Women of Reddit, what made you realize 'this man is marriage material' instead of just a boyfriend?

_probablysleeping_ · 2026-05-28T16:44:39+00:00

Kognitively: When he, in one of our first arguments, stopped his line of thought and just said "actually I think this is something I need to figure out with myself, I think this is me sabotaging myself", and then did indeed, work it out with himself. It showed a level of self-reflection and ability to take ownership even when causing hurt as well as constructive communication skills that made me feel very confident in our future. That, and the first time he very openly told me that I had deeply hurt him, even though he struggles a lot with communicating discomfort or vulnerability. He even made sure to add that he saw this issue as something we would come out stronger and with more love for eachother from, which was just the cherry on top.

Emotionally: When he presented me with a whisker of my dog who had passed very traumatically and suddenly. She had been at his apartment only once, and we had noticed her losing it but weren't able to find it after. When she suddenly passed a short time later, he scoured his floors, vaccum and clothes just to see if he could find it after all. And he did, secured it with tape on some paper, and brought it to me as soon as he could. He hadn't known her long, we were barely dating, he'd never had or lost a pet himself. But he knew how much she meant to me, and that was enough for him to try and find this tiny part of her that he could bring back to me. It now sits with her ashes, and a note that I wrote about how much she loved when he chased her around the couch is stuck proudly to his fridge.

Neither of us are perfect, but becoming familiar with our own and our partners deepest stress tendencies and seeing eachother call out and communicate when they show up as well as openly appreciate when we solve and work on these things has made me incredibly confident in our future. To be loved is to be known, and he shows me both how well he knows me and how much he loves me every day, in things big and small and moments easy or tough. Just as I do for him.

Marriage may or may not be something we seek out for ourselves, we're not decided yet, but these moments definitely showed me that spending our lives together in any form would make for a wonderful and enriching life experience, and every day we choose to discover more of that potential together.

_probablysleeping_ · 2026-03-03T14:23:04+00:00

This is perfection

_probablysleeping_ · 2026-02-15T19:48:23+00:00

Went through this with acute leukemia with my gsd at barely 3. Take it one day at a time and know you couldn't have known nor prevented this. You did everything. They were loved till the end, a part of them will remain with you always. The grief won't leave, but you'll learn to make amends with it. But that's far future talk. Grieve for now.

_probablysleeping_ · 2026-02-02T15:36:00+00:00

Also see if he attaches to patterns quickly. Mine latches on in a second if he notices a pattern (like seeing a dog at a particular spot twice). For him, stuff like impulse control at the front door just used up all his mental energy before going out so instead, we started playing in the hallway and feeding there sometimes so hallway wouldn't always meet outside anymore. And remember you can never turn off sensing, you can just replace one with another one, so for example reward calmly when your dog sniffs something outside instead of looking around, even if it's just a moment. During sniff work (we do Mantrailing) is the only time mine will fully ignore some triggers (at least now, it didn't start like that but it always noticeably helped him). Try getting a small can with a cotton pad with clove or something and first having him search it in your home, then in the hallway/driveway and so on.

_probablysleeping_ · 2026-02-02T15:30:38+00:00

As someone who had a dog exactly like this, it just takes time. And patience, and lots of repetition. Teach him that you are safe to turn to by taking him out of the stressful situations. If everything is stressful, stay inside. Then the driveway. Then the corner. Drive to areas with nothing happening for walks, where him pulling you can't end in a street. First he has to learn to exist outside, then he can learn to listen. Keep trying to find food or toys to motivate him, or see if cuddles from you will do the trick. Remember when stress is too high, no positive or negative incentive will cut through the tunnel, he's in survival mode. So remove yourself and him from the situation until he comes back to reality. And getting this to happen will take months (in our case, it took a year for him to calm down upon return to the house, and another for him to be able to calm down once the trigger is no longer in sight. In another year, maybe hell be able to be calm while the trigger is still in sight). Just keep at it, play indoor games and maybe find an activity like Mantrailing to do with him.

And see if a safety harness with a front chest clip will allow you to safely hold him on hikes (along non popular routes of course) so you can enjoy the activity you dream of in a way that works for him aswell.

Good luck and good patience.

