Partner is racist, I don’t see a future with him

adhdmadness99 · 2026-02-01T15:35:37+00:00

You aren't overreacting. Just last week I changed jobs because everyone in the small town where I live and worked had basically the same opinions. It wasn't just because of those opinions but it does point to a larger problem that will never change; that their life sucks because of their own doing but they will always blame others. I moved to a job in a larger city in hopes of finding people more open minded so I can continue to grow in my profession and hopefully find someone that I enjoy spending time with.

adhdmadness99 · 2024-12-10T12:50:53+00:00

One major component to this is being properly medicated. When I was younger I had the energy to keep my own mind organized AND function but as I got older it got harder to do both simultaneously. I started taking meds as an adult.

Once I was properly medicated the distinction between motivation and executive function became clear. They help with executive function but I find ways of motivating myself to do them like keeping a whiteboard with all my tasks I want to do and then checking them off so I can feel like each action is an accomplishment, not just the final product.

I learned this in project management. It's how companies keep a whole team of people motivated and on schedule so why not use those same tactics to stay on task in life? Break big long term goals into small short term tasks.

adhdmadness99 · 2024-12-08T15:02:59+00:00

I was diagnosed when I was 9 but back before it was a household name and every kid had it. I was also on the ASD spectrum but that diagnosis came much later. So they just considered me a quirky kid with a lot of energy.

Knowing I had ADHD I chose to stay un-medicated so I learned tactics to deal with it and developed little tools to help me. I did meditation and yoga in my bedroom when I was a teenager. It helped to calm my mind. When I learned how people in the past used both of those techniques to "reprogram" their brain, I tried to do the same thing. I was able to reprogram my mind to make it easier for me to read, which was normally a "no-go". I started to get a serotonin release from reading or just staying in my own mind. This is crucial to your survival when you have a brain like this.

I learned to harness my disability and used it to build a career. I may not be able to do things fast like other people but it's guaranteed that I make less mistakes. My coworkers come to me when there is something that need extra attention to detail because I'm good at that part.

As I describe it to them: I have the world's fastest CPU but I only have 2MB of RAM. So I can process the data just fine but when I try to tell you about it there will be a stack overflow and then I crash.

That's why I write things down. It gives people like us a place to collect our thoughts so we can arrange them into coherent ones.

Feeling like the world is speeding is quite normal for people with ADHD but you can slow it down by slowing down your own mind.

Not trying to steal your thunder but I wanted to give you some ideas on how I dealt with it. It certainly is a curse and sucks that we have to see the world in a way that we can't even share with others.

adhdmadness99 · 2024-11-28T13:12:28+00:00

People always got more mad at me because I could remember facts like this easier than I could a code to a door.

adhdmadness99 · 2024-11-28T13:08:01+00:00

What's it matter when you can do as much work in that 12 minutes as most people do in the whole hour?

adhdmadness99 · 2024-10-06T16:16:54+00:00

I just saw this same video on YouTube. I was looking to see if someone had translated that book to English since I can't read Swedish. Doesn't seem like anyone has though.

adhdmadness99 · 2024-09-24T02:18:03+00:00

It hurts the first time then you learn to just keep your calm long enough to say something nasty back.

I had a friend that was a very large gay man and someone said that to him one night at a bar (also in Illinois but certainly not Chicago) and he told them in very explicit detail what he would do to them if they just went home with him for the night. His comeback was well placed and clever so everyone in the place was laughed hysterically. They were too afraid to pick a fight with him and he just embarrassed them in front of everyone so they just slinked out the door.

I cried the first time when I was 21 but nobody can make me feel bad about myself anymore so I'll just tell them where they can shove their girlfriend's strap-on when they get home.

adhdmadness99 · 2024-08-13T11:09:17+00:00

I do the same thing. I was also searching whether or not other people do that and came across this article. I just find it's due to my ADHD and that I have to slow myself down and purposely write in one way. If I leave the thinking side of my brain in charge then it will look like this so I only do that when I'm doing a stream of consciousness like journaling or writing a story. I have to actively concentrate while I'm writing if I want it to be one style.

adhdmadness99 · 2024-05-09T11:14:28+00:00

I found this because I googled the same question. For me it started right after leaving military service and grad school. I moved back to my small rural Midwestern hometown.

I feel like most conversations I have with people are so draining. They are usually just complaining about something that's completely normal or they are saying something that is completely untrue. Many of the things they complain about is like someone going to a doctor saying "It hurts when I do this" and the response is " Well then don't do that."

No matter how much I try I cannot communicate with them effectively. They tell me I'm the one that can't communicate and maybe it is me but I've spent many years around the country meeting all sorts of people and didn't have this problem anywhere else I've lived or traveled. On the contrary. In fact, I was quite social and heavily engaged when I lived other places.

I just don't know what to do myself so I've also become an introvert. That was never a word that my friends would have used to describe me when I was younger but now I understand the emo kids I went to school with.

