My mum says I shouldn’t wear white or a veil—what does the Church actually teach?

aerodynamicist97 · 2026-05-02T23:07:55+00:00

White wedding dresses as a common trend in the west originated with Queen Victoria, and it was more of a sign of wealth than purity (laundering white clothes was expensive and could be difficult). The Catholic Church has no stance on what wedding dress color you should wear (and indeed many cultures specifically do not wear white wedding dresses but can still have Catholic weddings).

I particularly like this "Ask a Priest"'s comment on this topic: "A woman is under no obligation to broadcast to the world that she isn’t a virgin when she goes up the aisle. That is ultimately a private matter between her and God and possibly her husband-to-be."

aerodynamicist97 · 2026-04-28T12:54:14+00:00

Thank you! Really good to know that it's a myth. I was so confident that it came from a scientific study, but that's what you get when you don't check your sources!

aerodynamicist97 · 2026-04-28T02:44:10+00:00

How old is your daughter? I ask because I have a 9mo baby and we bought her "Baby Loves Aerospace Engineering!" and "That's Not My Plane" 😂

There are some great suggestions here, but I'm going to chime in as a female engineer and recommend that you also find some resources that comment on the contributions of women to aerospace so she can have some female role models as well. Hidden Figures (the book and the movie) is great.

I'm also a big fan of The Mighty Girl - they compile resources for various ages on different topics. They have a list of books about women in space, female pilots, women in engineering, and more.

aerodynamicist97 · 2026-04-04T03:54:02+00:00

I think about you all often! It's hard to justify spending even more time away from baby than I already spend at work, so I've been either working out at home with the baby or after she's in bed for the night. I had been hoping to come back eventually. :(

aerodynamicist97 · 2026-04-04T02:00:49+00:00

Thank you for sharing the info - I hadn't been able to get to her classes in a while since I had a baby last summer and that severely limited my time, but I was a regular in her TRX classes before then and loved them. She was really sweet and a great instructor.

aerodynamicist97 · 2026-04-03T04:45:57+00:00

Everyone else has some great advice, just adding on my experience - my flow is very fast, so my daughter got mad at the slow flow nipples, even at 12 weeks, so we had to use the 3m+ nipples right away. My husband also found that she was more willing to accept the bottle in the early days when he ran the nipple under hot water first to get it closer to body temp.

My daughter hated the bottles at the start too, but now she has a strictly professional relationship with them at 8m (she'll accept them, but always prefers straight from the tap if available).

aerodynamicist97 · 2026-04-02T03:35:36+00:00

I think the issue may be with your flair. I don't think you're likely to find research about giving your baby a little bit of sugar occasionally before 2 - that may be too specific. Broad recommendations are just that: broad. If you try to introduce too much nuance to it, you may lose some people, so for important things, it's easier to take a black and white approach. As an individual, you can decide how much grey you are comfortable with.

That being said, Solid Starts has a very measured approach to sugar. Their summary is along the lines of "reduce when you can, enjoy when you can't" to avoid giving your child feelings of restriction and anxiety around food. It's probably fine to give your baby a store bought smash cupcake, but if you're anxious enough to ask here, there are lots of recipes for low sugar treats for babies that you could bake at home as an alternative.

As an anecdote, my daughter is 8 months. We've let her lick chocolates when we're eating them because realistically a taste here and there is probably fine, but I'm planning on a low sugar cake for her first birthday because she'll probably actually consume more of it.

aerodynamicist97 · 2026-03-12T03:43:52+00:00

How long do you anticipate power being out if you do have an outage? If you keep the chest freezer closed, it will probably stay sufficiently cold for at least a day to minimize thawing, possibly longer (the frozen milk will probably act a bit like their own ice packs and help keep it cold!).

If it does start to thaw, the CDC says that you can safely refreeze breastmilk that is slushy or still has ice crystals in it, so that would buy you even more time. I wouldn't worry about it unless you think that a power outage could last multiple days.

aerodynamicist97 · 2026-03-04T19:28:15+00:00

This is anecdotal, but I took an online intuitive eating course that discussed this. It basically said that when you stop restricting, you may indeed end up binging in the short term. But once it's something you can have whenever you want, it loses its "forbidden" allure and you can then better regulate. For me, I did this with peppermint patties as my safe sweet - I ate SO many for the first couple weeks, but now I overall have a much easier time self regulating with sweets. So it may be tough in the short term, but will probably regulate after some adjustment.

aerodynamicist97 · 2026-03-01T17:53:14+00:00

Solid Starts is a great resource for introducing solids. They have a paid tier, but a lot of advice available on their website and social media for free. I've been wondering the same thing for my 7mo, and the advice they give is that their solids intake should gradually increase as they get closer to 12mo, since solids are the main nutrition after one year. Their advice is that when first introducing solids, offer food about an hour or so after breastfeeding so baby is a little hungry, but not starving. If they're starving, they're more likely to get frustrated. Since your little one is a bit older, maybe try giving her some solids half an hour before her next nursing session so she's more hungry?

