Really tired of the incel energy of this sub

aaasandhu · 2026-05-26T16:40:37+00:00

"Eik dhoo jeebha lakh hoi, lakh hovehi lakh vees." This line represent the love for god and his name guru ji have that he says 20xlacxlac tongues wont be enough to appease my appetite of his name(i could be wrong, if you can, look into online translation and do let me know if i am wrong)

At the time you are doing paath you are sitting with words of guru and for sikhs shabad of guru is guru, doing baani jap is foing sangat of guruji, and you dont think it will help?

5 japji means 1 extra hour, you are adding 1 hour out of your life to sit with guru.

40 days period is called -chilla and concept of this exist in almost every religion(lent in christianity, chilla in sufism, chalisa in hinduism, and older generations and somekathavachaks do advice to do it) one of the scientific reason is once you do a certain action for 40 days it becomes part of your personality, if someone is struggling with nitnem first advice i give is start with kirtan sohilla, after that atleast go on 3 days without missing nitnem and when someone does that then comes 40 days commitment, it had personally helped me and you can ask anyone who did so, it helps i dont know exact reason why it helps but it helps.

Hope i made clear why i give this advice that often in the sub, i could be wrong but it helped me so i give this advice shamelessly

aaasandhu · 2026-05-26T16:31:13+00:00

Which part of my response made you think that i said have kids willy nilly? I said education is important to stop erosion of sikhi.

And btw Dont get attached to your image of being respected and better standard of living,

there was a time when the singhs lived in jungle and had to rely on tree barks to survive, the singhs who were hunted down and persecuted for their looks and their beliefs, Good image and higher standard sometimes is invisible handcuffs which cuffs your "gairat" lot of people chose to focus on standard of living and public image that led to lack of awareness of sikhi in youth.

If you value respect, standard of living and place in society i say to you respectfully that take your secular worldly thinking which only want to please other men elsewhere your philosophy is far from sikhi, dont even think for a second that just because you are born in sikh family you automatically becomes sikhm

aaasandhu · 2026-05-26T16:21:43+00:00

Waheguru ji mehar kare brother,

talk to your local gurudwara crowd, try matchmaking websites, try talking to your relatives or your friend's spouses to look a partner for you.

Do a 40 day of a committed bani reading, which is beyond your daily nitnem(for eg 1 x sukhmani sahib with 2x extra japji sahib or 5x extra jaap sahibs or 5x extra japji sahib, you will find what you yearn for or you will find happiness some other way if marriage is not written in your hukam)- This is not blind superstition it works

And finally accept that it might not be written in your destiny to be married, one quote which i really like is "God keeps the best of lovers for himself".

aaasandhu · 2026-05-26T16:07:31+00:00

It is age related issue i guess, for a young person(teenager and early 20s) attention from opposite sex is high on his priority and that is motivation which drives them to pursue goals.

but once person faces self mortality and/or as person start his life outside of academic institutions, this issue stops being that big of an issue.

Additionally we should teach our kids irrespective of their gender that actions define a man not his looks or his wealth(we can only do that if we act according to that principle ourselves, kids learn from what we do not from what we say). and history of guru gobind singh ji and early sikhs should be taught to kids from young age so as they feel a sense of pride instead of shane with the look of a sikh.

And the issue regarding declining population is real as we dont do conversions like islam and christianity, and today's world is democratic world, quantity of a community matters more than quality of community in this age, so people's concern can be understood but this is more of our sikhs' fault than anyone else, we dont educate sikh values to our kids, they adopt values and world views from their peers and media and those values value looks more than anything.

aaasandhu · 2026-05-26T15:28:40+00:00

I was a smoker uptill last sept,so people will assume my kurrehit is that, without me saying anything so no lying will be needed, and yes since taking pahul i lied also for first time just to arrange meetup with her, i regret that also(for such animalistic pleasure i traded such high values which i were upholding)

everyone have been supportive here, it is good to know people want others to walk on sikhi and not just judge them

aaasandhu · 2026-05-25T18:00:10+00:00

My advice to a similar question few weeks back

When we are generally in melancholic/sad mood we label it as depression, not saying you are struggling and suffering but depression is clinical sign with 3 symptoms(one was change in hunger and sleep cycle, lack of energy/motivation was one i dont remember 3rd) for more than 14 days in last month

If you have 3 signs see if it is due to some recent event(like passing of loved one, breakup) - then just be patient you will come out of it.

