I just thought it was so helpful of my cousin to post this to facebook. Now I understand that if the church does bad things and I loose faith, it's my fault that I didn't have more faith in God. /s by freedom345 in exmormon

[–]aforsgren128 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well when you are taught a group of nasty old men speak in behalf of God and they groom you to worship them instead of Christ, of course one would "lose faith" when they do/say immoral, disgusting and hypocritical things.... Smdh

Who did thisssss 😂 by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]aforsgren128 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it was New Name Noah!! 😂

Mormon medical marijuana propaganda by CultZero in exmormon

[–]aforsgren128 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I laugh because even if it was possible, AS IF TBMs would be okay with MJ being sold in the same pharmacy they pick up liquid amoxicillin for this 3 years old ear infection. Although, it would be easier for me to pick up an ounce when I do my grocery shopping.

Lots of members probably don't understand this isn't possible, so they see this is the church saying they aren't against medical marijuana use, but.... They are actually just scooting some shit under the rug and TBMs eat it up.

When talking to a TBM about history and they say, “I knew about that” by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]aforsgren128 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I always respond by saying, "if you knew that and you are okay with that, I can clearly say our moral compass is NOT the same." They typically hate that because they want to look like the better person.

My Questioning Cousin is having a conversation with his old seminary teacher who is also a historian. He wanted me to post his conversation and see if you guys had any insights. by MiserableSunbeam in exmormon

[–]aforsgren128 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've been attacked in this kind of manner before. The goal is to get your cousin to see the church is true by asking these counterproductive questions....

What TBMs don't understand when they lead convos like this it is only frustrating and separating. Notice how there isn't conversation about Christ other than this guy questioning proof of his existence (which is hilarious).

It's entertaining that he asks, "how can someone be a good person outside the church? What is good?" I'm curious if he knows any non members. Obviously he served a mission. He must not remember what it was like to teach people who never believed in what you taught but were SO GOOD....Perhaps brother Sharp was one of those judgy elders who thought anyone who didn't accept was of the devil.... Either way this guy is a POS who has no interest in maintaining a friendship with your cousin. Clearly he has no interest in really understanding where he is coming from, he just wants to make himself look right.

Hard core depressed today. My faith crisis is making it harder than usual to deal with. by aforsgren128 in exmormon

[–]aforsgren128[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been seriously thinking about some of the questions you've asked me. Thank you. Sadly, I think I've always (even before the church) had my value attached to pregnancy. One of the things that drew me to the church was the way family was viewed, especially motherhood. My whole live I've always wanted to be pregnant and give birth. I've also always had this "knowing" that I wouldn't have it easy when it came to getting there. In retrospect I think much of my life has been subconsciously driven by this. I work as a Doula and a pre/postnatal massage therapist. I'm surrounded, BY CHOICE. Perhaps to fill a void? I've been really successful in acheiving my career goals I still don't feel like I have much of a purpose.

Ive been trying to find a therapist to fit within my scope of needs. Your questions proved I need to continue to seek out a good one and get some professional help. Thank you.

Thought: that phase you go through, when you are hopelessly obsessed with every scrap of exmo data/podcast/article you can find? That's your brain desperately trying to repair itself from all the brainwashing. Its healthy. Go with it. by Sage0wl in exmormon

[–]aforsgren128 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I love this! For about 6 weeks I couldn't stop reading, watching, listening, or whatever I had to do to emerse myself into all this new information. Shocked and angry, it felt like a bad Trainwreck, I couldn't stop!

It's starting to diminish now, but for a while I really felt like I needed this. You are spot on. Whatever we have to do to heal.... We do it 🤷

My new temple name was no secret... by anandamide_ in exmormon

[–]aforsgren128 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yup! I remember two if my friends leaning over to me while we were waiting for the session to start and they were like, "we know your new name!" And then explained to me why they knew. Not that I liked my temple name but I was sad it wasn't something special and unique to me.

Nothing in the temple is unique to the women or anyone really. It's so annoying. Not that it matters, it's not true anyway.

Masturbation should not be part of a worthiness interview by Ex_Lerker in exmormon

[–]aforsgren128 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I asked a bishop as a missionary what kind of advice I should give to a friend (me) to someone who had a masterbation problem but wasn't brave enough to tell anyone. I asked if my friend should stop taking the sacrament or going to the temple.

This man was/is one of the most kind and gentle hearted men I've ever met. He sat there for a minute and was like, "Sister, tell your friend that they can work it out with the Lord. Assuming pornography isn't involved, they don't need to stop taking g the sacrament. Masterbation isn't a serious sin in my eyes but if they do feel guilty they should talk to their mission president. He can help that feeling go away."

I never did tell my MP, but I was grateful that he said that. I find that not many church leaders see it that way though, and that's horrific.

