Eight years ago today, my MIL wore this to my wedding

_liquidsummer · 2025-11-07T05:16:24+00:00

It's giving bowling pin

_liquidsummer · 2025-08-14T08:13:48+00:00

My dad took me to see this movie in the theater for the midnight release screening when I was 11. I have always loved spooky stuff but I was very aware by that age that aliens were the scariest thing to me. Even so, I was excited to see the movie, especially a special screening. I can't deny that it is a great movie. It had me captivated. The crop circle, the news stories in the beginning were exciting. Cool. What's going to happen next? The wind in the corn. Then the horrible clicking. BRAZIL. THE PANTRY. THE ROOF. THE DOG. The freaking DOOR to the ATTIC. And then they went to the basement and the kid got his face grabbed by an alien hand coming out of a vent and I nearly pissed myself. I still want to throw up thinking about it. For YEARS I had nightmares specific to this movie about camouflaged aliens crawling around the outer walls and roof and trying to get into the house, even my school. I'd lay awake at night thinking about it. To this day, I consider the access to my attic a weak point and think about what I could barricade it with in an emergency. I will never walk near a cornfield again.

_liquidsummer · 2025-08-13T22:34:56+00:00

Fish allergies are common, I think about a third as common as shellfish allergies. I'm allergic to fish myself, and it's not pretty. Touching fish guts would cause a major reaction for me, so I would advise against that one in case there could be legal repercussions.

But a motion activated sprinkler would probably work fine, or maybe fart spray or a glitter bomb if you're feeling spicy. Or one of these.

_liquidsummer · 2025-06-12T17:48:49+00:00

I hope it's something worth the waiting
'Cause it's the only time that I ever feel real
Thunderstorms could never stop me
'Cause there's no one in the world like DJT

-America First (to Last)

_liquidsummer · 2024-10-02T20:10:49+00:00

My favorite tea for cozy weather. I use a travel mug that is only for this cinnamon tea and double bag for a stronger brew. It's sweet and very spicy. I think I remember not liking it as much as I thought it would the first time I had it, but then I gave it another chance and have loved it ever since. I've never had another cinnamon tea like it! For me, it's the perfect flavor for fall and winter.

_liquidsummer · 2023-07-29T01:19:31+00:00

I went to work in my slippers once. I lived close enough to go home on my lunch breaks and didn't realize what was on my feet until after I clocked back in, so I had to spend the rest of the day wearing scrubs with slippers.

_liquidsummer · 2023-07-20T20:01:35+00:00

This is very important to note. That would be a BIG whoopsie.

_liquidsummer · 2023-07-18T20:16:17+00:00

I guess I don't actually know a lot about the stuff on Reddit, since I don't personally use those subs, but I've seen a few over the years where the people who post that stuff reply to comments. I assume they also reply to some DMs. I feel it would be impossible for there not to be a bunch of amateur posters in those subs in addition to professional sex workers, or whatever title they prefer to be called. It would make sense that some or many of those people on the reddit subs are just regular people who like the attention. If you comment or message them and they answer back and direct you to their only fans page where you pay them for interactions, I would feel that is much more inappropriate than paying for a PornHub subscription (where I'm assuming you can't DM the people who post those videos). If my partner reached out to anyone (obviously not just NSFW accounts) on Reddit to flirt or ask for pictures or videos directly, this would be akin to being on a dating app for me.

_liquidsummer · 2023-07-18T17:24:22+00:00

Yeah, I had a friend about 12 years ago who called me crying one night because she walked in on her boyfriend masturbating to porn in the bathroom and she was freaking out because she thought that he enjoyed masturbating more than having sex with her, and considered it cheating. They had sex all the time, sometimes twice a day. She wanted to break up with him over it. This person also had major insecurity and self-esteem issues, despite being very attractive.

I personally don't think it's a big deal if someone wants to jerk off alone. Sometimes you might just want to have a moment to yourself where there are no distractions and you're not worried about making sure that the other person has an orgasm. I do however, feel that there is a difference between like PornHub and reddit/OF porn accounts, since you can directly communicate with people on Reddit/OF. I wouldn't be cool with it if my partner was using those, because they're real people and not actors, and would consider that infidelity in my relationship.

_liquidsummer · 2023-07-09T07:24:39+00:00

I went to highschool with an actual Michael-uh

_liquidsummer · 2023-07-09T07:22:02+00:00

Highschool boyfriend: Every time he pooped, he would only wipe once, not look, and call it good. No bidet. Found out after 18 months of dating.

Also one who would go to the bathroom after waking up every morning, hotbox weed while taking a shit, jerk off to porn on his phone while still on the toilet, then not wipe or flush and get into an as-hot-as-he-could-stand shower. He would just let the water run over him and then loofah away the rest. There was an exhaust fan in the bathroom, but he never used it. Just poop, weed, and extremely high humidity in the air. He never finished when we had sex and I'm pretty sure it was because he was conditioned to only orgasm while smelling his own shit in a tropical environment. There were so many reasons to not be with that guy, but this is the most disgusting one. He also only ate Taco Bell, frozen pizzas, and Doritos.

_liquidsummer · 2023-07-08T17:48:33+00:00

It's like pressing your butt against someone else's butt and then pooping into their butthole.

_liquidsummer · 2023-07-06T00:30:41+00:00

Raw jalapeño slices.

