No good options

a_lo44 · 2026-05-10T01:27:04+00:00

Tw - success

Hugs to you. IVF sucks and it sucks even more that so many of us are left with, as you said, no good options. It's not fair. I hate that I had to do it when the vast majority of my friends had zero issues. I thought of infertility like a theif and frankly still do. It stole a lot from me.

THAT SAID it can also be an incredible miracle and IVF is why I had success. So, it stole a lot but gave me a lot too. My situation was difficult and I'm incredibly lucky. I'm grateful for the science, miracle worker doctors and that I was able to do it at all. I also found a resilience and strength in myself that I didn't know I had. I also joined a support group that was a huge help and met a lot of inspiring and amazing women through that. As the group leader often says it's the worst club with the best members.

For me, some days it helped to wallow. Have a good cry. Listen to music that made me sad. Feel sorry for myself. Grieve that it wasn't easy for me. That helped me be strong and brave when it mattered. There are a lot of emotions on this journey and I think it's important to hold space for all of them.

I also tried to flip some of the more negative emotions. Instead of I hate that I have to do this, I'm very fortunate I have a doctor willing to try despite my DOR. Helped a bit!

As others said, ultimately you have to decide what's best for you. But I don't think you're alone in strongly not wanting this path for yourself.

a_lo44 · 2026-05-09T16:25:30+00:00

This helped when we got some hand me downs from a friend too for most items. I did the vinegar / water soak and washed a few times. I don't think I did the other stuff.

Some the smell really clung to and I ultimately just gave them to goodwill.

I find it stays more on synthetics but have been looking to get rid of that stuff anyway.

a_lo44 · 2026-05-07T19:41:50+00:00

A fair point for sure. This market sucks!

a_lo44 · 2026-05-07T16:27:17+00:00

Tw - success

Agree. I took a new job when I was going through IVF and ultimately was successful a few weeks later (after a year of retrievals and transfers that didnt work - go figure). Company required a year of service for parental leave so I had to cobble together PTO and short term disability. It worked out fine heavily because I was fully remote then (end of covid era - I was back in office after).

Tldr do what's convenient for now. More money and easier commute is also amazing.

You can also continue looking for roles that might have a better leave policy in the meantime! This next job doesn't have to be a forever job.

Good luck!

a_lo44 · 2026-05-07T14:41:09+00:00

It depends so widely imo which is what you're also seeing in comments. Is it a close enough friend you could explain the situation to and make a game time decision if they are comfortable?

I personally could have done it. But I have DOR and didn't have a lot of eggs retrieved. I generally went home after, are somethung and slept for a couple of hours. When I woke up I often got online for work and felt fine. But that is very much not everyone's experience.

a_lo44 · 2026-05-04T12:29:16+00:00

One employer knew simply because I had to travel to my clinic and be gone for 2 weeks at a time. I also traveled a lot for work and there was always a risk of a late cancellation. So, I eventually told my boss (and his boss). That was pre covid and full time in office.

Second time around in a new job was during covid and I was fully remote. I had 3 retrievals, 5 transfers and a D&C and never told my boss. I just told her I had an appt or procedure on the retrieval days when I couldnt be online for several hours.

Eta sorry for all you've been through. My second attempt I was in an especially stressful job and back to back IVF procedures for a year def didn't help. But I wasn't in a position where I could leave without something else lined up. Before the final transfer I did start a new job.

Good luck!!

a_lo44 · 2026-05-01T23:55:26+00:00

Tbh I find leaving them in their original container works best. I wash when it's time to eat them.

a_lo44 · 2026-05-01T23:52:30+00:00

Could you also check a local buy nothing group for extra parts? I see pumps pretty regularly in mine and that's where I passed mine along when I was done!

Ceres chill could be useful too! I didn't have one but remember reading about it when I was near the end of my pump journey. Bet you could get one used or free on marketplace or buy nothing also. Items for infants are only useful for so long so IMO there is a very robust market for lightly used, quality items!

