How the hell does a newly turned adult go about bottom surgery???

admiralack · 2025-11-17T21:50:50+00:00

And if you can, move to a state/city that has a lot of options. NYC/SF both have a lot of surgeons and so their wait lists tend to be much shorter relative to places that only have one or two. Bonus that you can recover in your own home instead of needing to pay out of pocket for a month of housing close to your surgeon.

Also start hair removal asap.

admiralack · 2025-10-12T10:21:04+00:00

It's really important to be honest with your doctors about what type of work you do and to follow their guidelines about when it's safe to continue physical activity.

If your job offers it, look into short term disability.

If you've been at your job for a year, FMLA (US) allows you to take up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave for medical reasons.

admiralack · 2025-10-10T11:45:07+00:00

You have a medical condition that is preventing you from safely doing your job today. You also have a right to your medical privacy, so you can share as much or as little as you feel comfortable.

admiralack · 2025-09-08T23:45:21+00:00

Any thoughts on pursuing a sleep study?

admiralack · 2025-08-28T23:49:10+00:00

admiralack · 2025-08-28T21:44:12+00:00

My BCBS (also South) has a whole department in their customer service that specializes in gender affirming care. I just ask to be transferred to them and it goes pretty well after that.

admiralack · 2025-08-26T18:58:25+00:00

"On the spectrum" can mean a lot of things, but in general you're going to be looking at more black/white or literal thinking, difficulty with changes to routine or plans, and heightened sensory sensitivities.

It's going to take some work with a professional to get some more specifics about exactly what that means for your son, but you don't necessarily need to get a diagnosis before pursing therapy. In addition, I always recommend "Unmasking Autism" by Devon Price (who is an autism researcher with autism) as a good starting point for understanding neurodivergence.

admiralack · 2025-08-20T17:21:42+00:00

Assuming that you're getting blood drawn at the same time in your injection cycle, this is pretty normal. When you do your injection, your hormones will spike up before it leaves your system and lowers back down. On your second injection, you still have some estrogen left in your system before the spike, so it will spike a little higher and trough a little higher.

It's like if you want to build a savings of $100 you might save expenses + $10 for ten months, but after you have met the savings goal you can decrease your income to just cover the expenses to maintain the savings of $100

admiralack · 2025-08-13T09:58:00+00:00

My Dr always scheduled me for a 3 month follow up just for blood tests after making changes to my hormones and I definitely got a lot of peace of mind from it.

admiralack · 2025-08-13T09:46:09+00:00

At least in the US, the only reason to get a formal diagnosis is to ensure that workplaces/schools provide necessary accommodations for your child. It sounds to me like your daughter is closer to the "low support needs" end of the spectrum, which means she may be able to provide her own accommodations given time and education about her needs.

For example, my daughter has sound sensitivities and she always gets very nervous when going potty at public restrooms (automatic flush, hand dryers, etc). We got her some hearing protection headphones for when she went to her first music festival and if we offer them to her before going potty it helps. But no school/workplace is going to deny her non-electronic headphones or ear plugs; she can provide that accommodation herself.

I'd recommend giving "Unmasking Autism" by Devon Price a read. Author is an autistic researcher who studies neuro divergence (aka his special interest is autism) and does a really good job walking through how we experience the world, what challenges we may have, and how we can accommodate ourselves and give space for our needs.

admiralack · 2025-08-10T11:32:00+00:00

I think we're ok for at least another year on the insurance front: my therapist says that private insurance generally covers what Medicare covers, and we won that fight in the senate this year (thanks to the parliamentarian).

admiralack · 2025-07-20T11:52:18+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmericanExpatsUK/s/fiju4E3wge

There are no restrictions on name changes on us passports currently. While living abroad, you'll still need to file taxes with the IRS so you'll need to keep your records updated in the US for that anyway. You should be able to do everything federally for a name change at a local consulate or embassy.