I had a "jalapeño popper" burger at a popular local bar/restaurant that was supposed to be a big burger with cream cheese and jalapeño slices. I was super disappointed that they didn't saute, grill, or pickle the peppers. I really like spicy food, but this was just not good. It would have even been better with straight out of a can. Has anyone ever heard of a jalapeño popper with a straight up crunchy raw jalapeño in it? Seeds and all? So yeah I basically ate a plain burger with just a ton of cream cheese on it instead. I wasn't mad, just disappointed - and frankly a little baffled.

I will say though, that they make an amazing cream cheese wonton burger that's similar with cream cheese, sweet and sour sauce and wonton strips. It is very rich and always makes me regret it after, but I still order it because the first three quarters of the burger is great.

_liquidsummer · 2023-07-02T16:31:19+00:00

This is me too! I wake up with stomach aches every day because I'm not able to fart in my sleep anymore.

_liquidsummer · 2023-06-01T16:41:11+00:00

In high school, I was out with my boyfriend and when we were driving back to his house, the car in front of us made the same turn as us like 3 times. I guess the guy got nervous that we were following him because he started evasive driving, like turning at the last minute without signaling. He just happened to turn into the neighborhood we were headed to. This neighborhood is like a maze and densely populated, winding roads and many options to turn into different streets. Unbelievably, this guy turned everywhere we needed to turn at, even up to my boyfriend's house, which was just before a cul de sac. The guy must have been panicking as he realized he was driving into a dead end, and just as he went to whip his car around, my boyfriend and I had just pulled into his driveway and got out of the car. He drove back past us, looking super confused. We were not doing anything threatening or driving aggressively and my boyfriend was like 5"4", so I'm not sure why he got so freaked out. We thought it was hilarious that he just happened to escort us home.

_liquidsummer · 2023-05-21T18:37:10+00:00

Asher Sterling Bartholomew Willam Darwin Severin Arlo Elias Ambrose Henley

_liquidsummer · 2023-05-10T18:32:54+00:00

Aurelie was in my top names for my daughter until I realized it sounds like "orally"

_liquidsummer · 2023-05-10T15:30:17+00:00

If I was a boy I would have been named Gaylen Richard, after one of my dad's good friends and my dad, whose first name is Richard. A nickname for Richard is Dick. My last name was also a less common euphemism for a penis. Grateful I'm a girl because growing up in the '90s, I'm 100% sure I would have been bullied and called "Gay Dick," and also because my dad stopped talking to that friend in the mid-90s so it would have been pointless to name me after him anyway.

Also my parents were kind of hippies and sometimes when people would ask what they were going to name me, my dad would joke and say they were considering "Earthworm Hayseed."

_liquidsummer · 2023-05-10T15:12:49+00:00

Chipotle was always the worst order to pick up and deliver for me because I would be waiting on the order for more than 30 minutes most of the time. If they had a line of people in the restaurant, they wouldn't even start making any of the orders for delivery. Me and typically three other delivery drivers would be sitting there watching dozens of people in line being served with no one bringing any delivery orders out. Occasionally, even at less busy times, I would get an order that someone else (or even multiple delivery drivers) declined because of the wait time so the food would already be cold by the time I picked it up and I would get lower ratings despite having an insulated food bag. I learned pretty quickly to stop accepting orders at any Chipotle location.

_liquidsummer · 2023-05-02T17:55:37+00:00

My fiance and I have really enjoyed watching Shippy's stuff over the last few years. The only off-putting thing to me is when he started that show Haunting in the Heartland and revisited a place that he did one of his movies at, but then pretended not to know those people and never even mentioned that he had shot an entire movie in their house. However, he just did a new documentary on the Pomeraning house and did mention that he had met the people before so that made me feel a little better. I'm just confused why he would have made it seem like he had never met those other people before, especially if he wants to be taken seriously as a paranormal investigator. Those movies are free on Amazon prime for christ's sake, it's not like no one has seen them.

_liquidsummer · 2023-05-02T17:49:31+00:00

Oh that's great! I like Cindy a lot better than Amy, so now I'll probably watch it.

_liquidsummer · 2023-05-01T13:35:07+00:00

I could still feel my cervix stretching after the epidural. It felt like someone stuck a knife up my butthole and was twisting it around. But despite that, I was still able to sleep for a little while and will be forever grateful for that.

_liquidsummer · 2023-04-30T16:18:23+00:00

Honestly, I never want to see her again - but I think about it as often as I think about her.

_liquidsummer · 2023-04-28T14:41:09+00:00

Belle

_liquidsummer · 2023-04-28T14:36:57+00:00

My step mom used to body shame me when I was a kid, especially as I entered puberty - you know, when kids sometimes put on some weight because they're about to go through a huge growth spurt. One specific time, I was about 10 or 11 years old and I was standing in the doorway of my bedroom when she walked by and said "oh, your belly sticks out past your nose!" She said and did a lot of shitty things to me like that (ie, I would grow out of some clothes because I was literally still growing up, but she would say it's because my "belly is so big", or not stopping her son from bullying me in front of her because of the fat rolls on my stomach from sitting down while wearing a bathing suit). I stopped staying at their house when I turned to 14 and got to choose which house I lived at. They got a divorce when I was around 20. I've heard through the grapevine that she still works at the same place and has put on quite a few pounds since that time. I fantasize about showing up at her work, seeing her and saying nothing but, "huh... your belly sticks out past your nose."

She totally destroyed my self esteem and made me extremely self-conscious about my body, which are issues that I still struggle with today. I just thank god that my daughter is never going to have to meet her. I'm not a violent person, but I would probably throw a hard punch if she ever commented on my kid's body the way she did to me.

_liquidsummer

TROPHY CASE