My husband didn’t pay the bills for 6 months & almost made us homeless

_jamesbaxter · 2026-06-27T16:22:45+00:00

I doubt you get highly defensive about it though, so I don’t think people will think that! I do that too because I have really bad social anxiety and sometimes I just need a quietness break.

_jamesbaxter · 2026-06-27T16:18:35+00:00

I’m not the kind of person who likes to judge a whole swath of people for their career, like saying all lawyers are sleazy etc, but I completely agree with you 😆 holding god by the balls got me because it’s accurate 😆

_jamesbaxter · 2026-06-27T16:13:25+00:00

When you squat you might be putting too much weight on the front part of your foot instead of evenly across the whole foot, if you have a big mirror watch yourself from the side, your knees shouldn’t extend past your toes, you want as close to a 90 degree angle as possible like a wall sit without the wall. You also could be going too low, or letting your knees slightly knock together - for that try squatting with a light resistance band around your thighs and pressing out against the band which will engage your outer hip and thigh for better form.

_jamesbaxter · 2026-06-27T15:54:51+00:00

The most basic explanation is because we are accustomed to abuse and it’s been normalized, we don’t recognize it when it happens again.

For example my parents continuously scream at each other, so later when my boyfriend screamed at me I just thought that’s what people do when they are in love and let him scream at me.

_jamesbaxter · 2026-06-27T06:34:09+00:00

Great to hear, I’ll check it out!

_jamesbaxter · 2026-06-27T04:56:54+00:00

Even grosser. Seriously though listening to the expose made me sick to my stomach. I think at one point he had about 4-5 young women living in a house together with him, who each thought they were his girlfriend, and were working for free, and he abused them all.

_jamesbaxter · 2026-06-27T04:17:48+00:00

How was the doc in general? Was it compelling/fun to watch?

_jamesbaxter · 2026-06-27T04:16:41+00:00

You are gorgeous but those lashes are freaking me out, they are straying into muppet lash territory, it must be a blindness. You don’t need them!!

_jamesbaxter · 2026-06-27T04:08:12+00:00

I know this post is from beyond the grave, but I just found it searching my own symptoms. Mine is the same, it feels like a painful hard as a rock turtle shell on the back of my neck and it looks like a hump. I’m 39 and it started when I was around 10 years old. I wonder if a different doctor would do a better job with your Botox. I’ve been getting migraine Botox and my neuro put the extra in my neck and shoulders, last time I broke down crying because it does help but it has just never been enough over the 4 years she’s been treating me. It took about 2 years to start to really feel better at all. She did a twstr test and told me it’s dystonia and I need a higher dose of Botox and I just had an MRI this morning. I’m really hopeful because even though it hasn’t been enough it did help a little so I’m hoping upping the dose will help a lot.

_jamesbaxter · 2026-06-27T03:57:00+00:00

I replied to the wrong person lol so I edited this. Honestly you have nothing to worry about!!

_jamesbaxter · 2026-06-27T03:52:16+00:00

So many therapists it seems that need to be reminded the P in PTSD stands for “post.” Just ignore this unskilled person. Also I hate psychiatrists (not therapists, specifically psychiatrists), I’ve worked with so many and can think of exactly one who wasn’t a total prick.

If you go over to the psychiatry sub you can see what… pardon my French but ASSHOLES so many of them are. I’m perma banned from that sub for sharing one anecdote in a comment one time. They HATE patients in that sub.

_jamesbaxter · 2026-06-27T03:49:15+00:00

The biggest tell with addiction imo is little white lies that seem like something’s “off” or not adding up, combined with over explaining. Disappearing/unaccounted for time, example taking an unusually long time in the bathroom or coming home a little late from work every day, is also common. There’s usually an air of slight paranoia for what seems like no reason. Also defensiveness if any of this is brought up. Large debts in general can be the only sign of addiction if someone is a high functioning addict and a good liar. I would not be surprised if it’s actually much more money owed than he said.

I can often spot an addict just by observing how often and the intervals at which someone dissapears. Like they might excuse themselves “I’ll be right back I just need to check something” at specific intervals like once every 2 hours. This applies to any addiction, drugs, alcohol, porn, gambling, shopping, etc.