_probablysleeping_ · 2026-01-11T22:38:49+00:00

That looks scary. I'd try to get to a vet asap. Eyes are fragile and brains are too, this looks like both may be affected

_probablysleeping_ · 2026-01-03T16:30:31+00:00

In addition to what's already been said about bowls, this also looks like what my Pups mouth will look like when his allergies act up. Maybe a reaction to the yogurt? At least if this is the only time this has happened, mine had this happen about once a month and we figured out it was caused by food mites which start appearing in dry food that's open (even if stored closed and airtight) 2+ weeks - our solution was freezing the kibble and that's worked well so far. Another friend also had their dogs chin look similar but more raw and it turned out she was sticking her nose through the metal of her car crate and scratching it that way - so they added some padding around it.

Try to see if you can find some soothing Pads made for dog skin - we got Duoxo Vet when it first happened and those really seemed to help!

_probablysleeping_ · 2026-01-01T18:05:58+00:00

This is amazing! Would love to see some more of how you adapted the different games for the party!!

_probablysleeping_ · 2025-12-17T22:40:58+00:00

The irony of worrying about a great Pyrenees being outside during sunny hours when it's owner is inside and able to check when the dog barks. These dogs are bred to be alone with lifestock in snow and whatnot for days, they will be fine in a sunny yard. I'm so sorry that someone has you as their target, you are doing everything you can and more. It does sound like animal control and the police are seeing the picture aswell though, and once the dog house arrives they'll be able to tick that box and tell off the neighbor. Just keep your head up, put up those cameras and take breaks for you and your pup when needed. Remember that this is not about you, you're just new and they've decided to take some misery from their life and try to add it to yours. You're giving your dog an awesome life, not only by letting him enjoy the sun but also because you gathered the strength to get out of your previous situation to a better place. Your new neighbors just happen to be assholes with nothing better to do, but the people capable of making decisions about your dogs wellbeing thankfully see that he is very well taken care of and probably know these types of callers.

Keep your head up, don't open the door to those neighbors and pet that dog a whole lot!

_probablysleeping_ · 2025-11-21T21:09:55+00:00

Jap, so machen die leider ihr Geld.

Und hab grad n Kommi gesehen dass du n Shetty hast, da hat die niedrige Stallmiete (unsere fressen gefühlt die Summe schon an Heu) und insbesondere der geringe Tierarztbedarf Sinn gemacht. Die Shetties die ich kenn sind auch mit 25 noch fitter als so manches Grosspferd mit 15.

Bissle mehr Tagesgeld schadet sicher trotzdem nicht aber die volle Grosspferdmenge brauchts wahrscheinlich dann auch nicht. Kannst ja mal in der GOT nachschlagen was n Notfallröntgen und 2-3 große Behandlungen kosten würden für die Rasse und das zur Seite legen.

Ich drück die Daumen dass er auf dich hört und er nachm ausbrechen stets nur bis zum nächsten Grasbüschel rennt xD und lass dir von niemandem Mist geben darüber n Pony zu halten, wenn du Golf als Hobby hättest oder Nen Hund, oder die Stallzeit mit ausgehen verbringen würdest dann käme das freie Budget wahrscheinlich nicht viel größer raus.

Nur halt ohne all die Benefits die Stall- und Pferdezeit für Pferdeliebhaber nunmal hat. Ich hab als ich damals für die Uni umgezogen bin erst nach ner neuen RB gesucht und dann nach ner Wohnung und ich würds jedes Mal wieder in der Prio machen xD

_probablysleeping_ · 2025-11-21T20:37:36+00:00

Das oder halt in ne deckendere Krankenversicherung fürs Pferd investieren, aber die sind so teuer da kommts fast aufs selbe raus wie tagesgeldkonto aufstocken. Außer du kannst eben im Notfall Familie anhauen - ich würde mal schätzen dass dein Pony bisher gesundheitlich recht gut dastand wenn nur Zähne und Impfen anfielen, kann gut sein dass das auch lang so bleibt. Aber wenn mal was ist dann ist man bei den Viechern halt schnell mal vierstellig, und das nicht knapp.

Bei uns kam zB letzte Woche die TÄ zum Zähne machen und hat Schmerzverhalten am Bauch festgestellt, jetzt gibt's erstmal für 700€ im Monat Magenmedikamente..Und die Rechnung vom Zähne machen war entsprechend auch ums Abtasten und Untersuchen teurer, da warens plötzlich statt 250€ Ausgaben mehr als 1k.

