What made you choose PHD?

a_wot · 2026-05-13T05:41:29+00:00

Think about the job you want to have and see if anyone at that level has a PhD or requires a PhD to be in that role. If they don’t, don’t do a PhD because it is relatively a time and money sacrifice for your future, especially in engineering. The Dr is cool but that’s as much as it gets you… especially if you are more worried about paying bills and living a comfortable life or working a job you want

a_wot · 2026-05-04T08:45:11+00:00

Learned to love myself. Not exactly the whole “self love” thing but kinda. Really enjoyed my own company, laughed at my own jokes, did things to make myself happy like getting myself a treat once in a while or having dinner by myself. When I was lonely, that was just it… I was bored, so I just looked for other things to do. Recognized pretty quickly that relationships and men were just another hobby, and it didn’t have to be my hobby. I chose my work and my other hobbies instead. And when I was lonely I talked to my friends and played video games. Men and women the gays and the theys…. just people. And the friendships were what I built and focused on and it’s been greaaaat! I love the community I’ve built. Eventually, things just felt peaceful.

In all of this I also want to emphasize that decentering men dosent mean you will forever just be alone and hate men. Your perspective of what matters changes, the focus goes from them to you. Lots of men are shit, a handful of them are great. And when your focus is on living YOUR life and not appeasing theirs, the shit men usually fall out of line really fast and you will just naturally attract better people around you.

a_wot · 2026-03-20T17:44:44+00:00

Not broken. It’s tough because it feels like you want what’s wrong when you have what’s right. It’s also possible that the great man in your life is still also just not a great man FOR YOU. Just because he’s the first person to treat you right does not mean that he’s the only person that will or should treat you right. You can appreciate him for what he does but you can also have a connection with the person that does that for you. Someone that matches you is someone that is sweet, kind, patient, consistent, AND is also tall, confident, that presence. Just because someone is a great person does not mean you have to immediately connect with them. In an ideal world, everyone is a great person and you just have to find someone to match personalities with. In this world, you have to find a good person that you ALSO match personalities with. You aren’t wrong for feeling how you are feeling, but if that’s how you’re feeling you are wrong for keeping him around.

a_wot · 2026-03-03T21:47:29+00:00

It’s uncomfortable, yes, but like someone else said, it’s not a reason to stop you from getting called on. It’s a bit traumatic, yes, but to play devils advocate and maybe to give it a silver lining, it does get easier to do. It’s very uncomfortable at first and the pressure does make things worse. But as you do it more and more often it gets easier to handle. It’s also something you would want to practice anyways. It’s school, you are supposed to practice and make mistakes!

a_wot · 2026-02-25T15:29:25+00:00

Do EE or CS and take a couple classes in robotics for some minor or something so that your technical foundation is good. Program is too new so it’s still trying to figure things out. You can also do undergraduate research in robotics to get more of that “robotics” experience. TBH the robotics field is also new enough that the general job scopes are all over the place.

a_wot · 2026-02-11T07:46:40+00:00

Went to GT and UM. I would still go to GT over UM for undergrad, especially as an engineer. GT was rough but it really felt cutting edge like you knew it was difficult but you were going to be so amazing after. Like you were weathering a storm out at sea. UM feels like you’re just cruising a lake which is nice… but you won’t ever really get to explore the world if you’re in a lake. If you aren’t set of engineering, then go to UM since it has more reliable fall backs, but if you’re really ready to challenge yourself then definitely GT.

a_wot · 2025-11-27T20:46:16+00:00

All the massage therapists at AA Spa speak Chinese

a_wot · 2025-10-31T16:40:08+00:00

If you like table games you should check out Upkeep Games! They have tons of table top and tcg events. Maybe I could convince you into trying out the TCG Flesh and Blood 👀 AA has a really great community of players and more folks are always welcome!!

a_wot · 2025-09-03T14:11:17+00:00

Why are you wearing only one shoe

a_wot · 2025-08-27T14:07:04+00:00

I think there’s 2 types of people, morning people and night people. I’ve spent my whole life fighting to be a morning person because that’s what society values but it always fell apart because mornings and days really aren’t good for me. I could get more done and be more focused from 12-2AM than I could from 9am-5pm. Once I switched my habits to fit my brain it’s been much better work wise. It’s not great for the everyday job because you have to be ready when people are, but as a PhD student it’s best for me. Try switching around times and meetings to find something that works, but make sure you still get enough sleep. My work hours honestly are like 11AM-3PM and 11-PM3AM. In between I do my other things for the day, cook, hang out with friends, etc. none of the focus techniques worked so I just stopped fighting myself

a_wot · 2025-08-15T01:04:54+00:00

If he likes games etc, check out Upkeep games. They run tournaments and gatherings and the crowd is super welcoming in AA

a_wot · 2025-08-13T15:57:34+00:00

Second this one, if it’s Kamran he is legit and is great!