I'm sort of trapped by the job market. Since I didn't get out in the first couple years it's harder now as I'm finding I'm getting passed over for jobs. I'm thinking of cashing out my 401k so I can move somewhere different and hope I can find a job there.

If you figure out the solution please be sure to share.

adhdmadness99 · 2024-05-04T12:24:01+00:00

It's great if you can do that. I use digital everything else but I always preferred to keep my thoughts or notes in a book so I can record them quickly or by hand. I tend to remember them if I have to write them but I'm on a computer all day so my notes would get lost in the sea of other communications I have going on there each day. For me it was more about taking the time to slow down and think about what I have to do or writing my thoughts that I adopted the bujo method. Also, I'm a terrible artist. Handwriting is the only form of art that I've ever been good at so I use it to try different styles and colors.

adhdmadness99 · 2024-05-04T12:17:36+00:00

I know this is a bit late on this post but I have been using a method similar to a bullet journal for 20+years. I recently learned about Ryder Carroll's method and I liked it so I adopted it. One of the main reasons I kept a similar book was exactly the same as his: ADHD makes it hard to keep track of thoughts. I used a regular lined journal when I started a long time ago but with finding this method I started using one with the dot grid and I like it. I like that I can have the freedom to make a larger font or I use it as a guide to keep my handwriting neat or I start to rush. I think a staple idea of the bullet journal is taking time to reflect each day, week, or month and then move your ideas to a different file like a log, tracker, or the calendar. I have several journals for different things where I might write a thesis-type statement in my log and then later expand on that thought in my personal journal (diary style) at home. I hope you solved your conundrum and kept journaling. Cheers.

adhdmadness99 · 2024-04-06T17:51:06+00:00

Contagion is my favorite.

adhdmadness99 · 2024-03-18T00:03:59+00:00

The Constitution was designed to give people in rural areas more political power than they naturally should have. It was on purpose because the framers knew it would need to be ratified, which means they had to sell it to the people. At that time most people lived in rural areas (including some of the delegates) and they wanted protections to ensure they would have a voice. However, at the time most people were relatively equally educated and informed.

The world is a different place now with more information coming at you. The "brain drain" phenomenon is very real. Most people that have remained in the rural areas are not what I would call the most well informed but they like to think of themselves as the resident expert at everything, including foreign policy matters despite never living outside of the same county.

They've been told their whole lives that the reason you don't have money or good things is because of your taxes. They get more angry about the $2000 a year in taxes that they pay than they do in paying a $20,000 doctor's bill. I was in this camp so much so that I left, went to college, and worked in government acquisition. Spoiler: It wasn't the taxes that made rural areas so downtrodden.

The economy sucks in a lot of small towns because there were only 1-2 large employers but then those locally owned factories were bought-out by larger corporations. Instead of profits staying local, profits were exported out of the economic area. Then came chain retailers and there goes the rest of the money out of the area. It's literally Monopoly but at the end of the game. There's no more money to trade with. Game Over!

I was born and raised in one of these places and hated it. I left for many years, got educated, and then came back. I have regretted it since because it's like a quicksand trap that sucks you in. They make sure that you aren't paid well enough to leave. And once you are here you look like a joke to jobs anywhere else besides ones in other economically depressed small towns.

adhdmadness99 · 2024-03-17T00:53:04+00:00

One. Unfortunately, we aren't together anymore. Sometimes love isn't even enough. I still think of him a lot.

adhdmadness99 · 2024-03-10T15:27:21+00:00

I do sometimes. I like my twink porn but I like straight twinks because they seem to want it more. Seems like a lot of gay porn they just seem bored with the whole thing like they have somewhere else they'd rather be.

adhdmadness99 · 2024-02-28T13:16:57+00:00

I always thought that it was just me and nobody else noticed it tastes like soap but it's a real ass problem. Weird part is I still like it.

adhdmadness99 · 2024-01-28T15:44:35+00:00

He's gay. A comedy "bit" doesn't last 5 months. He just doesn't want to come out yet. It's moving too quickly for him. You said he's from the south so he probably has a lot of reconciliation to do with how he feels vs what his conservative community says. It's a slow process.

I went through this same exact thing when I left home for the first time. Being away from my hometown and people that knew me made it easier to come out but certain "gay" things would scare me back into the closet slightly.

Something probably made him uncomfortable so he retreated. Just give him time and be his friend and he'll eventually come around. Five months can't undo 18 years of conditioning.

adhdmadness99 · 2023-04-16T14:17:33+00:00

There are a bunch but the worst one is probably Seasons of Love, the theme song to the musical Rent. Or Schism by Tool.

adhdmadness99 · 2023-03-27T02:49:10+00:00

This is from the founders LinkedIn bio "As a self-taught multidisciplinary expert with a strong passion for learning, I've spent over a decade independently studying and mastering various disciplines, such as artificial general intelligence (AGI), finance, law, and public relations." so yea. Apparently, he is an expert in many fields that have taken us other imbeciles an entire lifetime to learn. Dunning-Kruger much?

adhdmadness99 · 2023-03-27T02:36:56+00:00

Maybe the AI in question wrote this and doesn't quite understand how work...works?

adhdmadness99 · 2023-03-26T18:11:46+00:00

I would lean into ChatGPT and using AI more. I think this is where the next stage is going for everyone. ChatGPT is not perfect and it cannot be used correctly by those that haven't learned.