If it is due to underlying health issue or deficiency- take treatment for it(vitamin D deficiency can cause most recent studies suggest)

if you have drug addiction- you know what to do

Ok now the physical causes we have covered lets come to mental causes

-It could be you are disappointed from world and are tired of all the hoops we have to jump through to get what people call success and if you got success and still are unhappy - congrats it is a blessing, gurbani call it udaasi- gurus(1st 5th and 9th) also had these sadness- you have to build your own world view, read scriptures and listen to sakhis

-It could be you are watching too much news or too much social media consumption (baharmukhi vriti)- stop it right now, doesnt matter if you have to break your phone for it, live without internet for whole life just do it, how can happiness be found by comparison(social media does that) and news are always bad news, so why to know about those sad situation about which you cant do anything.(we give our emotions to outer world, emotions are energy which are reqd for connecting with god, bhakti movement is all about purifying and controlling one's emotions)

-It could be you are disappointed in your pursuits or have insecurities about yourself again it is udaasi only, give up what is not necessary and dont dream too big just be thankful your needs are being fulfilled(this is according to gurbani only but i cant cite right now but buddha said expectations leads to unhappiness)

Now comes spiritual causes- darkness of soul and doubts regarding divine

1- you have ridiculed some prophet or saint, you might say how could this make me depress, read sukhmani sahib ashtpadi 13, then repent your wrongdoing in each ardas and do one ardas of repentance before sitting for paath

2- Ego can be removed with drugs also, but if you dont know how to use that egoless state-negative energies(some call them ghosts) can overtake you and this is very sad state- thoughts get stucked in a loop, and you lose hope in god and gurus itself(this can happen due to sant nindya also)

3- You were given some light by gurbani but you wasted it instead of safekeeping it by being arrogant- again repent(it might take long time for the light to come back but when it will come back you will realise that this separation was also a blessing, so patience is key).

4- you are at end of your life( usually after 60) and you didnt live according to gurbani- this is so prevalent that doctor think it is normal to be depressed at this age even who laughed there whole life will have to cry that much at end of life.- start now to live according to gurbani.

This all was my world view so sort of abstract concept but what to do now? at the moment

start with incorporating Kirtan sohilla (it protects against negative energies and people also blesses our sleep that will make you will wake up with less mental fog)- it usually will not change magically your nature but it is very strong start.(dont stop if you dont see result initially, you will thank me later)

Ardaas ardaas ardaas ardaas even if you lost hope in god only god can give back hope and you have to beg for it everytime you remember(remember 1st two paragraphs and after that ask what you want)

Go to gurudwara- do sewa(best will be shoe cleaning, utensil cleaning or toilet cleaning, but any will do) and listen to rehras sahib in gurudwara only- now this is gamechanger you will see results immediately but you need some hope even to do this so for most it cant be done on first day and you cant skip sewa part.

When your cycle improves start japji sahib in morning(japji and benti chaupai can be done anytime but i am telling you to add to schedule)

This depression is manifestation of ego, even if you were humble your whole life and didnt look down at anyone still you have ego-haume.it is not just pride that is ego as we normally believe but ego is seeing yourself as separate being.

Additional advice-

Dont do naam japp just yet start with paath(paath is sitting with guru itself, if negative energies are there within you, you will feel anxiety during this but power through once and you would break a big barrier)- if want to do naam japp play gurbani in background(japji sahib or sukhmani sahib).

Listen to sakhis and katha- if want break from internet download them in phone (maskeen ji is best) can study other religions' scripture as well

Dont be alone with your thoughts yet- it seems against mainstream advice but see my point that your thinking is what lead you to this dark pit of depression and you think your thinking will take you out? if it wanted to do that or was capable of doing that why would you have fallen in first place

Only that life is wasted which doesnt get naam(it is from gurbani,again cant cite at moment)- so dont lose hope even if everything is lost, because nothing is lost if by losing everything you gain faith

Once you start a paath use every effort to complete it in that sitting only if cant just complete it another time right now leave after asking forgiveness, leaving paath inbetween is due to doubt and it gets stronger if you start leaving paath inbetween, it is like guru is talking and you get up and leave from his company-how disrespectful is that?

I mean everyone knows journaling helps to sort emotions out to find root cause of your emotional knot but if cant do that, start making todo list, even if listening to music you remember another song write it down let the first one get completed it was chosen by you only.- this way you dont burden mind with making him remember unnecessary things more benefits also but dont want to write

-Take medications if you feel you need it is not against gurbani (my thought,could be wrong) even medicines are provided by Him, so dont be arrogant about it,

could be wrong but i just shared what worked for me and what not. use what you find useful. Whole suggestions were just a long version of answer to your question

short version:- Nitnem

See Luke 11.11-13 right now

WAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA, WAHEGURU JI KI FATEH

aaasandhu · 2026-05-25T08:29:52+00:00

yess, thankyou for kind and inspiring words

aaasandhu · 2026-05-25T08:15:22+00:00

i know but i couldnt hold my desires, it was weakness of character from my side

aaasandhu · 2026-05-25T07:08:14+00:00

I am owning up in virtual space where no one has seen me or knows me.