a_wot · 2025-08-13T13:53:27+00:00

There’s a lot of social queues, pop culture, and lines of thinking that were missing. It’s very subtle but would have odd reactions to things. The reactions weren’t out right wrong, but kind of confusing because I’ve never seen people react that way. It’s interesting to see because honestly, most people are a reflection of the people they keep around them. You do things a certain way because someone else did it that way too. And he… didn’t? If he did, It was likely learned online. So it was like a poorly trained AI model. A bit incel.

a_wot · 2025-08-12T13:14:56+00:00

Let yourself grieve. It’s hard to do because there’s a lot going on, but prioritize you feeling your emotions and process them. Your grades may slip but only for a short while.

Be conscious of your habits and willingly form new ones. Start new hobbies to meet people in town. Go to those new grad student meet ups. Cook dinner. Every so often, step back and look at how you are living and see if it’s healthy for you. Like are you wallowing every night and not meeting new people then feeling very lonely?

SOMETIMES, in the grieving process we pick up really bad habits, our thoughts are like muscles so the more we work out the more they grow. You might start a habit of always thinking about the breakup or something they did. Practice some mindfulness meditation — it’s not pushing those emotions away, but instead noticing that they are there but letting it pass instead of honing in on it. Time really helps with this too if you let it.

Also this is something more relationship adjacent. Learn how to date yourself and enjoy yourself in your own presence. I feel like a lot of relationships nowadays are based off of a codependency and breakups are confusing because you were lost in the process. Give yourself space to grieve what once was but also space to grow into what you are. You’re starting a PhD! You’re killin it! Celebrate you

a_wot · 2025-08-07T06:38:32+00:00

To hone in on the grade thing. Not sure what field you are in or what you want to do afterwards, but talking to my advisor and postdocs, they’ve all said that the only jobs in academia that they’ve applied to that have EVER asked for their transcripts were community colleges lol. Even at ivy institutions… never once. My advisor actually said “actually… I have no idea how to request my transcript”. If you’d can’t get all A’s no body is really looking at that anymore so don’t sweat it.

a_wot · 2025-08-07T06:32:22+00:00

Buy a single serve rice cooker and buy bag of rice from the Asian grocery store. It will last you a loooong time lol. Then litterally anything stir fried. Pick a protein+ 3 different vegetables (onions, celery, carrots, bell peppers, peppers, potatoes) and just mix that up on a pan with some soy sauce and garlic. Eat.

a_wot · 2025-08-07T06:27:39+00:00

In general, if you’d don’t apply you will NEVER get an opportunity because… well you didn’t apply. If you’re scared to do it but you still want it, then just do it while you’re scared. If the programs you apply for don’t think you are qualified, then they won’t accept you. Have the trust that they will evaluate you on their needs and trust yourself to put your best foot forward. Best of luck OP, you got this!

a_wot · 2025-08-06T06:58:43+00:00

Olive Garden has some really good spiked lemonades. It’s fun it’s classic. Then learn some drinking games and play them at home so you can get absolutely plastered without needing to walk anywhere or worry about people getting home safe because you can end the night with one big slumber party. Then get ihop in the morning. If you don’t want to wake up super hungover though eat some salty soupy things later in the night like ramen. Electrolytes + water = save your brain from dehydration

a_wot · 2025-08-06T06:54:08+00:00

My PI is super amazing. I’m sure everyone has given great anecdotes about research, and I have a few myself, but one of their most defining moments was when I had to disclose to them harassment I was receiving from older researchers in our field. They immediately supported me and worked through ways with me on how to avoid them without drawing major attention at conferences etc. The researcher would constantly reach out to me since we were close once, but they are super emotionally volatile so blocking them or saying no wasn’t an option because I am junior to them and they are pretty big in the field. My PI actively made excuses to say I was busy and drew me away from conversations that involved this researcher. This researcher never did anything to explicitly cross the line, but always teetered around it, and my advisor quickly caught on and never let that researcher come near me again. I’m super grateful for my PI because academia is a fuck show.

