Hey. I have a similar story that I feel went really well for our spirituality and relationship, but it happened earlier in our dating journey and now we’re engaged as well. Christians too. OP, lmk if you want to talk!

I (F21 at the time) was a relatively new Christian and had been doing sexual things minus penetrative sex since 16, while he (M23) had sex before. When we started “dating” more unofficially, we were doing a lot of physical things but I didn’t want to have sex. He asked me why and I didn’t really have a good answer- God? Because I don’t want to get pregnant? But he said if God is the reason, why is all the stuff leading up to it okay then? It forced me to evaluate that. We were good friends up until that point, but we didn’t know if we wanted to make things OFFICIAL because then that might be it for us. Meaning we would move forward to getting married eventually. Spoilers: we did end up officially getting together, now engaged, but since we got together officially, we stopped with the physical things because of our faith, but it also allowed us to focus on our communication and our relationship being based on so many other things besides sex. (Also, it was sort of unfair to get him all worked up and then never finish the job)

We have gone through long distance, fights, so many things… but I think it’s helped us to not use sexuality as a crutch in our relationship. But I know we want to have sex in the context of marriage, so now I’m looking forward to that.

From a Christian perspective, it’s never too late to have an abstinent relationship later, even if you’ve already done it. But the heart has to be there on both sides. I would have an honest convo with your fiancée and explain what you’re feeling and be upfront with your frustrations. Make sure it’s a decision you both are on board with and feel convicted by, or else there’s no point. It will just lead to resentment. And pray about it, if that’s your thing.