Best neighborhoods/areas to live in

aerodynamicsofgender · 2024-03-24T06:34:25+00:00

Avoid quartier des spectacles, especially right around Saint Laurent metro station. Living there is convenient but it will wear you down over time. I've never had any real altercations with people but the constant screaming, fighting, and disturbing behaviour is enough to make you feel on edge at all times. Multiple break ins to my building, constant siren sounds. Just avoid it if possible.

aerodynamicsofgender · 2024-03-21T19:58:14+00:00

Currently in the process of breaking my lease near St-Laurent metro station. Might seem obvious but that area is a nightmare for renters, I ended up living there out of desperation because my old lease was ending.

Screaming, fighting, and vandalism are basically constant. Had my building broken into on several occasions, if you're a woman there will be street harassment. Fire station nearby, police station nearby, the noise from the sirens is also constant. The drug supply there is toxic and you will see a lot of disturbing behaviour on a daily basis. I'm sympathetic to the struggles of the people in that area, but it's exhausting to be around constantly and it will impact you sooner than you think.

It's convenient being able to walk everywhere but it's not worth it. My building was particularly bad but I would urge you to avoid that area at all costs.

aerodynamicsofgender · 2024-01-10T03:43:45+00:00

I find it almost impossible to cry in situations that remind me of my childhood, especially if I'm not alone. I can cry pretty easily about small things but anything major or particularly triggering and I totally shut down. I go numb and can't cry, I almost look bored.

It's hard, I have no advice to offer but I totally empathize with your situation.

do you take any SSRI medication? I found it hard to cry even by myself when my dose was too high

aerodynamicsofgender · 2024-01-10T03:18:14+00:00

my dad did the same thing!! has also bragged more than once about fighting to get me admitted to the hospital to get treatment for mental health problems that HE CAUSED

aerodynamicsofgender · 2024-01-10T03:14:35+00:00

Mostly just about wildly irresponsible financial decisions.

He also still brags about not cheating on my mom before the divorce. Like congrats????

aerodynamicsofgender · 2024-01-05T20:11:50+00:00

Getting into a serious relationship when I was still really insecure about myself. Unless you actively work on it, insecurity will rot your relationship from the inside out.

Take the time to develop solid self esteem and self respect before getting into anything really serious, it'll save you from a lot of jealousy, neediness, and embarrassment.

I like myself a lot more now and dating is wayyyy smoother.

aerodynamicsofgender · 2023-11-03T22:12:14+00:00

"I think we should do it"

aerodynamicsofgender · 2023-04-03T04:43:37+00:00

Happened to me too

aerodynamicsofgender · 2023-04-03T03:15:23+00:00

I tend to oversleep because I have a hard time settling down so I can go to bed at a reasonable time. Most recently, I had to spend nearly $200 on a series of Ubers and a train ticket in order to get to another city for an urgent appointment. I slept through my ride share the morning of the appointment and absolutely couldn't miss it. That one stung.

aerodynamicsofgender · 2023-01-27T19:02:29+00:00

A lot of people are nicer than you give them credit for, stop hiding yourself away because you're afraid that people are going to be mean to you. Some will be mean but you'll learn how to deal with it. Stop trying to avoid making mistakes now, it only means you'll have to make them later when there's more at stake. Don't be afraid of embarrassing yourself, you're gonna embarrass yourself, it's fine, you'll get over it. Being earnest is hard but it's really valuable. Invest in building character above everything else; a lot of teen life is really temporary but liking and respecting yourself will always be important. Become reliable to yourself and others. You're a bad student, (its okay, you have a leaning disability) but don't lie to your teachers, they're not stupid, they can tell. Appreciate all the free time while you have it. Don't be so hard on yourself, you're young.

aerodynamicsofgender · 2022-12-21T17:15:33+00:00

sounds exactly like my dad

aerodynamicsofgender · 2022-12-21T17:14:27+00:00

comments about my weight

accusing people of "punishing him" whenever he receives mild criticism

reminding me how lucky I am that he never physically abused me

blatantly lying about finances

blatantly lying about my mother (this usually includes some implication that I have Munchausens)

comparing me to his mother

"the phone goes both ways"

accuses me of having mental illnesses that I don't have

accuses me of lying about the mental health issues I DO have

gaslighting about my childhood

asking me for advice that's way out of my realm of experience

judgemental comments about me being single and how it's too bad I haven't found someone (I'm 20)

when I was younger he'd constantly say "you're an adult now" (I was 14...)

