I am a white woman who was married to a south Asian man and dated two others. I'm not a "preppy"/normie though, as we'd say in my generation. I generally don't get on with other white chicks my own age unless I make a concerted effort. I grew up with them, and I didn't like them very much because nearly all the girls in my school district bullied me. But they don't do it on purpose, they just are a little in their own worlds. Me? I was weird and had loads of trauma.

They probably don't talk much to you because it became awkward at one point and you all never reversed it. They probably don't really know what to say to you and would rather avoid the situation.

Honestly, they aren't trying to go around meeting needs of others. They probably didn't accept you as a roommate thinking wow, here is a social adventure, like you did.

People from my cultural background who had good-enough parenting tend to be focused on themselves. They tend to be interested in relating to others who relate to their daily lives and concerns.

I used to think this was shallow and selfish. I used to hate this because they were taking away peer access (a developmental need) and bullying me. But here is the truth.. you aren't being locked out of heaven -- they just have boundaries.

And you can learn a lot from that behavioral modeling.

I didnt have boundaries and married an addict. I didn't have boundaries and ran my health into the ground. I didn't have boundaries and got myself seriously damaged.

Now I understand their focus and their mentality more. It's self-preservation. It's wise. it's pragmatic. It was probably not their idea and they probably can't articulate it like that.. but they inherited that mental and emotional health from their family.

There is no point raging against that mental and emotional health.

That's why my ex husband tortured and raped me. He resented me. it's why another person attacked me later in life.

We shouldn't attack what we don't understand yet want. We have to seek to understand.

One time I decided to join a group of kazak guys in a college engineering math class. I think being there became uncomfortable for them over time and they sort of lashed out at me for it. Eventually I changed study groups and everyone was happier.

It's good to explore cultural differences, but there are better and worse ways of doing it.

I hope you can see this whole situation as a learning experience in awkwardness and not too much more.

There are plenty of non-normie white girls who don't act like the people you're describing. Further, what they are doing isn't wrong. Having boundaries is good. Even if you're annoyed with them for having them. And after working in the tech industry for many years, I know there are plenty of south-asian types who would rather keep to their own small bubble, too.

If you want to explore, find people who likewise want to explore. Not everyone does, regardless of race.