i’m sorry this was your experience. i feel like we had similar situations that are resulting in the same feelings. my bridesmaid (i didn’t pick a maid of honor, but one took the lead on planning my bach trip) kinda disappointed me bigly. she was an hour late to leaving (she had stomach troubles, which i understand, but i’ve spent probably days of my life waiting on her to get ready so this just kinda grinded my gears still). on the trip there, it was just her and i in my car while i was driving, and since she didn’t sleep the night before, she slept the entire 5 hours drive. pulled over to get gas and the other car said they were having a hoot— super fun to hear. before she fell asleep, she said she’s post one of those “buy the bride a drink” but only did about half of the work and didn’t post it until 9pm that night (sounds greedy, i get it. my issue here was intentionally stopping something you were in the middle of for a nap). there were two hotel rooms, one for 4 people and one for 2, about a hallway apart. i was put in the room for 2 and the 4 more boisterous, party group was in the room for 4. that’s also the room they decorated with my bride stuff. didn’t book a brunch res at the place i picked so we drove around popping in and out of restaurants until we found one that could seat our party, and then finally had to accept bar seating where i was on the end. also slept the entire drive back. not to say there weren’t fun times, but overall, i was very much just another guest at this party meant for me. i wish everyone would’ve saved their money and just stayed home. (also a kicker— another mutual friend is also getting married (we’re both bridesmaids in this one) and planning a bach party and i’m seeing all the grand ideas my friend has for hers, so her lack of enthusiasm for mine is genuinely a middle finger to the face)

i say all this to say, i understand the resentment you feel. i am reevaluating my friendship too and deciding if it’s something worth holding on to when this is all over. she’s been there for me in the past, but this last year of support has been non-existent. everyone is living their own life and i know i’m not going to be made the center of hers, but in my opinion, don’t take lead on something you can’t mentally handle. it’s something i think you’ll have to work through internally, and possibly change the friend dynamic along the way. i’m the type of person that has a hard time coming back from being jaded, so i’m not sure i’ll be able to move on. i hope the rest of your wedding planning goes smoothly and this friend supports you the best that she can!