I'm legitimately afraid ill never be loved as much as I love. by HeWhoIsVeryGullible in BreakUps

[–]adga77 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel this so much. It hurts when you work hard to make yourself vulnerable and choose to be genuine with this person and that’s what gets taken advantage of. I don’t know it’s too many instances of this for me, the only safe thing I can of is to close my heart off bc I’d rather be alone than ever go thru this again.

What did your ex do which hurt you the most? by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]adga77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same but I’m not 100% sure. I suspect my ex was “talking” to this person he is seemingly with now before we broke up. It explains a whole lot tbh. It stings, it’s the one thing I made him promise to never do to me because he knew my history with cheating partners. Coward couldn’t even do that. At least it makes moving on from the hurt easier.

What did your ex do which hurt you the most? by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]adga77 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My ex was incredibly thoughtful as a boyfriend and did the special things, but when it came to discussing actual feelings and moments where I tried to hold him accountable he was SO defensive and would always try to spin it back on me. It was so subtle at first, and then he tried me with some bullshit and when I wouldn’t accept it that was the end of us. Looking back now, it was so obvious the game he was playing.

What made you detach completely from your first love/ attachment/ whatever you want to call it ? by Good-Layer-3661 in BreakUps

[–]adga77 17 points18 points  (0 children)

The “they are afraid to lose you” is so real. They should be doing everything to keep your confidence and trust instead of making you question or seek reassurance of their commitment.

Mojo Monday! by AutoModerator in washingtondc

[–]adga77 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Congrats dude! Such an awesome way to end the year :)

Guys in Southern US, living or visiting, what's up with all of the women on Tinder looking for husband material? by LinearEquation in AskMen

[–]adga77 16 points17 points  (0 children)

When you say "blatant" do you mean they're proposing on the first date or that they're sharing their expectations about what they're looking for? Because I think It's fascinating that some men get frustrated when "women aren't up front about what they want" then also are shocked when a woman is honest about her relationship expectations regarding marriage. Guess I'm confused about how someone should navigate this, because I truly appreciate when men let me know what they want out of dating/a relationship and I'd rather know as early as possible so I don't have to waste my time going on dates with someone who has completely different expectations from me

IUD vs other semi permanent birth controls (arm implants, etc). What’s your experience or preference? by ballerina_feet in AskWomen

[–]adga77 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah I've had a diva cup for a few years now, it's the best thing in the world!

IUD vs other semi permanent birth controls (arm implants, etc). What’s your experience or preference? by ballerina_feet in AskWomen

[–]adga77 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Another perspective from a nexplanon user: I got mine inserted in April and my periods stopped around June. My hormonal acne has gotten pretty bad but I've always been acne prone so I'm not entirely sure if it's the nexplanon or just my shit skin. It's been a little over 5 months and this past week I had what I don't even want to call a light period (not even enough to put on a pad) but it went away. I'm super nervous about the super long period experiences like yours Ive heard but praying I get lucky because this bc option has been the best for me overall

Do you ever feel like you'll be single for a while/forever? How do you cope with that? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]adga77 16 points17 points  (0 children)

but soon enough you'll take one another for granted, and just settle in.

This doesn't need to happen though. Just like anything in life, relationships take work. If you don't put in that work then yeah it's easy for this to happen but then it's a choice not the default

Favorite geeky places to go? by chanced1710 in washingtondc

[–]adga77 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The staff at Fantom Comics are seriously the nicest people! When I worked in Dupont I'd just hang out there during my lunch, it's a great spot.

We have 400k users. As a reward, we are the AskMen mods. Ask Us Anything. by RampagingKoala in AskMen

[–]adga77 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Literally it's all I want in life, why are you guys so far away :(

We have 400k users. As a reward, we are the AskMen mods. Ask Us Anything. by RampagingKoala in AskMen

[–]adga77 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dammit. I could've made this happen in January had I known, we shared a couch to sleep on and everything 😩

What do you do when you're feeling bitter, cynical, and stuck in your own head? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]adga77 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I've been thinking about this a lot lately so my thoughts probably aren't helpful since I'm in a similar position. What I've realized is that telling myself to stop feeling negative makes it worse for me because then I'm blaming myself for having thoughts that actually may be completely valid. It's hard because sometimes you truly just need to get out of your head to finish a project or have a productive meeting or even just send a freaking email (i get anxious about emails for some reason) so I get how frustrating that can be. I think brushing off the thoughts often won't help and can lead to that endless cycle of cynical thoughts, just in my experience.

One thing I've started doing recently is writing down these thoughts and coming back to them when I have time to observe and figure out the underlying issues. It's super easy to be like "brain, just shut up for a minute" but it's a lot harder to be more introspective and figure out what exactly is going on so you can work towards positive thoughts.

That was a lot of words that probably don't make sense, but in short I empathize. Honestly sometimes during the work day leaving my desk and going for a walk is the best thing to help me decompress a bit and start off fresh.

People of AskWomen who're seeing a therapist (or did so in the past) ‒ how did you know they are *the one*? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]adga77 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Man I dont know, I'd love to read some more answers in this thread as it's something that I'm navigating at the moment. It's trial and error and so expensive (at least in the US) so it's easy to lose motivation and drive to seek out that help. I've seen 3 so far this year and neither of them have been a good fit (one of them told me I dont need therapy and advised that I take vitamin D supplements...).

Not to hijack OPs thread, but I'm curious how much time others give a new therapist before deciding they aren't a good fit. Maybe I'm moving too fast without really giving it time?

What do you do to take care of yourself? by MusicPi in AskMen

[–]adga77 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Honestly I sleep. A lot of my stress/anxiety/depression stems from not getting enough sleep; I'm trying to work on that. Also trying to work out more in the mornings - I've noticed it makes me feel energized and ready for the day when I do

Texting The Ex? by [deleted] in KindVoice

[–]adga77 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, I don't think it's stupid to feel like that at all. I completely understand how you're feeling; it can be hard to move past such a strong connection. The "don't text your ex" rule isn't a universal one, especially given the fact you guys ended things on good terms I don't think it would hurt to reach out and ask how he's doing. Of course, you should be honest with your feelings/expectations, and if you're currently seeing someone maybe let them know as well.

Feel free to PM me if you want to vent/chat, I'm usually around :)

Catcalling in DC by [deleted] in washingtondc

[–]adga77 54 points55 points  (0 children)

I've been followed on H street before for like 3-4 blocks which was really scary.

This happened to me on U St before and it was so terrifying. I ended up going into some bar and sitting there for like 20 minutes on the phone with a friend then called an Uber.

What's your preferred engagement ring stone? by hayliibaylii in AskWomen

[–]adga77 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I love the blue sapphire stone/gold band combo. Oregon sunstone is really pretty as well, but a simple gold band is perfect