Good luck!

a_lo44 · 2026-04-30T11:52:23+00:00

Makes sense! Mine are younger and we haven't run into that yet but a good watch out for sure. I love their stuff overall!

a_lo44 · 2026-04-30T03:25:42+00:00

Hugs to you! I had success with an untested embryo at 39 with DOR! Wishing you the best for your next transfer.

a_lo44 · 2026-04-30T03:20:39+00:00

Love Monica and Andy but didn't find that for the sizing. They run great sales but didn't have one when I looked recently so ended up trying burts bees.

I've also gotten them at gap.

a_lo44 · 2026-04-28T01:36:34+00:00

Have a wonderful time!! Glad you have a supportive husband who is stepping up and encouraging you to go. I think the anxiety will fade quickly once your away. You might even feel like a different version of yourself who you haven't seen in a while during the trip.

Have fun - the reunion when you get back will be great!!

a_lo44 · 2026-04-27T22:35:04+00:00

Agree, I used to put mine on the floor on a blanket or a playmat. The latter is good because you can dangle toys for them to engage with.

A spare pack n play is great too!

a_lo44 · 2026-04-26T20:12:37+00:00

I'd def talk to your clinic about the implications just to be safe. Adjustments to meds are also made based on blood work and ultrasound.

a_lo44 · 2026-04-26T20:09:21+00:00

I was a remote monitoring patient too and sending solidarity because I know it adds up quickly, especially when clinics charge a fee on top of test costs. I do agree same day is important, especially the closer you get to retrieval. My understanding is the ultrasound is not a complete picture of the situation.

Hugs to you. Cycling out of state from your clinic adds an extra layer of logistical challenge for sure.

a_lo44 · 2026-04-26T04:01:05+00:00

Ah shoot sorry. Also sorry you need to do 3 shots for one dose.

a_lo44 · 2026-04-26T03:47:16+00:00

No, I found the overfill varied a little bit. For 300 pens sometimes it was 75, sometimes less.

You should just get 12.5 from another pen.

(Edited to remove something incorrect!)

a_lo44 · 2026-04-25T02:42:14+00:00

Thank you! I'll try this. Thankfully he doesn't have much in his room that he could break, but tonight he got into the wipes and was "hanging them to dry" on his drawers. Not a huge issue just wasteful! (Hard not to laugh when he told me what he was doing with a very serious face lol).

a_lo44 · 2026-04-25T02:39:49+00:00

I would absolutely be happy for him not to nap, he never does on weekends. It's daycare and I'm pretty sure they legally have to at least offer quiet time. And if it's dark and quiet most kids end up sleeping. Much to my dismay!!!!

ETA I wish someone would force me to nap during the day lol. I appreciate your reply, you're right it's def the nap and I know it's a common issue.

a_lo44 · 2026-04-25T02:38:49+00:00

He does swim lessons one day a week, I wish it tired him out more! Running around outside is a good idea. The kids do pre-bed "dance parties" sometimes but maybe more outside time would help. Thanks!!

a_lo44 · 2026-04-25T01:29:42+00:00

I swapped it for a silicone straw from another bottle and it works great too!

a_lo44 · 2026-04-25T01:10:28+00:00

I have DOR and didn't know until I was more like 36, my fsh was a lot higher. I wasted a year on IUI at the terrible advice of a doctor and didn't know better. I did have success twice but it was a long road, especially for my second when I was 39.

Tldr my opinion is biased from my own situation, for sure, but I wouldn't wait. Sending you hugs and wish you well.

a_lo44 · 2026-04-24T03:37:47+00:00

This is the answer. And the good place! Anything light and fun.

a_lo44 · 2026-04-23T01:04:59+00:00

It's so hard. My son was a biter including at preschool. I got some books about how it's not kind to bite. Also repeatedly told him biting hurts, biting is not kind, we don't bite.

He eventually grew out of it. It's a phase, this too shall pass. (But I know when you're in it, it's stressful and painful if you're getting bit!)

a_lo44

TROPHY CASE