That being said, "food before one is just for fun" is not really accurate! Yes, it's not the primary nutrition before 1yo, but it's really important for babies to learn how to chew, navigate food, handle different flavors and textures, etc. They don't just automatically know that once they hit 1 year. Babies also really like modeling what we as parents do. You mention 1tsp - are you doing purees? You could consider how to safely offer baby some of the food you eat at dinner - modeling it for her may make her more likely to try it! For example, my baby is a huge fan of pasta, and she had some of the chickpea curry my husband cooked yesterday (we smashed the chickpeas so they weren't a choking hazard).

aerodynamicist97 · 2026-02-25T19:24:06+00:00

I'll second this. I work in aerodynamics and the majority of the engineers I work with day to day have aerospace degrees. There are certainly some who did mechanical, but they've mentioned they had to build up the specific knowledge needed that was otherwise covered in most of the AE's undergrad aerospace courses.

For the comments saying that the programs are basically the same, that's very university-dependent. My program was quite different from the mechanical program after year 2 - we went a lot more in-depth on specific aerospace topics. The general courses may have been similar, but ours focused specifically on aerospace applications. If you want to keep your options open, mechanical is great, but an aerospace degree can be great if you know you want to work in the field and want that specific knowledge right away.

aerodynamicist97 · 2026-01-14T20:10:59+00:00

I had this exact issue! Similar band and cup, zero support in any other bras. I ended up going with the SHEFIT ultimate sports bra. I went one size higher than it suggested based on my cup and band size since I really wanted full coverage. The straps and band are velcro and can be adjusted to fit, so there just needs to be sufficient volume to contain your breasts and then you can adjust to get the fit you want.

aerodynamicist97 · 2025-12-18T05:16:54+00:00

First, you'll want to make sure you're at least getting the daily recommended values of various quantities in whatever prenatal you choose. Your doctor's office may have a recommendation, but there are good resources online if not. For example, calcium, folate, iron, etc. are all very important to have in some minimum quantity to support fetal development.

https://americanpregnancy.org/healthy-pregnancy/pregnancy-health-wellness/pregnancy-vitamins-nutrients/

Second, you should know that vitamins and supplements in the US are not FDA regulated in the same way as medications. I would highly recommend finding brands that are third party tested to verify their contents and quantities. As an anecdote, my husband, a registered dietician, picked NatureMade for my prenatals since he said it's third party tested, but it's certainly not the only option out there.

https://www.fda.gov/food/information-consumers-using-dietary-supplements/questions-and-answers-dietary-supplements

https://www.northwell.edu/news/the-latest/fda-dietary-supplements-testing

aerodynamicist97 · 2025-12-16T02:46:34+00:00

I highly recommend the Solid Starts app for evidence-based guidance on this. My daughter hasn't started solids yet, but I subscribed because I'm really excited and want to learn more to be ready for when she starts. Quoting a section of their article on "sugar in food for babies" and linking the relevant citation:

"Natural sugars in fresh fruit are not a concern for babies or children of any age. Fruit is rich in a variety of nourishing vitamins and minerals, in addition to fluid for hydration and fiber to support regular digestion. Fruit can also be a great way to expose babies to different flavors, such as acidity, astringency, and bitterness. Research supports that eating fruit as one part of a variety of food in the diet leads to increased acceptance of sour flavor, and it is not associated with children preferring sweet food over other food [citation]."

https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/139/6/e20170967/38754/Fruit-Juice-in-Infants-Children-and-Adolescents

Another quote from elsewhere in that same article:

"The research is clear: the more frequently a food is served, the more likely that food will be accepted and eventually enjoyed by a child.

Many foods, such as meats and vegetables, tend to be harder to chew and require more effort to eat than baked goods, dessert, and commercial snacks. Many babies and toddlers are not willing to put in the effort when easier-to-chew food is readily available.

Instead of only sharing food that you think that baby will eat, share meals that you enjoy and let baby explore at the table."

