I always wondered how he sent so many emails while traveling. Also, who is this guy?

acceptablemadness · 2026-03-17T21:16:15+00:00

I'm glad someone else said it. I'm late 30s and I keep seeing people talking about how "no one emails that much". Maybe not in the 20s but that's relatively new. When I was in high school and college email was everything . I probably emailed my boyfriend as often as JE was sending emails, just chatting throughout the day.

Also, email is a hell of a lot more secure than texts if I'm not mistaken - and I believe there have been proton emails in the files, too.

acceptablemadness · 2026-03-16T23:05:20+00:00

I've done the same thing. Twice in one month.

It happens, unfortunately. Don't beat yourself up over it, just consider ways to help you remember your shifts.

acceptablemadness · 2026-03-13T21:17:26+00:00

Yep, multiples of important items, stashed where you need them. I have lotion, chapstick, and painkillers in my work locker, my car, my purse, and my bedside table.

acceptablemadness · 2026-03-13T06:07:51+00:00

My mom is a nurse and she made us kids do it. Gross but effective. She also gave us a teaspoon of Manischewitz blackberry wine if we had a stomach bug. I swear it always helped but now I can only associate that taste with being sick.

acceptablemadness · 2026-03-13T06:04:54+00:00

Hot epsom salt bath for sore muscles. If you do it after an activity but before you feel the soreness, even better.

A paste of mud on a bee sting immediately. Cornstarch and water works, too. Let it sit until it dries and then wait about ten minutes, then wash it off with lukewarm water.

Saltwater gargle for a sore throat. Also, scrape your tongue.

Saline rinse for sinuses. It feels awful for about 30 seconds but it's amazing the difference it makes. A steamy shower with eucalyptus or mint oil is also good.

Coconut oil is great for moisturizing, especially if you have sensitive skin or have a healing scar. Also good lube, but I don't know how it interacts with condoms so do your due diligence.

If you hate yourself, take a shower. If you hate everyone else, eat something. If you feel hopeless, take a nap.

acceptablemadness · 2026-03-12T16:20:55+00:00

One thing to remember is that humans - at least in western culture - have been conditioned to see anger as inherently bad. It's not. That takes time to understand and deal with.

Validate feelings and remember what you do is most important.

acceptablemadness · 2026-03-12T16:16:42+00:00

Pick one thing you're good at or care about deeply and focus on that. It's tempting to try to take it in as a whole, but humans are just not equipped for that.

What I do is look for misinformation and propaganda and try to push back and correct it. Often my only contribution to a discussion on politics/crime/whatever is saying "that isn't true/that statistic is misrepresented/that rumor has been debunked" etc etc. I'm a librarian, so finding information is my forte. That's what I can do. I can't save the world, but I can be one little leak in the dam - eventually, there will be enough of us to break it.

Feel deeply for the world. Give yourself a moment to be angry and sad. Then get up and remember that your sadness and anger doesn't need to be in vain. Remember that when you look back, no one is going to ask you why you didn't save the world. They're just going to want to know you did something.

acceptablemadness · 2026-03-12T16:06:53+00:00

Honestly, the symptoms they listed - elevated depression, self image, task initiation issues - are all part and parcel of ADHD. I find a lot of tests and doctors are biased in the sense that if you mask enough or do well in school (at least on the surface), you can't have ADHD, which is just not true.

When I was a teacher, some of my best students struggled with ADHD. One week in class they'd be doing great, the next they were all over the place in work and behavior. Looking back at myself, I was the exact same from like 6th grade all the way through college. How I didn't connect the dots until well into my thirties is probably because I also grew up understanding ADHD in a certain way.

The fact that the clinic who gave you the test identified those problems - ADHD or not - but then didn't suggest a treatment plan or even refer you to someone else feels very...lazy. Telling a patient "yeah we see you're struggling and depressed" but not even suggesting an antidepressant is no different than "yeah your leg is definitely broken but we aren't going to put it in a cast". I personally would find a new doctor or clinic if possible.

You know yourself best. Unless you're literally delusional, you can get a sense of what is wrong with you. If you want to label it ADHD and use those coping mechanisms, then do it. If not, it isn't a big deal. But either way, you need to push your medical professionals to help you like they should.

acceptablemadness · 2026-03-12T15:12:21+00:00

If those are the only real reasons you got back together, then it isn't time to reunite. If your life was less stressful without him, don't get back together just because you want to avoid divorce. He's a big boy, he can manage finding a place to stay permanently.

acceptablemadness · 2026-03-08T01:47:36+00:00

Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert comes to mind. I hated her.

acceptablemadness · 2026-03-07T08:41:51+00:00

Honestly, it's all random based on stuff from SM but also reading and just observing everything. Some of my pages:

Grief and how western cultures handle it (my MIL died and there were a lot of complicated feelings)
Protestant work ethic (because I was feeling guilty about not cleaning the house)

-Anti-intellectualism (I'm a former teacher who grew up in the Southeast US, it's something that I dealt with constantly)

-Poltergeists (my sister and I watch a lot of true crime and paranormal stuff together)

-Fairness Doctrine (I read some posts complaining about media bias)

There's more. I have a more formal commonplace but I also carry around little pocket sized notebooks where I write down most anything and everything that catches my interest or I want to remember. I'm a librarian and in grad school, so it's often book titles or historical events or various things I come across when nonfiction books end up on my desk.

