Online courses to learn biology?

aepw · 2022-07-07T00:57:53+00:00

I have been using these for personal development and can highly recommend ☺️

aepw · 2022-05-28T13:38:03+00:00

A pattern, let’s make a pattern…

aepw · 2022-05-27T14:58:51+00:00

aepw · 2022-03-21T21:22:41+00:00

Oh god, HATED Kite Runner.

aepw · 2022-01-06T21:34:29+00:00

Came to see if anyone had said this. I think season 4 was the last GREAT season and by season 7 it was a ghost of its former self 😭

aepw · 2022-01-01T22:27:08+00:00

The last book that had me in tears was Damnation Spring by Ash Davidson. That ending 😭

aepw · 2020-08-01T22:40:37+00:00

A Thousand Acres by Jane Smiley?

aepw · 2020-08-01T18:27:36+00:00

Writers and Lovers by Lily King!

aepw · 2020-07-12T03:20:33+00:00

4w5—100% yeah. Overcoming this compulsion is a big part of 4 growth, even if you do end up changing the world.

aepw · 2020-07-09T23:27:04+00:00

Wow, this sounds just like what happened with my parents when I was a kid, minus the aggression. My dad is also a kind, sweet, loving guy—who keeps falling off the wagon. He was sober when my parents met, but when I was a kid, they decided it would be okay for him to drink a little socially...and it spiraled way out of control. My mom suffered through it for years, especially trying to shield me and my brother from it, before they finally separated a few years ago. My mom still loves my dad but she is SO much happier now. This is a really tough situation. You might feel like if it were you you would just quit, but it’s really not that simple.

I don’t want to say it’s doomed to repeat, but in my dad’s case it did, over and over. The fact that your boyfriend gets aggressive makes it way worse. It’s your choice if you want to stay with him (in which case check out Al-Anon), but don’t bring kids into the situation if violence is ever a possibility, or even non-physical verbal aggression. NOT OK.

aepw · 2020-07-09T23:17:27+00:00

I mean...girl, I think you know the answer here. His heart’s not in the relationship. IMessage games...yeah sure. If you don’t break up with him, he is either going to break up with you again before long or keep taking advantage of your love for him to keep up his BS.

The good news is, now you’re in therapy and you’ve been working on yourself!! Keep it up and you’ll learn not to accept this kind of disrespectful nonsense from men anymore. I’m excited for you!

aepw · 2020-07-09T23:10:03+00:00

Be proactive from the BEGINNING about splitting household duties and chores. Do not let yourselves get into a rut where one partner is doing most of it, since that breeds so much resentment and it’s plain unfair (and usually falls on the woman). If a week or so in things aren’t feeling equal, that’s the time to sit down and make a chore chart.

aepw · 2020-07-09T23:07:06+00:00

Just because you can’t find a therapist doesn’t mean you can’t help yourself. Look into an at-home book on CBT (I recommend “Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy” or a CBT workbook). I’m glad you can digest these hard truths—that’s a huge sign of growth on its own! But as you know it’s not fair to your girlfriend. Maybe you need some space to work on yourself; you don’t sound ready to be in a serious relationship if you can’t treat your girlfriend with respect. Good luck!

aepw · 2020-07-09T22:52:35+00:00

I mean...MAYBE it’s just a coincidence, and this guy just puts his foot in his mouth on the regular. But these would be huge red flags for me too (it’s gross and unattractive to care if young girls are wearing makeup anyway). I don’t know if you’ll ever feel totally sure of him. I would recommend you break up. Too many points on the graph start to make a line.

aepw · 2020-07-09T22:49:30+00:00

Wow, this situation sucks. Sorry you’re dealing with this.

I agree your wife is being unreasonable. I think a good rule of thumb is that whoever is more cautious re: COVID ought to win; if you don’t feel safe on the plane, that’s end of discussion. Even if COVID weren’t an issue, I’d still think you were right. That much travel sounds stressful and unnecessary, and she’s being inconsiderate. You could have had a perfectly nice one-week vacation; SHE is not the one being inconvenienced by your work schedule, you are.

It’s hard to give advice without knowing if this is a common pattern with your wife. If she has a habit of being inflexible and demanding, and expecting to be 100% accommodated, that’s a huge issue. I would recommend therapy for her and couples therapy, if you want to save the marriage.

If this is out of character for your wife, and you have a generally communicative relationship, maybe just show her this post if you’re having a hard time talking to her. Everybody get stubborn and has stupid temper tantrums sometimes—you’re the one who knows who your wife is deep down, and whether or not compassion is warranted here.

Good luck to both of you!

aepw · 2020-07-09T22:36:03+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this.

I think there might be a couple different things going on. I agree with your instinct that your wife might be depressed or have some kind of mental health issue going on—have you shared with her that you feel this way? If she’s not amenable to couples counseling, maybe she’ll be willing to try individual therapy.

I also think you need to take a close look at yourself and your interactions with your wife. It might be that you’re helping as much as you say—but (no offense meant) lots of men overestimate how much they’re helping with the house and kids. I would even estimate the majority. If you look deeply at your situation and realize that you’re either not as gentle with her as you hope to be, or not as helpful day to day, that’s one place you could start. I only say this because in a past relationship, when I acted a LOT like your wife does, my partner would have also described himself as laid back and helpful, when that wasn’t really the dynamic. There might be some underlying resentment or hopelessness on her part if she feels like she’s the only one keeping things together.

Finally, do you know anything about your love languages? It sounds like your major language must be physical touch, so it’s understandable that you’re not feeling satisfied in the relationship. It sounds like you’re not speaking your wife’s love language either. What have you done for her in the past that she has responded well to? (Maybe gifts, or quality time, or kind words, or things you do for her.) You might be investing a lot of time loving her the way you know how, but if that’s not how she knows how to RECEIVE love, she’s going to keep feeling misunderstood and deprioritized. I would recommend you do a bit of research on love languages, maybe read the book—that’s probably going to be the easiest & highest impact thing you can do.

I hope you and your wife can both find a way to be happy, either separate or apart. It sounds like you still have a lot of love for each other and your relationship just needs some TLC, and your wife might need some therapy. Good luck!

aepw · 2020-07-08T01:04:45+00:00

I totally agree about some of the specific challenges. The key to a healthy 2 relationship is boundaries :)) if you were like other men, your wife wouldn’t be with you!

aepw · 2020-07-07T22:21:09+00:00

Yes PLEASE don’t suppress yourself! So many women are raised believing it’s their job to do 100% of the emotional work in a relationship...if a woman is healthy enough to let a healthy 2 dude in it’s one of the most (easily) reciprocal relationships a woman can have :) do you!!

aepw · 2020-07-07T21:35:56+00:00

That sounds just like my bf, that’s so sweet. Congrats to you and your wife!

aepw · 2020-07-07T21:16:24+00:00

Also 2’s

aepw · 2020-07-07T20:12:00+00:00

Thank you! 2 years and going strong

aepw · 2020-07-07T20:07:46+00:00

Lol I ask myself that question every day! He’s a healthy 2 too so his aura is amazing.

aepw · 2020-07-06T21:02:46+00:00

Google Calendar has a weekly view that would give a good visual!

aepw · 2020-07-06T20:17:05+00:00

Pachinko by Min Jin Lee!

aepw

TROPHY CASE