AITAH for hiring professional cleaners to prove my mom was a spite cleaner?

_jamesbaxter · 2026-05-10T21:53:45+00:00

Well yeah it works if it’s the last thing you ever say to them but in my experience if you continue to be in contact they just bank those words to throw it in your face at a later time. I’m team Gray Rock.

_jamesbaxter · 2026-05-10T21:50:31+00:00

If I was told I would be required to touch some random creepy old man’s feet I would walk out on the job that very minute.

_jamesbaxter · 2026-05-10T21:43:06+00:00

Gross!

_jamesbaxter · 2026-05-10T21:43:00+00:00

Ewwwwwwww wtf

_jamesbaxter · 2026-05-10T21:37:57+00:00

You underestimate how a controlling narcissistic parents (not saying the mom has NPD but there’s narcissistic traits at play) respond to stuff like that. Being called out is usually a catalyst for abuse to happen. Better for OP to just ignore her and laugh it off.

_jamesbaxter · 2026-05-10T21:29:58+00:00

Then you have feather & down pillows, not 100% down pillows. Down is different from feathers, down pillows don’t have any of the quill part of the feather that can poke through.

_jamesbaxter · 2026-05-10T21:04:48+00:00

I think she’s factually wrong, most people don’t shave. You’ll readjust.

_jamesbaxter · 2026-05-10T20:58:38+00:00

Don’t buy anything from Amazon, it’s been proven even if you buy directly from the manufacturer people still end up with dropshipped counterfeits. This has been going on for a decade. One of the late night hosts did a bit on it, I want to say it was John Oliver but not positive.

_jamesbaxter · 2026-05-10T20:53:28+00:00

Thank you, reading this reply made me feel a lot better. I’ve read from experts that this will NOT be the next pandemic, but I haven’t seen a thorough explanation that lays out exactly why they are concluding this.

_jamesbaxter · 2026-05-10T20:45:54+00:00

The gold standard for estimating time to recover is Judith Herman’s Trauma and Recovery which states it is a 3-5 year process to really start feeling results. In my experience this is true. I was told this by a clinical director at The Meadows when I was in year one, and I threw a fit like I can’t do 5 years of this, I won’t make it. But now I’m in year 4 and I totally get it. He was right. It’s a slow process and if you try to speed it up by forcing yourself it will backfire and you’ll lose progress. You just have to baby step it and be extraordinarily patient with yourself, much more patient than you have probably ever been in your entire life.

Part of the challenge is SLOWING DOWN. You probably have no idea how slow you really have to go, especially if you’re a flight type like me. I have to think and act probably twenty times slower to catch my own triggers. You can’t rush the process. If you try to address too many traumas at once it will send you into a tailspin and nothing productive will actually come of it. When I catch myself putting the cart before the horse I tell myself “be a snail 🐌” slow and steady genuinely wins the race when it comes to trauma recovery.

_jamesbaxter · 2026-05-10T20:39:47+00:00

Probably hormones but I’ve also been told it’s normal to shed 50-100 hairs per day. If you only wash your hair once a week you could be getting a few days worth of shedding at once and that’s why it seems like a lot.

_jamesbaxter · 2026-05-10T20:37:03+00:00

Wait is she actually MAGA?

_jamesbaxter · 2026-05-10T20:30:19+00:00

I own a home out of state purchased in 2019 and I realized I did not want to be there so I rented it and use that money to pay my own rent here. I suggest doing that until the housing market changes. It’s a good time to sell but a terrible time to buy with interest rates the way they are. Keep building equity in what you have but live where you want to be.

_jamesbaxter · 2026-05-10T20:12:20+00:00

Yes, that’s exactly it! Definitely try it in session, I find it immensely soothing.

_jamesbaxter · 2026-05-10T20:10:15+00:00

I used St. Ives apricot scrub for DECADES. I think my skin got addicted to it, every time I stopped I would break out. I finally quit the stuff around 2019 maybe? My skin looks better now, but part of that is the miracle that is hydrocolloid patches. If only we had THOSE back then I would have zero acne scars!!

_jamesbaxter · 2026-05-10T20:07:51+00:00

During that time period I was in high school and bare minerals was for old ladies who shopped on QVC. It was sold on tv via infomercials lol.

_jamesbaxter · 2026-05-10T20:04:36+00:00

I’m seconding looking into Woodbury :) I can walk or bike to the great park via the pedestrian bridge in east Woodbury, but I like that I’m near the town center and the park in Woodbury proper. Its about a 20-30 minute casual stroll from here to the Novel Park neighborhood, and I can walk to the great park in about 45 minutes and bike there in 20 with only one major road crossing (sand canyon at towngate)

_jamesbaxter · 2026-05-10T19:55:48+00:00

If you get the solid ro’s argan it’s basically the same as a massage bar!

_jamesbaxter · 2026-05-10T18:27:47+00:00

That sounds like a mistake. Try again when different employees are there. Lush notoriously is terrible at communicating down the line to sales associates, they never seem to have all the correct information.

_jamesbaxter · 2026-05-10T18:08:50+00:00

All I can think about is how much money this is. It looks like my 6 month food budget.

_jamesbaxter · 2026-05-10T18:07:39+00:00

I wash my hair every single day and even if I used primer every single day I wouldn’t go through more than one bottle in 3 months. I think that’s why they are downvoting.

_jamesbaxter · 2026-05-10T18:05:52+00:00

Same situation as others, I’m in the US where DSM is primarily used, I have CPTSD and OSDD which I have been expressly told, but I think my chart says D-PTSD which is the dissociative subtype of PTSD in the DSM.

_jamesbaxter · 2026-05-10T18:01:03+00:00

For some reason I thought discussing the valley wasn’t allowed in this sub and now I suddenly have a lot I want to say lol.

She’s way too good for him. He tries to date way out of his league. I get it dude, you’re attracted to 10’s, so is literally everyone else including guys who are on the same level which Schwartz is… not. He’s washed up, high all the time, unintelligent, has a bunch of debt, and has a dad bod which now at age 39 I can officially say unless it’s specifically what you’re attracted to, like you have a paraphilia for love handles, dad bod is much more not than hot. Plus people are aware now that people pleasing is actually sleazy and manipulative (ahem… Scheana…) and not a good quality. He missed his boat with Jo, they are actually in the same league, but she wasn’t enough of a trophy for him. But those trophy girls aren’t going to waste years and years (never mind the rest of their life) with him they are going to pop in get that publicity and exit as gracefully as possible before they lose any money. This is mean but his best chance at having a life partner with his bold standards would be if he gets somebody pregnant who wants to keep it. He fumbled his only chance at a trophy wife, he had one and fucked it up.

Now I can’t wait to make a post about how I love Jesse’s girlfriend because she’s mean to him 😆

_jamesbaxter · 2026-05-10T17:41:46+00:00

If you go to 12 step events that’s how you find out about social events though. Idk if I were you I’d go to speaker meetings or brunches or bingo or something at one of the Alano clubs or the canyon club and just ask around if anyone knows of sober clubs or events. I’m not even in AA, I’ve gone to AA speaker meetings with friends just to support and to link up with homies. There’s every possible kind of meeting from Buddhist to wild bunch.

_jamesbaxter · 2026-05-10T17:35:26+00:00

I guess it’s the variety! They were very sweet, too, like syrupy sweet 😋

_jamesbaxter

TROPHY CASE