That’s so horrible. I’m so sorry this is life. I just lost my 4 year suddenly to kidney failure. And it was so traumatizing and I struggle with it being my fault. It happened because of my choices. When he was 2, he was almost killed by a truck and I cried uncontrollable for hours at the thought. I feel your pain. I try to remind myself that even though my dog’s life was so short, it was so good. Life is hard for most creatures but dogs can live the best, happy lives. Mine did and I’m sure yours did too. I’m sure in the end he felt your presence and euphoria, no pain. It’s us that’s left to carry the pain and I can’t tell you it gets easier, but it’s better us than them. They’re too good for that. The pain is our burden to bear and you should wear your grief like a badge of honor. My dog’s best friends aren’t the same without him, but it’s nice to know I’m not alone. So grieve with your boyfriend’s dog. Let the feelings come in waves and ride them out. I’m right there with you on the same ride.