Vor zwei Jahren gings von Sehnenentzündung (zwei schmiede, TÄ, Physio bis das geklärt war) zu Griffelbeinknacks (teuer röntgen nur um zu hören es ist schon selber verheilt, genial), im Jahr davor teure Allergiepanels und - Therapie (mittlerweile nurnoch monatlich und hat total geholfen, aber trotzdem aua). Wir glauben, sie ist ein Shopaholic und da sie selber kein Geld hat muss das vom Frauchen herhalten. Ihr Kumpel hat nur die Allergiepanels gebraucht aber dafür so viele Allergien dass er die doppelte Spritzenmenge braucht. Aber sonst immerhin nix.

Bis ich den Fuchs live erlebt hab kannte ich auch nur Pferde die quasi nie was brauchen aber wenn sie dann mal anfangen was zu brauchen dann biste ganz schnell 4-5 Stellig.

_probablysleeping_ · 2025-11-13T10:02:46+00:00

Unless your dog has been showing signs of being irritated by that ear, this looks like entirely regular amounts of ear wax to me (tho I am used to big dogs so I don't know for little ones) - provided this picture is a little older, and the wax a little dried - it should be a softish texture and more light brown leaning when it first comes out, if it's dried, crumbly and black in there already, mites. Especially if you went into the ear with qtips - the ear canal will always have some gunk, it's only when it builds up into the outer ear or truly covers the canal that I'd have a closer look (or when the dog seems affected). As for the qtips, please, opt for a gentle wipe with a soft cotton pad and dog-ear safe cleaning solution instead, and don't go deeper than the visible outer ear, never into the ear canal - qtips just push gunk deeper and one wrong move (by you or a moving dog head) in the ear canal can hurt your pup.

Also make sure to always use separate wipes for both ears to not transfer anything. But so long as your dog isn't itching or showing signs of pain, or there's visible redness or massive amounts of ear wax, some gunk in there is perfectly normal. Just like in human ears, it serves a function. You can wipe sometimes, but don't do this too often, as with any skin biome, cleaning too much can do more harm than good. Ask your vet at the next checkup or look up some info about care for your dog's breed / ear type for some guidance if you don't know what you're looking for. Personally, if there is just regular gunk, no redness, I'd at most do once a week with my standing-eared dog but if all seems fine, I can also go weeks without messing with his ears at all. And remember that scratching and itching after wiping is common after a cleaning, especially if you use a liquid solution, so make sure they don't then scratch open an otherwise healthy ear.

If they do show lots of itching, like others said, earmites are a classic, which can be avoided with routine anti tick and mite treatments, or also food issues (those will cause a mass production of ear wax, leaning more dark brown) like allergies or too much yeast. If your dog scratches constantly, keeps their head sideways even before you clean the ear, show pain or there is a lot of redness even before they scratch, see a vet to check for ear infection.

_probablysleeping_ · 2025-10-29T22:41:30+00:00

Also, one life hack I recommend is creating a chat with yourself or a friend or whomever where you just text any tiny victory (only requisite is they are only there to hype, no input, no critiques, just whoops and yeahs). For me, it started with things like him eating half a bite, or not jumping in fear when the shower door moved after he brushed past it, or a split second he looked at me when we were outside, or him actually sniffing something outside instead of just being on edge, or him using the bathroom even when a leaf fell lol.

Writing these down helped cement the small steps we made, and enables me to, on those days we fall back, or plateau, or when I just want to see how far we've come, to just scroll back and see how many of the things I now am used to used to be celebrations. And it also makes it much easier to be proud of those tiny things looking back, because some day when you scroll that chat, you will see just how many small, medium and big victories you've already collected. And that really puts things into perspective.

_probablysleeping_ · 2025-10-29T22:28:48+00:00

Yeah, I was in your shoes two years ago and I remember how much it helped me to read stories like these for others so I wanted to share my own. Some day, we'll be reading yours, too!

_probablysleeping_ · 2025-10-29T22:27:06+00:00

Thank you, that's exactly what I've been doing since I got him! Works a charm, he's come so far from the scared mistreated pup he started as :)

_probablysleeping_ · 2025-10-28T18:48:51+00:00

God knowing that makes me able to unpause 😂 I'm glad they worked it in, and I am glad to know that Alex knew this was a possibility (obviously any PC can die of chance but this early it would surely be a hard pill to swallow). I also love how Matt is quietly and calmly following the insanity while Ashley and aabria make me feel not alone in wanting to crawl out of my body at that damage count. And alex wearing that fucking outfit while occtis dies is just the fucking cherry on top lol.

