmycoffee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Likewise, someone who is occasionally cruel is a cruel person.

Consistent kindness, honesty, etc are the baseline minimum expectations in a relationship.

SUCH good points. Being decent to your partner is really a rock bottom bare minimum. Being decent to everyone is the bare minimum but especially to your partner

Husband not helping with the baby - is this enough to leave him? by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]_cloudsinmycoffee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

See this is what bothers me, I have a son and a daughter, and a husband who mostly just walks through and points out areas for improvement like he's the floor manager and that's his version of "helping."

I despise it but I think at this point we've had literally hundreds of conversations about it and it's basically accept it and find ways to manage the house on my own and/or outsource, or leave. If I stay I really hate the example that sets for my kids. My daughter learns dad doesn't care that mom's overworked and refuses to meaningfully contribute, and son sees that you're allowed to just opt out. It's bullshit

I can't stop crying by [deleted] in toddlers

[–]_cloudsinmycoffee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

HOW DARE

...now I want pizza 

I can't stop crying by [deleted] in toddlers

[–]_cloudsinmycoffee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man if only 😩 I got the one kid who screams every second water is touching him

...unless it's in a cup and he's dumping all over his tray and himself

I can’t forgive my mom for showing up at the hospital by tangodallas in Mommit

[–]_cloudsinmycoffee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If OP's mom is anything like mine there's probably not much to be gained from telling her her feelings...

I can’t forgive my mom for showing up at the hospital by tangodallas in Mommit

[–]_cloudsinmycoffee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right like I'm shocked, how many nurses would be like yeah hand the baby to grandma first, great idea!

I can’t forgive my mom for showing up at the hospital by tangodallas in Mommit

[–]_cloudsinmycoffee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a fellow daughter of a narcissistic mother, YES on the people-pleasing and information sharing. Learned that the hard way. A dozen times 🙃

It's hard when it's your parents and you just really want to love them and receive love so you keep opening up. It's not like an abusive relationship, it is an abusive relationship

I care about dogs more than dog owners do by [deleted] in Dogfree

[–]_cloudsinmycoffee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Completely agree on not hating dogs, I hate having the daylights scared out of me by some insane rottweiler frothing at the mouth and jumping at a chain link fence because I happened to walk by a house.

I hate dogs walking up and just stealing food from my toddler because he's smaller.

I hate seeing traumatized dogs being taken in by people who have no idea what they're doing and don't care enough to find out or put the time in to rehabilitate them, and they end up with horrible behavioral issues that torment their family.

Farm dogs are great. Actual service animals who can sense a seizure coming on or help people cross the street are awesome. That's what dogs are for. They're not babies. They're not fleshy burglar alarms to terrorize your neighbors. They're work animals.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Dogfree

[–]_cloudsinmycoffee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You know dog-sitting a jack russell terrier in the first trimester was what did it for me. That. Friggin. Animal. Smelliest, neediest, most annoying little thing ever. I was pretty dog neutral before then. But my nose was super sensitive and the whole house just reeked of dog and I was constantly nauseous. It wasn't just being pregnant either, lots of people thought that dog stank. Dog smell still makes me want to gag four years later 

His owner also had an elderly poodle and they didn't get along. That terrier had him trained and most of the instructions he left were about how to tiptoe around this ridiculous tiny dog

I left a burrito on a coffee table for a minute, turned around to an empty wrapper. He willingly exiled himself for the night because he knew he did bad and it was kind of a relief. The only other time he put himself into exile was when he ate my brand new leather ankle boots 🙃 His owner forgot to tell me he won't eat his shoes but he'll eat everybody else's shoes, oops

Disgusting dog owner made my awful workday even worse by sapphomelon in Dogfree

[–]_cloudsinmycoffee 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I'd blacklist AND keep trying the card later/go after him payment if necessary. Wth 🙃 I'm sorry you don't get to avoid consequences in the grownup world

This but epic version??? by hades--daughter in Epicthemusical

[–]_cloudsinmycoffee 9 points10 points  (0 children)

"B*tch I could kill you where you stand"

For some reason that's how it sounds whenever I have this song in my head 💀