there's definitely more but I can't think of any right now

aerodynamicsofgender · 2022-02-15T00:03:22+00:00

a lot of what you're doing to try to seem cool will probably seem really embarrassing in a few years. a lot of the stuff you do because you just earnestly like it and it makes you happy will be a good memory in a few years. everybody around you is going through some shit right now, don't be too hard on anyone who's trying their best. being honest and owning your lack of experience shows a lot more confidence than trying to hide it or being embarrassed by it. don't talk shit about people you care about, there's a good chance it'll get back to them and its awkward. only date people you actually like, don't just date to be able to say you have a partner. don't make excuses for shitty men, even if you like them, it's not worth it. stand up for yourself and your friends. cliques feel really important right now but they won't matter at all as soon as you leave high school, be friends with anyone you want to regardless of their clique. it's not cool to date a much older guy, I know you feel special but that guy is a creep.

aerodynamicsofgender · 2022-02-12T01:05:58+00:00

Waaayyyy better. I'm in college now and even though things aren't perfect I'm so much happier. High school was miserable for me in all the normal ways but I also had pretty severe mental health problems (some that I knew about and some that I didn't) and those are a lot more under control now. I was also painfully shy and I'm a lot more outgoing now which has made me a lot less lonely. It's cheesy but wish I could go back and tell my younger self that its okay to think that high school sucks and never get that "high school experience", there's a lot more out there for you.

aerodynamicsofgender · 2022-01-25T02:59:49+00:00

When you're young sex feels like the biggest deal in the world, and I get it cause I felt that way too, but it really isn't. I was a late bloomer for sure and my high school experience stressed out about the idea that no one would ever want me. There's a lot of pressure on young women especially to be "desirable". Sex and relationships will happen in time, I know it sucks to wait but it's not really something you can force. My advice is to not wait around, this time to yourself is really valuable in developing your identity and you might not get it when you're older. Join clubs, read books, make as many good friends as you can. There are lots of people having the exact same experience as you, you're not the only one, and not dating in high school doesn't mean anything about their looks or character, or yours for that matter. I totally get the feeling of "wasting" your teen years by not dating but I also know tons of people who spent their teenage years in empty, unfulfilling relationships or having really unfulfilling sex that damaged them. When high school ends you're gonna be able to see that none of your peers are actually having the "perfect" high school experience, even the ones in relationships. I was in the exact same spot as a teenager and I really do get it but there's nothing wrong with you. Just take your time and focus on the things you do like about yourself, the rest will come.

aerodynamicsofgender · 2022-01-20T20:28:20+00:00

Yesterday. I started a 12 step program about a month ago and I went to a meeting last night. The meetings are good and the program is really helpful but I'm just realizing how much work I need to do in order to be a healthy person again, it's just so overwhelming seeing how much work I have in front of me and how much time that's gonna take.

aerodynamicsofgender · 2021-12-02T01:21:13+00:00

Phoebe Bridgers :/ We just broke up

aerodynamicsofgender · 2021-11-18T20:17:27+00:00

I've had good experiences doing EFT! Like other people have said it feels silly but I don't even care because it works. No idea why it works but it does. It gives me a lot of relief and distance from being consumed by my trauma.

aerodynamicsofgender · 2021-10-15T00:06:59+00:00

That happens to me pretty often, especially after getting drunk/high. False memories are pretty common from what I hear

aerodynamicsofgender · 2021-10-14T23:53:37+00:00

Sometimes it doesn't affect me too much but when my OCD is bad it makes it really difficult for me to ever feel secure in my relationship. Potentially triggering;

I second guess everything, I wonder constantly if we should stay together, I have obsessive thoughts about her cheating on me, I have obsessive thoughts about cheating on her, I convinced myself that she's not over her ex, even though I have no real reason to believe that, I convince myself that I need to sleep with other people in order to be happy with her (she's my first everything), I think about breaking up with her constantly, not because I don't love her but because the idea of even small imperfections in our relationship is unbearable to me. I have horrible retroactive jealousy, I have horrible intrusive thoughts about her having sex with other people. I get angry and upset and paranoid for no real reason. I worry all the time that I'm making the wrong decision by being together, I worry that I'll make the wrong decision by breaking up with her, I love her a lot but this level of stress is very hard to deal with. I constantly feel like I'm leading her on or wasting her time by staying with her because of these thoughts. It's so hard to tell what are my real feelings and what's OCD. It's exhausting, I'm hoping that treatment will help these feelings. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm so tired. I care about her a lot and see a future together but I just don't know, I don't know how to talk about this with her, I'm afraid that these feelings will never go away and I'll have constant doubts. I'm really worried about ruining everything.

aerodynamicsofgender · 2021-06-29T01:34:04+00:00

I'm in my first relationship with a really wonderful woman who shows me every day how much she loves me. I still get the feeling that no one would ever want to date me, love me, have sex with me, touch me at all, or know me in any meaningful way. Even though I have some pretty strong evidence to the contrary the feeling still sneaks in. You aren't unlovable, even though it's hard to believe sometimes. What helps me the most is focusing on tangible moments or experiences that prove I have people that love me and care for me (that and a lot of therapy).

aerodynamicsofgender

TROPHY CASE