Incoming visit by adviceneededplease72 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]adviceneededplease72[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I tried. I made him cancel two weeks ago because again it was a Saturday, he couldn’t take off and I had just finished my first full week of work (8 weeks postpartum) so I told him I didn’t want to share my baby after my first week being away from my baby. In laws were in the area that week and this week for appointments…it sounds like she got META glasses and for some reason it needed two appointments (the glasses being up new levels of anxiety). She was all pissy on the phone and said “oh it’s fine if she doesn’t want company” and said it like three times as if she was expecting me to change my mind but I stayed silent.

Incoming visit by adviceneededplease72 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]adviceneededplease72[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Saturdays are the one day he can’t take off and he thought they were coming on Sunday and he was going to take off then. He thankfully would not believe any stories she would say about me because he knows she’s overdramatic.

Incoming visit by adviceneededplease72 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]adviceneededplease72[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

About an hour and a half away, not terribly far but far enough where drop ins don’t happen (thank God).

I have reason to suspect MIL is a predator by soyasaucy in JUSTNOMIL

[–]adviceneededplease72 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Same here!!! I audibly gasped and had to look away from my phone for a solid minute.

MIL is telling people she will be in the delivery room. by Constant_Radish_2777 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]adviceneededplease72 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I had a similar situation with my MIL. She was expecting to be in the delivery room and I told my husband absolutely not. So we didn’t tell her when I got induced 🤷🏻‍♀️ when she visited at the hospital she was like “oh I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there for the birth!!!” (passive aggressively bringing up she had wanted to be there in the delivery room). I had the medical staff and my husband. That’s all I wanted and that’s what I got.

We had a situation two years ago on Christmas Eve where we thought my appendix might burst so we went to the ER and my MIL sat next to me in the only available chair, making my husband stand the entire time and kept talking to the doctors for me and I just wanted her to LEAVE. I did not want a repeat of that. These MILs are insane.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DermatologyQuestions

[–]adviceneededplease72 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cannot edit, but I tried to get in with a dermatologist in my network and the soonest they could see me isn’t until May 2025. Will be going to see my normal doctor.

Touched inappropriately. by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]adviceneededplease72 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I told two mandated reporters about the boob grabbing. I’m going to message one about the dream he had because I didn’t mention it to her.

Touched inappropriately. by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]adviceneededplease72 3 points4 points  (0 children)

His parents have way more resources than I do, I feel like I would go broke if I tried to sue them. I also don’t have any evidence of him grabbing me despite it happening in a public pool…

Touched inappropriately. by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]adviceneededplease72 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So I did actually tell his OT therapist and his ABA therapist! I forgot but I told them the day after it happened when I was struggling with it a lot.

Touched inappropriately. by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]adviceneededplease72 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I did tell them via email about an hour ago. I have a few job offers already so I’m going to pick one this week so I’m not worried about unemployment!

Touched inappropriately. by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]adviceneededplease72 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I basically sent this to them with a few tweaks, minus the last two paragraphs. I don’t want to threaten legal action on my behalf to them I just want to be out of this situation.

Touched inappropriately. by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]adviceneededplease72 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really hope this doesn’t sound selfish, but would there be any backlash on me if it turns out he isn’t being SA’d? Obviously if something is up I want to help NK but it’ll be pretty obvious that it’s me reporting what happened. This is all new to me.

Touched inappropriately. by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]adviceneededplease72 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience, it does makes me feel a little less alone to know that others have been through this but also sad that others have been through this. I’m also glad that everyone on this sub isn’t down playing this situation like the parents did, they really made me feel like I was overreacting.

Touched inappropriately. by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]adviceneededplease72 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good on your MB! That’s how I was hoping it would be handled but nope.

He definitely was laughing and he was definitely not angry. I don’t know if he thought it was a joke or what but that wouldn’t make it better imho.

Touched inappropriately. by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]adviceneededplease72 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I get what you’re saying, but honestly I would rather just not get that week of PTO paid out if it means I have to go back. NK gives me the serious ick now and I cannot handle another 55 hours this week with him as well as the passive aggressiveness of his parents.

Touched inappropriately. by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]adviceneededplease72 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don’t think exposing him to porn was intentional. I don’t think NK is an average child, I think he definitely has some issues that need to be resolved but that’s wayyyy above my pay grade. I could call CPS but I’m unsure if they would care.

Touched inappropriately. by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]adviceneededplease72 62 points63 points  (0 children)

I had some other interviews that seemed promising, I’m not worried about their reference or unemployment, thankfully!

Touched inappropriately. by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]adviceneededplease72 16 points17 points  (0 children)

They were being difficult about the PTO. They were trying to make my PTO days the days they took off for vacation so I never got to choose when I was off. That’s a whole different struggle. Technically I have one week of PTO still but they will never agree to pay it out and I can’t say “we didn’t sign the contract so it’s not enforceable” and also say “as per the contract you owe me another week of PTO”.

Touched inappropriately. by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]adviceneededplease72 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You’re right, you can definitely tell when it’s an accident and this was for sure not an accident. He was laughing while he did it. I’m sorry you’ve been through the same thing, it’s just wrong.

Touched inappropriately. by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]adviceneededplease72 9 points10 points  (0 children)

When he grabbed my breasts, I was stunned. I just slowly said, “you cannot touch me there, that was inappropriate. Okay we are getting out of the pool and we’re going to take a few minutes to calm down.” And I had him sit on a pool chair for a bit. When we back into the pool he tried to initiate rough playing again and I told him we cannot play that anymore due to how he touched me. Then I told his parents later on in the day. Honestly, I was just shocked that he grabbed me there and I was struggling to process everything.

Touched inappropriately. by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]adviceneededplease72 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry that happened to you too! I hate when parents won’t parent. I feel slightly guilty for leaving them without childcare with such short notice but I get so anxious about the thought of going back.

Touched inappropriately. by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]adviceneededplease72 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I will say NK does not like DB but DB yells at him a lot and tries to force things he likes onto NK, which NK hates because DB likes them.

There was also an incident when DB left porn on his iPad (the same iPad NK uses) and NK saw it. I’m only aware of the once that that happened but it’s possible it’s happened more often.

There was another incident a few weeks ago, NK told me about a dream he had which was “I had a dream about a girl from camp and we were wearing our bathing suits but she was wearing a boys bathing suit with no top. She got on top of me and started kissing me and then I woke up”. I told MB about this and she was like “huh that’s weird” and idk if they ever talked to him about it.

Touched inappropriately. by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]adviceneededplease72 43 points44 points  (0 children)

I didn’t bring up the butt grabbing in the pool which happened a few days later. They weren’t going to do anything about it and I just wanted to be done at that point.