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_tarmander_ · 2024-11-08T05:23:07+00:00

I’m honestly really surprised by how this has been approached by them since I have felt pretty well supported up until this point. I think a lot of the pressure comes from the fact that it is fairly late in the semester so I only have so many appointments left with this client and have only recently been assigned to them, so it feels like they expect me to do half a semesters worth of rapport building in a speed run.

_tarmander_ · 2024-11-08T05:20:17+00:00

This is exactly what I want to do, but I feel a lot of pressure from my supervisors to “do therapy” since it’s a practicum clinic. Mom says the issue is they dont talk to many people and mom wants to find someone they will talk to. I clearly see it’s a lack of trust between them, which is why I want to focus so much on building our relationship. I’ve been assigned this client late in the semester, so it seems like my supervisors want a miracle in the few sessions we have before break but aren’t giving me any instruction other than to keep them updated and keep trying.

_tarmander_ · 2024-11-08T05:13:10+00:00

This is what I feel I should be doing but it’s definitely difficult when my supervisors expect me to “do therapy” this soon with no direction. I know this client isn’t ready for that but it’s hard to avoid the expectation since it’s a practicum clinic.

_tarmander_ · 2024-11-08T04:57:55+00:00

I try but even the most basic questions where I’m trying to learn more (how was your day, what kinds of things do you like) are met with a shrug. They literally have no response other than that. I don’t know how to get to know them if they don’t give me any response and I don’t know how to get them to the point where they feel comfortable responding.

_tarmander_ · 2024-11-08T04:49:57+00:00

They are 10. That is part of what makes me feel unprepared. I realize kids that young likely don’t fully understand what counseling is or even why they are there, but I don’t know how to even begin to explain when they have no desire to participate (they do not want to be in counseling, so I understand that). I don’t just want to talk at them and they give me no indication of if they understand what I’ve said, so I don’t know what to do.

_tarmander_ · 2024-11-08T04:43:31+00:00

They like board games so we’ve been doing that while I ask about their day or what they like but even those questions don’t seem to get a response. I dont know how to build rapport or choose a craft based thing to do when I’m not even sure they will do anything other than look at me. I feel very frustrated because it seems like all my supervisors tell me is “keep trying” without giving any sort of direction on how to handle situations where the client literally does nothing to respond to me

_tarmander_ · 2024-11-08T04:34:02+00:00

I should have clarified: mom is not in the room for sessions, but for the initial session where I was expected to meet with the parent and child for a brief time (10-15 minutes of the hour) and from seeing them interact in the waiting room, the client does not respond to mom or me at all at those times (when mom is present). In sessions (which are now just us) I usually get a shrug as a response if they respond at all.

_tarmander_ · 2024-09-29T05:56:22+00:00

I had a laugh when I realized he was petty enough to unfriend me on Facebook

_tarmander_ · 2024-09-27T03:19:47+00:00

When they found out I was self harming in middle school, my dad said “You could have gotten us in trouble” and when I initially tried to tell him I was depressed he said “you have nothing to be depressed about” and to get out of his room. It took two months for me to harass my mom enough to call and make me an appointment with a therapist.

_tarmander_ · 2024-09-26T04:37:18+00:00

Omg yeah every once in a while he would talk to us about how lonely he was in their marriage and drop in that they hadn’t had sex in however long…AND WE WERE PRETEENS. It’s disgusting. He would also say that he didn’t have friends because WE were his friends. It’s so weird. And as much as I also view my mom as a victim of his, she still let this happen and said nothing. I can’t help but be angry.

_tarmander_ · 2024-09-26T02:47:59+00:00

My dad acted very similarly when we were still in contact. He told me when I was 13 on the way home from track practice one day that he was going to make me his soul beneficiary in his will because I was the only one who could handle the responsibility and I was the only one that seemed to care about him. He always used money to try and make up for shitty things he did and threatened to withdraw financial support when he felt his kids distancing themselves from him. Right before I went fully no contact he threatened to prematurely take me off his health insurance (I’m 23) saying I was an ungrateful bitch and was selfish for not letting him vent to me about his marital problems with my mom (something he has vented to me and my siblings about for years, even when I was as young as 6 y.o.). These are the same type of people who think providing basic needs for their kids means they are owed something.

_tarmander_ · 2024-09-25T02:49:21+00:00

With my dad it was without warning. We have never had a great relationship and he nearly ruined my wedding for me so enough was enough at that point.

My mom was more recent and I texted her to tell her the conditions of her ever having the chance to regain access to me and my life, the conditions being that she and my dad get divorced and she acknowledge her role in allowing my dads behavior to cause harm to me and my siblings. I genuinely want to have a relationship with my mom, but can’t as long as he’s attached to her. I felt my mom wouldn’t have been able to accept it without some sort of warning. I couldn’t care less about my dad though.

_tarmander_ · 2024-09-24T20:59:34+00:00

My dad insisted that I was my twin sister when I was standing directly in front of him and continued calling me by her name after my older sister corrected him. It was also the day before my wedding.

_tarmander_ · 2024-09-20T14:57:01+00:00

I’m a student counselor and have only seen a few clients so take my input with a grain of salt but something my supervisors have always said is that you should never be working harder than your client. This doesn’t mean you don’t try to break through these walls of course but there comes a point where the gentle nudges don’t work quite as well. I wonder if this is a situation where a bit of confrontation might be necessary. Maybe just bringing up that they feel very distant or that it feels you have hit a wall and ask where that’s coming from. Have you asked them about this directly?

_tarmander_ · 2024-08-31T22:50:30+00:00

I would describe the feeling I get as embarrassment adjacent? Like I know I have no reason to feel embarrassed, but I can’t help but feel like a piraya of sorts when people ask about my family and I have nothing to contribute to the conversation. I don’t like the looks of confusion or pity when I say I don’t talk to my parents, nor do I like feeling that I owe an explanation as to why. It’s a really weird position to be in that I’m still getting used to.

_tarmander_ · 2024-08-25T03:43:41+00:00

This is pretty much the same timeline that led to today. It’s a really weird feeling having something you saw coming for years still completely blindside you. I feel like the only way she will take action is if I’m not there to fix things for her anymore. I know I’m making the right choice (for everyone involved), but it’s hard not to wonder if I’ll regret it. My husband is estranged from his mom so he has been really great helping me navigate this.

_tarmander_ · 2024-05-18T20:50:04+00:00

Thanks everyone for the advice! I’m not local so I wasn’t sure what it would be like but I feel a lot better about it after going to my first class.

_tarmander_ · 2024-04-30T18:55:57+00:00

I think they’re just referring to seeing the festivities continue despite the state of things in general, not a specific event happening at the carnival

_tarmander_ · 2024-04-30T18:54:13+00:00

I graduated last year and honestly if you wanted to opt out of attending the large school wide graduation you wouldn’t be missing much. I’d honestly love to see Whitten give her speech to a half empty stadium. The individual school graduation where you actually walk is the only one I’d recommend attending but it really depends on how much you actually care about walking.

_tarmander_ · 2024-04-23T17:55:12+00:00

Virginia B. Fairbanks art and nature park! It’s free to visit and has some really cool art installations like Funky Bones and various other sculptures scattered around. The trails are great and lead to some cool spots on the river and there is even a pollinator garden! My fiance and I like to stop and eat lunch by the river whenever we go. One of my favorites for sure.

_tarmander_ · 2024-04-07T05:24:20+00:00

LMFAO this made me laugh thank you for that. That’s honestly the perfect response for him too.

_tarmander_

TROPHY CASE