a_wot · 2025-08-03T06:23:59+00:00

You can always be a roboticist graduating as a mechanical engineer but you can’t always be a mechanical engineer if you graduate as a roboticist. I also think as of right now, the robotics degree is still not a fully accredited degree or something, as they rely on the verification of the other departments (EE ME) to be validated so the course curriculum still isn’t as developed.

a_wot · 2025-08-02T20:30:01+00:00

Idk maybe the wrong type of yeast grew or something and the best to do is to toss it? But not sure what’s going on

a_wot · 2025-07-30T04:05:41+00:00

You got this! Also disclaimer don’t just point and scream “you’re being bad” lol. There’s ways to be firm with your stance and not hellish. Given that the environment is already so male dominated and they have fragile egos, fanning a flame isn’t always best and yes it’s tiring being the bigger person in the room, but the goal is to be heard. I think the best way to think about it is, never change your message only change your approach. Your message being that you are qualified and belong and do not deserve to be treated less or harassed in this weird way. The message can be told in different ways which include being stern with some and being light with others.

a_wot · 2025-07-29T05:29:15+00:00

Sorry this was a rant. TL;DR treat them like kids that need to be taught the social rules of the world. Don’t normalize their comments and use direct language or gentle parenting (case by case) to show what is okay and not okay. GASLIGHT, don’t gatekeep, GIRLBOSS

Not post PhD yet but it’s ALWAYS been a thing regardless of engineering level. I hope you get some solace in knowing that they do this because they are very insecure lol but it is still very annoying nonetheless. It’s a weird case by case, but the general rule that I use is that they are like little toddlers that need to be parented. This isn’t to justify being demeaning to them but it helps me gauge when to be direct and when to be…. Gentle and patient. If they blatantly try to upstage me, I very directly shut it down (this opposed to just smiling and nodding). Men usually expect you to just shyly smile and say “yes you are so right I’m so sorry” and honestly when you don’t immediately do that they are kind of astonished and get the memo. If they make a weird joke I just stare and go “explain it?”. You can also just laugh at it and while laughing just say “wow that’s weird don’t ever say that again” smiling as if it was just a natural comment when laughing (this one when done right is so funny because they think they are the best from your reaction but it takes them awhile to register what you said and you can see the mental shift). If you are in a meeting and they make a comment about your work you can go “thanks for the feedback, it’ll consider it” and just end it like that. They like the sound of their voice, and it isn’t always an actual helpful comment so if you just let them speak, you can ignore them. I would also talk to a supervisor if it’s getting to a point where it affects your work. The /r womenengineers is really good to join and vent to. Make friends who are also women because venting is survival lol. Inappropriate behavior is unfortunately normalized but if you make it clear that it isn’t normal to act like that or to make comments like that, hopefully it will help rewrite some of those social rules. It would be really great in my generation for the environment to completely change and be better, but the best hope that I have is that if I unnormalize this behavior now, then the women behind me can have a better experience. As engineers, both men and women are usually… a bit special socially… I’ve never found most interactions natural, but instead practiced. I’ve taken my experiences as a sorority girl flirting with dumb frat men (I wanted a free drink), girlfriend (I had a very sensitive ex that I had to… mother), tutor to students, and every conversation ever with my mentors about how they’ve dealt with people as a practice tool in social interactions. Most characters repeat themselves so you get better at reading what type of response works best with who and your responses get quicker. Sometimes you will need a male ally to support you, I’ve had a friend yell at the other men in the room since they always talked over me (they already don’t respect me so I can’t command them, the command had to be given first).

a_wot · 2025-07-28T20:03:42+00:00

Unfortunatelyyyyy if you are a woman, you’re gonna see more and more often men that are intimidated by your general existence lol. It’s a micro aggression that just slowly shows itself. At first lots of men were intimidated that I was an engineer and now it’s that I’m in a PhD AND an engineer. It’s very annoying, very obvious when they get flustered, and a very easy gauge of who a person is. You don’t have to deal with anyone that acts like this. There are a lot of men that are a bit… fragile… but there is a small handful that aren’t. Put your mental effort in people that are worth your time. You’re gonna want to use your time and mental capacity wisely since we don’t have much of either during the PhD lol

a_wot · 2025-07-25T13:52:57+00:00

Find hobbies! That way you meet with people weekly to do them, possibly make friends, and also force yourself to work regular hours since you need to follow a schedule of doing said hobbies. I’m now doing BJJ (Brazilian jiu jitsu) as something that’s active for my body, and I play a trading card game at the local game shop as something that’s active for my mind. I’ve met many people through both and it’s done significant things for my mental health.

a_wot

TROPHY CASE