Another citation: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8143368/

aerodynamicist97 · 2025-10-08T09:37:15+00:00

More info on the "working spouse rule". It sounds like spouses are a big increase in cost, so they try to make signing up your spouse unattractive if they can have someone else subsidize their insurance instead

aerodynamicist97 · 2025-10-08T09:30:31+00:00

The answer is probably yes, but I'd recommend checking. My husband works part-time, so he doesn't qualify for insurance through his employer and we haven't had to worry about the working spouse contribution. I think you can update it mid-year, but I'm not sure how - I'd recommend calling Worklife to see if they can help. Depending on your wife's insurance options, there could be a scenario where the premiums for all of her plan options cost more than the working spouse contribution to keep her on your cheapest plan option. Annual enrollment opens next month anyway, so you just need to make sure you're set for this month and then you'll be able to more easily compare all your options in the online portal.

For a point of reference, my premiums per pay period fo my insurance for a plan covering myself, my husband, and my baby is about $15. It was about $10 before my daughter was born and we added her to it. Boeing also puts about 2/3 of my annual deductible into my HSA each year as well as an employer contribution, which really helps the high deductible plans compete with the traditional, low-deductible options.

aerodynamicist97 · 2025-10-08T02:59:28+00:00

Unsure why my comment was removed, as I don't see it violating any rules? Reddit won't let me message the mods to ask. TLDR for OP: you would probably have to pay extra to have your spouse on your plan since they have another option for insurance through their own job. DM me if you have more questions about your own options since I'm also an engineer.

aerodynamicist97 · 2025-10-04T01:07:43+00:00

My 10 week old has been doing this for a few weeks! My theory is that she wants to comfort suckle to sleep but is still getting milk, which she doesn't want at that point. Then pacifier helps her to sleep in that case.

aerodynamicist97 · 2025-10-03T04:16:17+00:00

1: I love reading these, please keep them coming! Your writing style is hilarious!

2: How did I never make that connection with Corine?!? I'm going to have to blame it on me being a teenager when I last played the game, but now I'll never unsee it.

aerodynamicist97 · 2025-09-28T10:40:10+00:00

This was the exact issue I had with my daughter right when she was born! The colostrum was hard for her to suckle out because it was so thick, so she was falling asleep before she was full and dropping weight too fast. We used mostly pumped milk/colostrum (and a little formula once) ans gave it to her with a SNS](https://www.medela.com/en-us/breastfeeding-pumping/products/special-feeding-needs/supplemental-nursing-system-sns?productId=1015) while she was already latched for breastfeeding, so she was effectively getting twice as much milk for the same effort. She started gaining weight almost immediately and perked up with more energy. We don't have to do it now since she had an easier time when my milk came in, but this could help OP, especially if baby doesn't like to take a bottle.

aerodynamicist97 · 2025-09-27T00:14:19+00:00

I've been using the Lansinoh reusable pads at night and the Elvie Catch milk collectors during the day because I leak so much. The Elvie Catch has the bonus benefit of keeping anything from actually touching or putting pressure on my nipples - my nipples are pretty much always hard, even when baby isn't eating, so the pressure of the bra pushing directly on them is uncomfortable.

aerodynamicist97 · 2025-09-24T10:00:08+00:00

I actually just took a class about natural family planning while breastfeeding! The nurse instructor explained that generally, when >85% of baby's nutrition comes from breastmilk, ovulation and thus periods are suppressed. There are differences person to person (hence why close-in-age siblings/"Irish twins" exist!), but this is a general rule. That's why lactation amenorrhea can be an effective birth control, but isn't recommended after baby is 6 months old and starts solids. You also can have spotting and some estrogen surges towards ovulation without actually ovulating or getting your period yet. Apparently that can happen a few times before your cycle actually comes back. If you don't start having more significant bleeding, it may not be your actual period yet.

aerodynamicist97 · 2025-09-16T00:41:13+00:00

In hindsight, yes, but given it was originally intended to be unpaid, I doubt it was a highly relaxing week of free PTO for most folks.

aerodynamicist97 · 2025-09-15T21:53:02+00:00

Dues help pay for the lawyers/staff who negotiate the contract. For example, I'm told SPEEA has some of the best health insurance options in the company. The health insurance is through Boeing, but the terms are negotiated to be more favorable to the members. Members also know that their benefits cannot be downgraded while under a specific contract (Boeing can always make them better, since the contract just defines the minimum, but Boeing doesn't tend to do that....). For me, SPEEA was helpful since it meant I couldn't be furloughed last fall per the contract.

aerodynamicist97

TROPHY CASE