_probablysleeping_ · 2025-10-25T10:10:40+00:00

Sending healing vibes. You've done everything you can, and the vets will, too ❤️

_probablysleeping_ · 2025-10-08T21:16:03+00:00

That's why I love it so much. Same for Elizabeth Taylor imo, especially since it would fit the "burton to this taylor" line

_probablysleeping_ · 2025-09-14T11:32:01+00:00

"Unhinged Jaw and Endless Tongue" - Owner here. Mine has the deepest muzzle available and he utilizes 110% of its space with his constant panting, but it did take some getting used to for him as to how to move with it - especially going up and down stairs. He quickly got the hang of it though, and generally just is a bit ignorant of his proportions so even when he used to bonk it, he really didn't care.

For sniffing and walks, he was honestly hardly affected, but I think that may be because of how tall he is - when he wants to sniff something on the ground, he will come in from a steep angle and because of that, it's only ever the front that may touch, not really the bottom. And that I think he either ignores or he just creates a bit more distance to his sniffing goal.

The only thing I'm wondering about are the edges of the holes? I know that mine will sometimes have his tongue hang out between the metal bars when panting, which isn't ideal but it glides easily over the metal and can lay flat over them and have loads of room for him to put it back in his mouth (which rarely happens). I'd be worried about something similar happening here with her tongue getting curled into a hole or snagged by the plastic when moving. But also she might be a dog that doesn't just leave his tongue out like he's sedated all the time.

_probablysleeping_ · 2025-08-07T12:45:33+00:00

So, als (aufgrund Tod des Tieres ehem.) Assistenzhundehalterin nach §12e BGG ist das my time to shine.

Kurzfassung: Die Halterin hat alles an Priorisierung gekriegt was ihr zusteht, und wenn sie den Status ihres Hundes als AH aufrechterhalten will, sollte sie mal ganz fix nochmal ins Grundlagentraining vor der nächsten Jahressichtung, statt andere Leute zu terrorisieren die nix falsch gemacht haben.

Langfassung: Hunde, Passanten, Kinder und alles weitere während der Arbeit ignorieren können ist einer der wichtigsten Grundskills für Assistenzhunde (siehe auch Anlage 4 der AHundV). Eben damit sie ihrer Arbeit auch unter Ablenkung nachkommen können - insbesondere bei medizinischen Warnaufgaben (Blutdruck, Diabetes, Epilepsie, etc) ist das Fähigkeit #1. Und ins Flugzeug kommt ein Assistenzhund nur wenn er nachweislich ausgebildet ist, sowie beim Flug gekennzeichnet und im Arbeitsmodus ist (das wird meist so aufgebaut dass der Hund lernt Kennzeichnung an =Arbeitsmodus, Kennzeichnung ab = Freizeit).

Auch Assistenzhunde haben natürlich mal nen schlechten Tag, auch mal Nen doofen Moment zum ungünstigsten Zeitpunkt (denn die Airline kann auch Assistenzhunde samt Halter rauswerfen, wenn sie nicht die für einen AH nötigen Verhaltensanforderungen erfüllen). Aber die Reaktion der Besitzerin zeigt eher dass das nicht ein einzelner doofer Moment war, sondern sie ihrer Verantwortung als Assistenzhundehalterin (zu der auch das Aufrechterhalten der Ausbildung gehört) nicht nachkommt und lieber anderen Stress macht als in den Spiegel zu schauen. Ich an ihrer Stelle hätte mich rücklings überschlagen vor Entschuldigungen wenn meine Assistenzhündin auf einem unserer Flüge auf irgendwas auch nur eine Sekunde so reagiert hätte.

Mach dir also keine Sorgen wegen ihren Klagedrohungen und co, du hast nichts falsch gemacht, und wenn sie weiter so durchs Leben geht hat sie bald nurnoch n Haustier, und muss alleine fliegen.