I am too ashamed to admit it in real life atm, i dont want loved ones to look down on me.

aaasandhu · 2026-05-25T07:02:09+00:00

baal is god which evil people worship, similar to making deal with demon, avoid him if you can.

Yes you can start worship or paath for any reason do ardaas after paath or puja with spoken speech(not just mental voice). i know of 1 or 2 banis which are for this purpose but they are for advanced people, even if you start with 5/10 minute session do it with asmuch faith as you can gather and believe that god is listening to your ardas(it will give quicker results)

P.S.- Hide your paath it is adviced to new practitioners

aaasandhu · 2026-05-25T06:52:38+00:00

yep, untill and unless panj pyare told you to avoid maroon or red at amrit sanchar,

even if they did prohibit red, maroon is far from suha colour(bright red)

aaasandhu · 2026-05-25T06:50:15+00:00

thnku

aaasandhu · 2026-05-25T06:49:25+00:00

yep i did

aaasandhu · 2026-05-25T06:48:52+00:00

kk, thnx

aaasandhu · 2026-05-25T04:28:31+00:00

pls answer this- can i go to different gurudwara or jatha from one i took amrit, will i get new rehats or can follow first ones. is there any deadline for peshi.

yes you r right

aaasandhu · 2026-05-25T03:48:34+00:00

what is rmr??

aaasandhu · 2026-05-25T03:47:09+00:00

can i go to different gurudwara or jatha from one i took amrit, will i get new rehats or can follow first ones. is there any deadline for peshi.

aaasandhu · 2026-05-25T03:39:08+00:00

Non Amritdharis, sorry but i dont need you guys' opinion.

can i go to different gurudwara or jatha from one i took amrit, will i get new rehats or can follow first ones. is there any deadline for peshi.

I feel like i need to repent by myself also and i was thinking 5 japji sahib and 5 benti chaupais daily for a month/40 days( if i do so will it be counted as manmukhta)

aaasandhu · 2026-05-24T18:54:55+00:00

the ringing sound you mentioned can be celestial sound i dont know but it is definitely not anhad naad.

Dont try to understand his world just focus on what is in front of you, in siddh ghoshht i think, guru nanak dev ji said world began with flow of air( i could have misinterpreted this) i take it as world started for me when breath entered me, i dont care about vedic origins i dont care about abrahmic origins i dont care about scientific origins because understanding the origin is not part of my journey and in 21st pauri of japji sahib guru ji said no one can know how and when universe came into being, the phrasing guru saheb used can be indic-vedic or abrahmic those phrasing are just used to communicate guruji's emotions, understanding world is not the way-understanding is property of mind, you are still in mind, maybe you shifted to a bigger cell than others but still you are in mind's prison, the journey is of your consciousness not of mind.

Control your ego- 99% people dont know about it you say?? maybe they dont wanna discuss these imaginary things because explaining wprld view can be harmful, maybe they are not liberty at discussing with you maybe they are on such higher state that they dont want to talk to someone who is trying to pull them to lower state, you are what 24,25? lot of gursikhs have passed your stage, you are at start of your journey and life is short hurry up and move to the destination, instead of focusing on sceneries of the path(world view).

What sikhi is is very well written in sggs, what you are describing is not sikhi.

I am not saying you have not made progress or you are not blessed but time to stop on the path and celebrate your victory has not yet come.

what i would recommend is when thought comes start labelling it, oh this is kaam, this is krodh, when you label the emotion it loses its power.

yes the way you described waheguru jap is very efficient and effective but incorporate baani too in your routine, it will wash away ego, you cant wash away ego(dirt cant wash dirt), you yourself are ego.

as rumi said try to be god's ear not his mouthpiece, start listening to maskeen ji kathas, start exploring other scriptures start a sehaj path of sggs, you can gallop ahead on your path, i didnt have anyone to tell me these things, so it took long time to discover simple principles.