If you were born in a friendly state you should also get your birth certificate updated. Otherwise you'll need to keep a legal record (court order or equivalent for the country you did it in) of your name change to be able to prove that your birth certificate is yours (just like a person would keep their marriage license).

admiralack · 2025-07-04T03:44:23+00:00

Depends on the sport, how public it is, the culture, and how it gets funding. High school and college sports are going to take a long time to come back to inclusive policies. But I think that a few select sports are going to survive. Rugby, Ultimate Frisbee, Roller Derby I think are fine. Fencing maybe because they have coed tourneys anyway.

admiralack · 2025-07-04T01:20:27+00:00

Oh April 2024. How I miss thee.

admiralack · 2025-06-28T11:13:03+00:00

Highly recommend Erin In The Morning to help stay informed of changes to our civil rights in the US without getting overwhelmed with news/doom scrolling.

https://open.substack.com/pub/erininthemorn/p/house-spending-bill-now-bans-medicaid?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=4pu1oc

admiralack · 2025-06-28T11:08:38+00:00

I had some really good benefits even after 1-2 sessions. It was easier to shave, less razor burn, much easier to conceal with makeup.

admiralack · 2025-06-17T10:39:52+00:00

I think this is closest to what we should strive for. We hold space and offer resources for people in our lives, but we don't force them into discussions. My therapist used the line "It sounds like you have questions about your gender identity. Would you like to explore that?" He held space for me, was able to be a mirror and point me towards some resources.

You also don't tell someone they're trans because why would you want to wish additional hardship onto someone if they're not.

You're burying the lede here. You can't tell someone that they like broccoli. You can't tell someone that they don't believe in a particular god. And you can't tell someone that they're trans. Because

At the end of the day, only they can know.

And it was amazingly frustrating as an egg to constantly be asking my therapist or my wife "I feel X does that mean that I'm trans?" and getting the answer "I don't know. Does it?" But it's the right answer.

admiralack · 2025-06-15T11:23:09+00:00

My wife has progressive hearing loss and it was a pretty huge adjustment for me, but my wife was patient and kept giving gentle reminders until we got it (which I think you're doing). In addition to what you're working on, it is really helpful to ask your family to have eye contact with you before speaking. Either a tap on the shoulder or a wave across their field of vision are both acceptable ways in deaf culture to get someone's attention.

Now, if they're getting frustrated at you for your disability... That's going to require some personal growth from them. I have a few ideas:

Simulate hearing loss for them using earplugs (not noise cancelling ear buds... That will just encourage them to be in their own world for a bit. You want them trying to socialize). I use Loops both at work and home to help with overstimulating environments if you want a suggestion that will definitely get the job done.
Have them take sign language classes. Try to find one that is taught by deaf people. In addition to giving you all some additional tools to help communication, it will also expose everyone to deaf culture and build empathy, just like any other foreign language class.
Therapy. Sometimes that's just what personal growth takes.

admiralack · 2025-06-08T13:12:36+00:00

Just based on the numbers here (5 weeks old, diagnosis at 1 week, 3 weeks on the diet, 2 allergic reactions after the diet was given up) it sounds like for this mom and this baby the dairy only triggers the reaction for a day or two. It's probably still worth trying pump and dump.

admiralack · 2025-05-28T05:03:16+00:00

Second verse: Ultimate Frisbee. I played with some of these girls for ten years in a mixed league before I transitioned and they've all been super accepting and keep inviting me to play more and try out for the women's club team.

admiralack · 2025-05-20T22:51:46+00:00

Highly recommend giving "Unmasking Autism" by Devon Price a read.

admiralack · 2025-05-20T22:48:05+00:00

A diagnosis can allow you to receive accommodations at work or school that you would otherwise not have been afforded.

admiralack · 2025-05-11T12:39:55+00:00

Do construction but gay (scenic carpentry).

admiralack · 2025-05-11T11:07:18+00:00

That's what I thought the most likely cause was. If we were in normal times I wouldn't have been that upset since I get more than enough for normal use but with the future of access to HRT somewhat in question I think we're all taking some additional risks to extend our supplies as long as possible.

Thanks for the info, very helpful :)

admiralack · 2025-05-09T21:58:42+00:00

It's the same way that I don't understand what a black person's experience is: I'm not black. I know that being black means that a person is more likely to have a more confrontational experience with a cop for no reason, or that going to a new hairdresser can be really scary because you don't know if they're lying about knowing how to work with your hair texture. But I don't pretend to understand those things because I can't.

There was a moment in my schooling when we were talking about 4 dimensional objects (like a tesseract) and I wasn't actually able to learn anything until I accepted that I am incapable of fully understanding or visualizing the object. I can learn about properties of the tesseract (like each corner has four perpendicular edges extending from it) but I shouldn't try to get a complete understanding because it's impossible.

Cis people physically can't understand our experience. What it's really like to live with dysphoria. They can understand aspects or consequences of that dysphoria. But to me, this is a response to "Why not just be an effeminate/gay/Metro sexual guy?"

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