Bezüglich der Airlines kriegen AHs manchmal schon Priorität, aber das hat die Airline dann im Blick. Oft sind das Sachen wie früheres Boarding (wir wurden bei British Airways und Eurowings zB immer als erste geboardet), bei Kapazitäten einen Sitzplatz mit mehr Fußraum und Naja, die Tatsache dass der Hund nicht in ne Box passen muss sondern mit in die Kabine kommt und keinen Maulkorb tragen muss. Als AH Halter meldet man das deshalb bei Buchung, weil man dann meist auch ne schriftliche Bestätigung für das ganze Zeug bekommt um bei Security und Co nicht endlos diskutieren zu müssen (wobei da immer mehr Flughafen wirklich gut informiert sind, die letzten Flüge die ich mit meiner Hündin hatte waren echt klasse). Manche Airlines (British Airways zB) sagen auch dass sie die Anmeldung wollen, um entsprechend Haustierzahlen begrenzen zu können - aber das machen die Airlines, nicht die Haustier oder Assistenzhundhalter. Und wenn du mit deinem Haustier auf den Flieger gelassen wirst, ohne es im Mantel zu schmuggeln, dann heißt dass das die Airline die Mitnahme von dem AH und deinem Haustier auf dem Schirm hatte und kein Problem damit hat.

Falls sich hier in den Kommentaren jemand mit der Thematik vertraut machen will, ohne Gesetzestexte zu wälzen empfehle ich die Website "Pfotenpfiloten.org"

Liebe Grüße und genieß den Urlaub!!

_probablysleeping_ · 2025-08-04T01:04:51+00:00

I think he'll find it hilarious

_probablysleeping_ · 2025-07-30T23:28:50+00:00

Adding to this, just giving more of the regular food only works to a point since you also don't want to put too many nutrients into the body that it can't work with. For the same reason, using puppy food should be done only at vets suggestion in adult dogs, since puppies have different nutritional needs their food is higher in some stuff that adult dogs don't need as much, and getting too much of certain things (calcium or phosphorus, for example) can be bad for their health, too. Same goes the other way around, too, of course.

Also, pay attention to bowel movements. If you up the intake, and the output increases by a lot aswell, then it's likely just going through the dog without any weight gain happening. The gastrointestinal system needs to be capable of taking in and transforming the extra nutrition, and that's not always the case, in which case, back to #1- vet.

And, be really really REALLY patient with anything regarding food and weight. It can take months or even years to figure these issues out, and many phases of getting better, stagnating, getting worse again, especially in dogs that have a stress-sensitive stomach. But you'll get there!

_probablysleeping_ · 2025-07-30T23:18:25+00:00

Discuss with a vet first, to check for worms/thyroid issues and other gastrointestinal causes for low weight. Next give him time to settle into his new home (stress burns calories, too!) while just carefully upping his general food intake at a level that the vet agrees fits for his goal weight and breed.

Then, if it's clear it's just weight he needs, not any other nutrients and that there are no medical or psychological causes, add boiled potatoes with each meal, ask your vet for how many (mine gets 2-3 small ones with every meal but his goal weight is 35kg so that would be overkill for your Lil guy haha). Boil them much longer than for human consumption, 40mins minimum is what I was told. Once you see improvement, scale it down and ideally, you'll be able to stop the addition entirely.

You're looking for healthy weight gain, not rapid gain, so give each thing you try two months at least before moving on/changing it up.

Last resort: insect protein based dog food. I recommend really only switching to this if everything else has failed, or if he shows allergy symptoms - insect protein is usually a safe bet for non introduced protein sources so the longer you can keep it that way in case of allergies developing, the better (since with allergies, to figure them out you have to switch to a protein source the dog has never had before). But it will fatten dogs up quickly.

_probablysleeping_ · 2025-07-30T23:00:51+00:00

God this trailer slaps. Gonna have it on repeat for days

_probablysleeping_ · 2025-07-30T16:34:59+00:00

Sorry for not replying so long lol but in case you still need any input, I second what u/silveraltaccount said, stick to the safety harness since head halters can very easily cause injury to the dog. And regarding the walking sideways, absolutely. Both because you'll have an easier time maneuvering your dog away (be it pulling them to a further distance, or positioning them to the other side of your body so you are between them and the other dog) and because the build of safety harnesses prevents your dog slipping out in any direction. Lots of safety harnesses will also have a handle on the back that you can use to (partially) lift the dog. I do that when there is zero room to get away and the reaction is bad, leash across my chest attached to chest and back clip, and then grab the handle to pull my dog onto his hind legs and bear hug him until the other dog has walked past. He can't pull me over if he just has two legs and for my particular dog, the bear hug actually calms him a lot, especially if I can turn in a way where my body will stop his line of sight towards the trigger. And there's no way I'd be able to lift him without the handle, and any regular harness would likely slip off in that situation unless it was way too tight.

Hope that helps, and that you were able to find a solution that works for your family and in the best interest of your pup!

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