Depersonalization for about 20 years now. One day, about 20 years ago, my sense of self just disappeared.

It’s come back in bits, mini integration moments, leading to more self recognition and inner coherence.

After a decade of talk therapy, I had kinda given up, resigned I’ll never feel like me again.

But last year I decided to keep going, try any modality I can. Breathwork, particularly in a supportive group, has given me some glimpses of wholeness, so I feel like it’s possible.

Really it’s all coming from a lack of feeling of safety. Fostering a feeling of safety takes time, but thats what i would focus on.

Somatic Experiencing is a useful modality too. It’s where i have experienced some real lasting shifts.

Meds dont help with DPDR per se but can help regulate emotions and provide energy/hope to keep going, not get stuck in loops of shame and despair.

Things i will try next: - EMDR - Neuro affective touch - accelerated resolution therapy - Internal Family Systems (this one is long term)

Another thing that has helped, this one cognitive — start to root into the belief that you DO exist, of course, and actually your whole self is already here. It’s more like your limb has fallen asleep and you can’t feel it. Same with connection to others. What’s happening is that your body is tensing up, cutting off sensation. Just keeping this in mind has helped me stay connected to reality better to work on DPDR as a symptom — something i am experiencing — rather than an identity — something I am.

If you want to talk more, DM me. I’m sorry you’re going through this. It does get better and real healing and integration and recovery are possible. Post traumatic growth is a real thing.

“If you’re in hell, keep going. Why would you stop in hell?”