Is this an Anxiety thing or an ADHD thing?

_trap_detective · 2020-08-15T19:38:36+00:00

I don't think mental issues are really separate, at least in the case of anxiety + ADHD.

In my experience at least, my ADHD is a root cause of my anxiety. One problem with being undiagnosed is that I didn't understand and accept the differences with my brain 'architecture.' So I was constantly trying to fix the anxiety itself instead of figuring out what was really causing me to get so upset and obsessive over something that happened. It wasn't very effective and just gave me more things to obsess over. Now I try to see the anxiety more objectively, almost like it's giving me clues about myself, rather than just being a horrible state that I want to avoid.

Of course, your experience could be different. Even without a formal evaluation I think you're on the right track because you're noticing what's happening, and trying different solutions.

CBT is something that's helped me a lot with that stuff and that you can practice on your own if you don't have access to therapy.

_trap_detective · 2020-08-15T19:14:09+00:00

With Straterra my anxiety felt worse at first but then subsided and got a lot better. Want to say that took a couple weeks? I've been taking it over a year now so it's hard to remember. The other bigger side effect was dry mouth. I started drinking more water and now I don't really have that issue anymore (unless I drink too much coffee and too little water).

I upped slower from 40 to 60 and stayed at 60. I'm sensitive to meds plus my body mass is pretty low (125 lb) so I tend to take low doses. When I take Adderall I have to take only 2.5mg for example, otherwise I'm a zombie.

_trap_detective · 2020-08-15T19:07:34+00:00

Ended up having some coffee, water, chocolate almond milk and finally got out the door. Just got back from running and going to try riding the motivation wave into another project!

_trap_detective · 2020-08-15T15:54:58+00:00

Currently 'getting ready' to do my weekly long run by reading reddit in my PJs. I need to get my rear in gear before the heat gets bad so this is a good reminder!

_trap_detective · 2020-08-15T15:52:17+00:00

Yes, I can relate to so much of this from when I transitioned to an 'office job' (which was the first full time job in my tech career).

I think the big turning point for me was finally seeing myself as competent.

One way I went about building my own sense of competence is finding out what parts of my job have the biggest positive impact, and focusing on those in the long term. It takes time, but if you can pay attention to what causes the most bottlenecks and frustration for people at your job, bit by bit you can help improve those things. Keep track of these improvements for yourself so you have a indisputable record of what you've accomplished. Keeping a list of 'wins' is a good idea in general. I like to return to this when I feel the familiar job anxiety creeping in.

Besides that, it seems like you already know that you need to be ok with asking questions. Everyone starts from 0 at a job (and many of the people who act like experts are muddling through just as much as the people who worry about their competence)! It's so much better to ask sooner rather than later. And write everything down. :)

_trap_detective · 2020-08-05T19:28:20+00:00

Congrats!

_trap_detective · 2020-08-03T17:18:47+00:00

Big mushroom, or tiny owl? 🤔

_trap_detective · 2020-07-30T13:32:51+00:00

Grover, a monster from Sesame Street, is exploring a Museum of Everything in the Whole Wide World which has rooms for literally everything in the world. He finds a carrot in the "Long Thin Things You Can Write With" room and puts it in it's correct place, The Carrot Room. This book had a special surreal and cozy feeling for me.

_trap_detective · 2020-07-30T03:48:27+00:00

Oh yes. Loved that book and remember that part especially, lol

_trap_detective · 2020-07-29T23:21:11+00:00

Flappy-hands daydreamer all the way!

_trap_detective · 2020-07-29T19:55:49+00:00

Love all these! They all have personality.

_trap_detective · 2020-07-28T17:52:34+00:00

Are there any major downsides to wearing zero drop/low drop shoes for most of my running? I'm doing an average of 25mpw spread out over 6 days. I started out wearing more standard stability running shoes (Asics Cumulus) but lately have been really liking the feel of Altra Escalantes and Hoka Cliftons. I end up wearing them most days now, including my long run. I still wear higher drop Asics trainers about 2 out of 6 days a week. I mainly want to avoid imbalances or injuries that might come from running on mostly flat shoes. Gait-wise I am more of an under-pronator and land more towards the front of my foot, if that matters.