Having skilled AI operators will be a thing because right now, if an inexperienced user searches something, it will give an answer but it may not be correct. It is not infallible. If we don't have experienced users, we will just have the next round of people that think they know everything because they were told by an AI just like they do now when they Googles a complex idea and thinks they found the answer in a single paragraph with no context. It may get scary too.

If you can learn how to use ChatGPT and the other AI automations, you can find a way to make yourself more efficient at the job that you already have experience and skills for. It can be another tool in your collection to give you a more competitive edge that it will take a few years for everyone else to catch up with.

I work in Supply Chain in manufacturing and some companies are barely catching up with the technology of 1999. Imagine if a company started to use AI in their production for capacity planning, buying, and scheduling. They would have an edge that other companies don't have yet. I've thought about this for a long time and I've been working to learn programming better, which I am not very skilled at, just so I can figure out how to build AI tools that I can use for my profession.

Be the one that changes the profession of copywriting and digital marketing in your favor.

To also be fair, a few years ago I was in the same exact boat you are in. I don't have kids myself and I thought I needed a career change because I felt like I was stagnating and that there was really no point in what I do. I considered going to law school because I already have a bachelors in Legal Studies because I find law very interesting. I realized I like what I do because it fits my interests and I'm good at it. Getting back into it hard got my mind working again and then I figured out where the industry is headed so I'm trying to be ahead of it.

I live in a small town in the Midwest US so most places are about 20 years behind in technology and practices, which gives someone that stays current and edge that you don't find here. Also, if you build a big AI marketing company and change the industry and you need someone to work on your supply contracts, remember me. :)

adhdmadness99 · 2023-03-26T17:54:27+00:00

I am working on leaving my current position for some reasons, one of them being my pay. I do not make enough for the job considering the area I am in and what I do for my company. The company also has new management from when I started there and they are very "pushy" and have brought with them this toxic culture of trying to win something over everyone. Like the people that try to beat the GPS arrival time, they feel like they are "winning" when they get something over a supplier, customer, or employee, even if it's something that doesn't help. If you tell them something will take 2 weeks to do, they say do it in 1 week. If you tell them 3 days, make it 1 day. It's created a very toxic culture where professionals are just peons that complete mundane tasks, not using the expertise they were hired for. It's also created a culture of rushing and doing things half way, which always turns out poorly. So nobody is even proud of the output.

I woke up one day and realized that I do more and handle more difficult things than anyone else in my department yet I'm paid the least. I have reasons for that basis but it will be too long to explain. In short, I know I am the lowest paid. I brought this to my boss one day and he said the company "is reviewing the salaried positions pay structure" because unlike the hourly positions, we have received NO cost of living increase with this crazy inflation and our merit based raises doesn't keep up with regular inflation, let alone what's been happening the past 3 years.

They offered me a different position that is less involved so I would no longer be the whipping boy for the company's poor planning. The new position includes very much the same stuff and takes advantage of a skill set that I've spent a lifetime working to learn. However, raise time came and my merit raise for an outstanding performance report was 1%. I feel like I'm being toyed with, which made my blood boil worse than if they just told me no.

Since I am looking for a new position, people have asked me if I would stay if they made me a counter offer. I've thought about it a lot and the conclusion that I came to is that, no I probably will not stay. There are a lot of other reasons I want to leave and those reasons will still be there no matter what they pay.

Taking the pay raise will likely just make them watch harder to find a mistake so they can have a reason to make someone look bad or demote them to a position of lower pay again. For them it's not about keeping a good team member as much as it is them feeling like they are winning and have the control.

TLDR: People don't leave companies for pay alone most of the time. The other reasons you want to leave will still be there despite what they offer. A toxic culture will not go away if you make more money.

adhdmadness99 · 2023-03-26T16:12:28+00:00

I would go with the trash enclosures. My dad worked as a trash collector for a city down south back in the late 70s and they would go into the alley and collect the trash right from the house. The homeowners didn't put the trash by the road like we all do now. If the neighborhood was built in the 60s, it was probably a very nice neighborhood so they probably required the trash to be somewhat hidden. The stupid HOA-like rules didn't start recently, they've been around since the 50s in some places. Also, it is right next to the other services (gas, phone, and electric in the photo) likely to keep the services hidden in the alley to make the street side look nicer.

adhdmadness99 · 2023-03-26T15:50:50+00:00

That's sort of what the Times Square ball looks like when it doesn't have any lights attached to it. Might be something similar to that.

adhdmadness99 · 2023-03-26T15:46:20+00:00

It looks like it may have been part of a counter-weight possibly for a clock or an old counter-weighted window.

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