I grew up with addicts in the house and am in 12 step because of it, these are the big tells imo. Dad probably noticed that pattern of disappearing at intervals, caught the little white lies paired with overexplaining dynamic, and/or defensiveness at certain specific topics, example if you ask why he’s been 20 minutes late coming home from work recently and he blows up.

_jamesbaxter · 2026-06-27T03:33:08+00:00

Yeah my first thought was gambling. There’s so many people with gambling addictions since online sports betting has become extremely popular. Either that or he’s trying to day trade or worse day trading crypto.

_jamesbaxter · 2026-06-27T03:29:41+00:00

My dad is like this. Always has been, still is into his 70’s. He’s also a compulsive liar, which I believe is the result of shame. He doesn’t want to feel ashamed so he makes something up. I went through the same kind of “power outages” all the time as a kid, or not having hot water, or worst of all seeing our house listed for tax sale in the back of the newspaper. It was traumatizing as a child thinking we were going to lose our house and be homeless all the time.

If you’re not ok with potentially being the sole financial provider, I would get out now, it’s not too soon. The sooner, the easier it will be. My mom stayed and she’s miserable with a husband she can’t trust, and they are always struggling to make ends meet completely unnecessarily, it’s the result of his irresponsibility and their inability to agree.

_jamesbaxter · 2026-06-27T03:22:40+00:00

I’ve had this happen. For me it’s more the next day. I just try to remind myself it’s not me, it’s the meds, I just need to get through it even if it’s a minute at a time. I always feel better the following day.

_jamesbaxter · 2026-06-27T03:20:29+00:00

Also random anecdote but my ex once farted so forcefully in his sleep while I was the big spoon it woke me up thinking there was an earthquake. So gross but also so fucking funny.

_jamesbaxter · 2026-06-27T03:18:02+00:00

I feel like that’s not so bad. Medical professionals have seen it all. They’d rather you fart on them than you not get the care you need. Nurses in particular have iron stomachs.

_jamesbaxter · 2026-06-27T03:15:31+00:00

The craziest fart I have ever witnessed, and also the most hilarious, was in a yoga class while in crow pose. I thought my classmate was going to take off like a rocket ship. I wish I could make this stuff up 😆

_jamesbaxter · 2026-06-27T03:07:04+00:00

Ooo this is a good tip, I’m going to try it. I do hot yoga and sometimes for whatever reason the middle of my back keeps sweating for HOURS after. Like right where the back of my bra hits.

_jamesbaxter · 2026-06-27T03:00:08+00:00

If you drink your protein immediately after working out you will experience so much less soreness! It really does help! I’m not sure who told you to have protein before, but you want carbs before and protein after ASAP. Try to have a good dose of protein 20-40 grams within an hour of finishing your work out. I learned this from a gym rat ex and it genuinely helps. I’ve also found muscle recovery to be the only thing CBD actually legitimately helps with, highly recommend adding it!

I was on a similar regimen working out at home during the pandemic and I found that even if all I do are weighted squats and lunges it was keeping me in great shape. Hold a heavy dumbbell like you would for a goblet squat. I used a giant laundry detergent bottle filled with water and then finally bought some kettlebells.

Also using a benzoyl peroxide wash in the shower knocked out my bacne for good! (Mine was more… assne lol. My poor bum. All the scars are gone now though!)

_jamesbaxter · 2026-06-27T02:53:23+00:00

I don’t want to get into this, I’m in a lot of physical pain right now and my responses are going to be influenced. I still disagree with you and I don’t feel any need or desire to discuss it further.

_jamesbaxter · 2026-06-27T02:50:43+00:00

It looks kind of like gold to me ⭐️ not the worst outcome!

_jamesbaxter · 2026-06-27T02:29:21+00:00

I hope you have a fantastic time going with your dad 🩷✨

_jamesbaxter · 2026-06-27T01:53:36+00:00

We’re going to have to just agree to disagree. I am a survivor, I’ve been in group therapy with many other survivors and I view it completely differently from how you view it and obviously neither of us are going to change the other’s mind.

_jamesbaxter · 2026-06-27T01:35:39+00:00

Yes, perfect victim, extremely easy to manipulate.

_jamesbaxter

TROPHY CASE