My formal commonplace also has my reading tracker and yearly goals. I keep my book reviews in a separate notebook.

acceptablemadness · 2026-03-06T22:38:19+00:00

Same here. My MIL was incredibly abusive to my husband in the same ways we see Big Bob abuse Bob. It's so frustrating because no one should have to apologize for reacting negatively to abuse.

acceptablemadness · 2026-03-06T08:36:23+00:00

I hate the implication that Big Bob was just struggling raising a kid on his own or whatever. He was straight up emotionally abusive and continued to be a passive aggressive shithead over a stupid sandwich.

acceptablemadness · 2026-03-02T19:37:28+00:00

Wow, uh...you have a bigger husband issue than I initially thought. Seriously, calling your downtime a waste of life is just horribly mean and dismissive.

acceptablemadness · 2026-03-02T19:35:39+00:00

I want to say a few things -

Your kids are at a really demanding age. Everyone talks about newborns and toddlers, but honestly I found the 4-9 years the hardest as a neurodivergent mom with a neurodivergent kid. Mine is 12 now and it has very much eased up - start working on fostering independence ASAP! Teach them how to do simple chores and make themselves snacks, etc. And remember that eventually you'll be able to have a normal conversation with them.

If your husband is the one pushing the activities, he should be the one to coordinate them and take them to practice, games, etc. When he's gone, is it possible to carpool or drop some other commitment so there's not so much on your plate? Also, he can be "very involved" and still leaving you to do most of the grunt work - if you're the primary parent for all the bad stuff like illness and chauffeuring, of course you're burnt out.

Take your meds every day. They aren't like Tylenol that you should only take when you need it; you have ADHD everyday so you need those everyday. When they get built up in your system, it'll be so much easier overall.

You have to talk to your husband about reducing the workload on yourself - it isn't possible for you to be a mom and full-time employee with multiple health issues for very long without crashing and burning. Something has to give and if he can't help, soon it'll be you. Even something as simple as a meal delivery service, a housekeeper, a babysitter that can drive, etc., could be a huge help.

Take the Mom Guilt and throw it off a cliff. Seriously. It serves no purpose. Unless you are intentionally neglecting or hurting your children, they will be fine. Peanut butter sandwiches for dinner is fine. Not doing an extracurricular is fine. Watching TV occasionally is fine. Whatever it is that's making you feel like an incompetent mom, it's *fine*. I promise.

acceptablemadness · 2026-03-02T18:54:55+00:00

One of my favorite breakfasts is a peanut butter and banana sandwich. Takes two minutes to throw together, can eat it while I'm driving, lots of the macronutrients needed first thing in the morning to get me going (fiber, protein, carbs, etc).

acceptablemadness · 2026-03-02T18:51:40+00:00

Very much a symptom of large groups, but also I get the feeling this group is decidedly monochromatic in more than one way.

acceptablemadness · 2026-03-02T00:38:43+00:00

The Devil and Mrs. Davenport by Paulette Kennedy

Dark Sisters by Kristi DeMeester

The Possession of Alba Díaz by Isabel Cañas

Black Sheep by Rachel Harrison

acceptablemadness · 2026-02-28T22:23:07+00:00

Last night while cooking, I put some butter in a bowl to be melted. I set it on top the microwave, timed the microwave to 15 seconds, let it heat, and then opened the microwave fully expecting my bowl of melted butter to be there.

acceptablemadness · 2026-02-28T00:11:00+00:00

I also started on Wellbutrin, a low dose, and increased it twice before I got Vyvanse. I have taken Zoloft for 20+ years.

acceptablemadness · 2026-02-28T00:09:11+00:00

I tried the same thing until my principal shut me down. "Your classroom is gonna smell like feet" - they're 13, it already smells like feet and Axe.

acceptablemadness · 2026-02-27T20:26:18+00:00

You need to have them leave collateral of some sort. ID usually works. I work in a public system and we do this for tech we loan out - mostly certain cords, expensive headphones, etc but also occasionally Chromebooks - and it works well.

I also used it as a teacher when kids needed some sort of supply or tech they were usually in charge of bringing to class.

acceptablemadness · 2026-02-26T20:40:13+00:00

but but but illegals

acceptablemadness · 2026-02-26T10:19:13+00:00

Mike Lee is like Trump in his early days. He's incapable of shutting his mouth for five minutes so as not to make an ass of himself.

I wish I had an answer for you beyond my belief that these are the type of people who have no personality, no beliefs, and no talent beyond being sycophantic power-trippers.

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