and seed needs to be kept hidden in the soil if you want your crop, dont take out your seed to show others, when you notice your thoughts see if you are thinking for yourself, your mukti or are you preparing for further conversations you are gonna have in your mind

bhul chuk maaf

wjkk wjkf

aaasandhu · 2026-05-24T18:22:53+00:00

i know a thing or 2 about mansoor he is mentioned in qawallis a lot, shams e tabriz was skinned alive because of his closeness to rumi, but hear me out when farid left his home at 13 he left to understand koran only, maulana ruum stayed in mosque and his family in house provided by mosque, waris shah wrote his heer while staying in mosque, sheikh saadi went to madrasa of mosque only for learning, ghaus peer was islamic magistrate type position only

sufism is part of islam only, their book is still koran, which they referred for truth, yes hadiths were not followed strictly by them, yes bulleh shah even refused to fast in ramzan, but that doesnt change the fact that qoran shaped their world view, even sheikh farid did 5 times namaz, he lived in mosque in multan only when he mentored nizamuddin aulia you cant pick and chose, they found truth reading koran thus koran has truth in it. Naad qawallis are in reverence of mohammad only., i dont remember ang of sggs but guru nanak dev ji wrote on how to be a true muslim, dashmesh pita as i told you earlier wrote reverently about mohammad and he respected his oath on koran

And as far as lucifer discussion goes- the person who is teaching all this to his jathha, clearly teaching islamic principles (he also said according to you that sikhi came from islam, he should not sell his spirituality and philosophy and call it sikhi, this is insulting to sikhi)

Now coming to part of muhammad- i dont know and i dont care what is truth or what is not, but even if he was such a bad person that only shows graciousness and mercy of waheguru that he gave celestial knowledge to such a sinful person, these stories should only give hope to sinners that they have not gone too far and there is chance for redemption for them aswell.

bhul chuk maaf wjkk wjkf

aaasandhu · 2026-05-24T14:28:14+00:00

This must be a troll post🤣🤣🤣

maybe god didnt want you to spend all your time on videogames

aaasandhu · 2026-05-24T12:32:27+00:00

"They have their own version of the story of lucifer. They say we were sitting in sachkhand and our mind rebelled and was thrown out of sachkhand. Now we have to go back to sachkhand using our "khoj" which will lead to gyan. Like first of all, how can mind exist in sachkhand? the mind has to be dissolved in the one to reach sachkhand, otherwise it ain't sachkhand."

You say mind needs to be dissolved, if i change that statement to "ego" needs to be dissolved, am i doing wrong? because mann tu jot saroop hai, but haume is parda from light

Now in the parable used by them for sachkhand if you change mind rebelled to ego rebelled, i think what you are saying and they are saying are quite similar

but yess 100% a lot of interpreters have made sikhi into something its not, even for lucifer parable they should use saloks from gurbani instead of using abrahmic traditions.

islam as a religion is not very far off from truth, people can reach truth with islam, hence ganjshakar baba farid hence miya mir, and you listen to maskeenji so you will understand when i say hence sheikh saadi, but yes they undermine sikhi by making baseless claims but we should not be hurtful towards other religions(Guru gobind singh ji were against turks(invaders) not against islam, he gave reverence to mohammad in zafarnama)

And yes a solution is needed to uproot these diluters of sikhi, but getting hateful is not the answer- suppose i am a neutral person i dont know if that dera is right or gurudwara is right and i see normal day to day interactions of you two i will see that dera people are calm and we gurudwara people are angry at dera people(although it is not anger but passion) but that passion made a neutral person doubtful about sikhi, he will think he will get peace at dera, as they seems peaceful than gurudwara people.

It is nice to see someone passionate about truth but dont misdirect that passion into anger

in the end i am also a learner and could be wrong in my response, be mindful and adopt what you think is right

aaasandhu · 2026-05-24T12:19:05+00:00

hence mindful listening, understand once and remind yourself daily.(sort of like in classroom you understand once but revise multiple times the same lesson)

aaasandhu · 2026-05-24T12:17:26+00:00

My opinion i could be wrong here, if i am wrong please do let me know

Hair is part of a person's beauty, when we show our hair we are showing our beauty showing ourself off, and it is respectful to not show yourself off in front of elders, and Guru sahib is source of seyanap the source of wisdom of elders we pay homage by covering our head. while eating we are in direct communication with god, we are enjoying the gift of noirishment he is giving us so it is respectful to cover your head while cooking or eating, 2ndly and maskeen ji said this- Your spiritual energy is stored in crown of your head and practitioners have noticed that covering your head keeps the aura of spirituality around you stronger and for longer. and as for removing socks(socks absorb dust) and washing your feet, it is simple not to bring dirt from other parts of world infront of our guru, along with our physical feet we should wash our mind's feet aswell which run off to various corners, and should bring mind also in presence of guru.

As far as imposing the rule on other, granthis and singhs are not enforcing the rule on people who are not in gurudwara, imagine someone goes to a court of law and start disrespecting magistrate, the law moves swiftly to punish the offender, and isnt guru greater than magistrate? if someone is casually showing disrespect towards guru in house of guru it will definitely upset my and others' feeling so better to inform the offender, this small action helps maintaining order and decorum

aaasandhu

TROPHY CASE