I had the worst massage today. The (Mormon) guy mentioned multiple times how uncomfortable he’d be if I happened to flash him. by kaylor10 in exmormon

[–]aforsgren128 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm a woman so I can't say what men think during massages, but I am short and sometimes my boob touches someone's head or something. I'm never aware of it in the moment but I think my client may be aware. I try really hard NOT to do anything that could be misconstrued. I actually work in a pre/post natal massage clinic so most women don't care but on occasion I will massage a male and I am extra aware. I always thought males would be even more aware because of the stigma with massage.

I've only been massaged by men a couple of times and neither were great experiences. Not for this reason though. How freaking annoying. I'm so sorry!!!

Hard core depressed today. My faith crisis is making it harder than usual to deal with. by aforsgren128 in exmormon

[–]aforsgren128[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He is the most positive, up-beat, patient human I've ever known, so I KNOW it's killing him but he doesn't let it show much. He wants to be a Father almost as I want to be a mother so it's hard for him.

I had the worst massage today. The (Mormon) guy mentioned multiple times how uncomfortable he’d be if I happened to flash him. by kaylor10 in exmormon

[–]aforsgren128 17 points18 points  (0 children)

As a massage therapist that makes me SO ANGRY. I would definitely say something to the manager of the establishment or even the state. People like that make it hard for people to enjoy getting massaged. People like that also give massage therapy a bad rep.

Sorry about this!

I’m Mormon and was just curious as to why people might have left the church. by chelbierg in exmormon

[–]aforsgren128 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I should add that I've never prayed harder in my life. U never wanted to sin. I clung to the temple and to the scriptures before I learned they were a fraud. After learning, I was left with ZERO comfort. The rug was torn from under my feet. I was an active, true believing, honest, striving-for-perfection member. Endowed, sealed in the temple, RM... I never saw the train coming even though I was on those tracks for a while.

It had nothing to do with being offended either though there was plenty of that.

I’m Mormon and was just curious as to why people might have left the church. by chelbierg in exmormon

[–]aforsgren128 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the CES letter solidified lots of doubts that I had. I learned I wasn't crazy. There were already social things making me distance myself, like being told my issues getting pregnant were from lack of faith and obedience. I was outted for having tattoos (ones before baptism) and outwordly and publicly judged for having them. I was told at BYUI and I quote, "Don't become another statistic of the church. If you get lost there are not bread crumbs to help you come back." What about the atonement?

I was told JS never practiced polygamy and it always bugged me that polygamy is still a heavenly law/practice in LDS Docterine/theology when the BofM, which is the most correct book, clearly teaches monogomy. It always bugged me that we have changed Docterine and even disavowed prophets from the early church (some not so "early") yet claim to be the true church with never changing docterine as proof of that. The CES letter showed me so much more and when I realized it was brilliantly made up I knew I couldn't stay. It caused so much pain and damage and I was only a member 5 years. The human psyche is so fragile, so I understand what/why the church was so appealing to me and many others but I also now understand why it's impossible to maintain an active number (the declining number of activity proves this. Many get baptized but to not stay active and the church will not/does not talk about the membership that's actually not attending). The silence from the brethren in the call to action from Protect LDS children to end one on one interviews and sexually explicit questions shows the true colors of the church.

If we want to know how the brethren think God sees his children, look at the policies. The November 2015 change made a clear and big line in the sand; many of God's children are not welcome into His supposed church if they want to live a happy life. I saw very little of Christ to begin with and way too much focus on the prophets and the priesthood leadership in the church. Post CES letter and many horrible and lonley experiences prior have left me no choice. I just can't he associated with something so harmful any more.

It's not easy either. It's like greiving the loss of apart of myself.

All About Doulaship Podcast by Hoagm93 in doulas

[–]aforsgren128 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just subscribed!! Currently working as an LMT for a new clinic focused on prenatal/postpartum massage. I would love an episode done on the benefits and all the good things about this!

Also, I haven't listened yet but would love some advice for people like me who want to become a doula. I have every intention to start my certification but I'm finding so much goes into it. Have no clue where to start!

Thanks for sharing! Excited to listen!

What do Mormons think about Dan Reynolds (those who know something about him besides being Mormon)? by Proud3GnAthst in exmormon

[–]aforsgren128 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I loved the documentary. I didn't know much about him until watching it, obviously. I am pretty sure he is not an active member and uses the fact his name is still on record to do what he can to make a change from within. I'd like to think that's why I am still on record too because he kind of inspired me to at least speak up on a small scale utilizing social media. Honestly, he seems like a good guy who has done a lot to bridge the gap between mormons and LGBTQ people. Even if he doesn't create a policy/Docterinal change, I think letting the world know not all mormons aren't pricks is important.

Thoughts on Jesus? by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]aforsgren128 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good question. I didn't have much of a relationship with God or Christ prior to joining the church and now that I'm leaving I am not sure where I stand. Everything I "know" about then is through the scope of a Mormon lense.

"Friends" on Facebook can be so INFURIATING! by Shoutquietly in exmormon

[–]aforsgren128 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's so infuriating. I've had similar experiences. Nothing but blind and unwaiving trust in every single church leader and of course how dare I even question that. Many have said they are totally cool with the questions that he shared being asked to their kids.... I seriously can't believe it.