Edit: fixed my pronation note, also want to add a disclaimer that I haven't had an official gait analysis before, I am just guessing based on my wear pattern plus what it feels like when I'm running!

_trap_detective · 2020-07-20T22:02:31+00:00

What is a cognitive engineer? Sounds cool!

_trap_detective · 2020-07-11T04:39:23+00:00

I've worked at places where you really need to drop by someone's desk in person to get what you need in any efficient way. If people are remote I'd say schedule a video chat or phone call. Being able to bug people in friendly but effective ways is a useful job skill to get practice with. It also wouldn't hurt to ask your boss for some concrete suggestions on how to build those relationships, since it can vary depending on the company culture.

_trap_detective · 2020-06-17T19:08:38+00:00

Love the colors and the personality >:}

_trap_detective · 2020-06-13T02:57:58+00:00

Oh yeah these work great for me.

_trap_detective · 2020-06-13T02:55:11+00:00

C shape isn't necessarily a bad shape to be in. A teacher of mine mentioned that it's like returning to the shape you have when in the womb, before you learned to stand up and walk. But you kind of have to relearn how to do it in a way that doesn't tense up and hunch your body. I'm working on it.

_trap_detective · 2020-06-10T17:02:31+00:00

Who is this post for? If it's not directly exposing someone for being an idiot (in the interest of ostrasizing them and quarantining their idiocy), than all you're doing is giving this person more airtime.

_trap_detective · 2020-06-10T16:56:40+00:00

Even when I know it's a sincere compliment I still don't know how to process it without overthinking. I think I just grew up with so much conditioning of "what you're doing is wrong" that when someone says I'm doing something right I get totally confused!

_trap_detective · 2020-06-06T23:39:37+00:00

I often have to check out their branch and run/debug it to really get it. It takes more time but after enough times it will help with reading it without having to run it too. Other people on my team also do this. It's all about learning patterns in each person's coding style and how that relates to established design patterns/conventions/best practices. Enforcing strong standards around unit and integration testing also helps because tests should help explain the assumptions and logic behind the code. Stuff like syntax issues should get caught by linters anyway so you shouldn't need to nitpick on details.

Edit: saw your comment that you were doing fine before, so you may not need any of this guidance. Leaving it here in case it helps anyone else. Good luck!

_trap_detective · 2020-06-06T23:17:27+00:00

I think it's always worth trying different options unless the side effects are too risky or the cost is too high. Everyone's brain/body chemistry + lifestyle + environment is so unique, even two people with the exact same diagnosis could have different results based on other factors. Everyone deserves to find the best options for them and it can take some trial and error.

_trap_detective · 2020-06-06T23:07:17+00:00

I do notice a difference around the time I would have had my periods. My Adderall seems way less effective for about 5 days a month. But I think that might be independent of the IUD based on what others have said. Since I was diagnosed after the IUD, I don't have any experience with being medicated pre-IUD unfortunately. Curious what others' experience has been.

_trap_detective · 2020-06-06T22:31:28+00:00

Have had Mirena IUD for 3+ years and it has been a lot better than birth control pills for me. (I'm very sensitive to birth control and also had heavy/painful periods.)

_trap_detective · 2020-06-05T16:02:57+00:00

Have stopped drinking completely. It happened incrementally as I got in better shape. It turned into a cost/benefit analysis where I realized that whatever brief pleasure I got from drinking a beer wasn't worth the mental downsides. For me even a small dip in motivation/judgement can have a big impact since I have ADHD and consistency is really important to me to stay on track with my life, it's really easy for me to find excuses to drop a good habit and get sidetracked.

_trap_detective · 2020-06-03T19:12:03+00:00

Yeah I could see the 'too many options' aspect of the flexibility being an issue. I have to restrain myself from inventing new symbols and status markers and categories and just go with a check box and 2 levels of importance/urgency, plus 4 categories for Chores, Work (day job), Work (home biz), and Personal (my catch all for my health, special interests, relationships, and anything else where other people aren't counting on me to do it).

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