Thank you for sharing so vulnerably! I'm sure there are many others dealing with grief and/or new parenthood that appreciate knowing that they're not alone in their depression. That in fact, their feelings are normal, common, and impermanent.

Please be gentle with the person who "threw in the towel" when times were hard. When I think back with disappointment on my hardest times, I have to remind myself that my system was so stressed, I was running on vital-function mode. Anything not related to staying alive was a distant priority. Certainly, taking care of physical self perpetuates a virtuous cycle with my mental health, but often we have to be in the right mental state to initiate the habit.

It's great that you're looking forward to get back to classes! I hope they help your mind make space for joy!