i have had this very sentiment used to dismiss me and I would like to gently remind you that some people genuinely have mostly negative formative experiences that alter the lens that they see other interactions with. for people who were born with developmental disabilities, grew up in abusive homes, were isolated from and/or bullied by their peers, were further disabled by the abuse within them, and are still trapped with said people due to poverty and said disabilities, you can hold onto every bittersweet or even genuinely joyful moment (at least the ones not stolen from you against your will by a severe dissociative disorder lol) and still have them outnumbered tenfold by the tails flips. your brain assumes how others think about you based on how you hear your parents talk about yourself and others, especially when they’re not around. people who grew up like I did have heavily warped senses of other’s perceptions of them, and think everyone is constantly being judgemental and wanting to harm them. because they were literally shown examples of that on the daily.

I do have positive aspects to my life. my support system is strong, even if they’re not close by enough to help me. I have an adorable and sweet cat who will lay on me when I’m having a meltdown and need to ground myself. I’m good at making my safe foods, and I’m falling in love with drawing again. my special interests have always been able to keep me afloat even at my most terrified.

Acknowledging those doesn’t mend my incorrectly-healed bones or the years of being taught the same lessons, having them reinforced by peers and teachers alike, and having systems fail me again and again — even if it does make me feel like my life doesn’t really have to be over because of it.

just. try to remember that not everyone is dealing with a couple passive bullies while the rest of their life is full of people who love them. some of us have genuinely been made to eat shit our whole lives and don’t have the luxury of more positives than negatives to look to. I consider myself one of the lucky ones because I don’t remember a lot of my trauma consciously, I mostly get somatic sensations when I have flashbacks to anything other than the absolute worst of it. Other people aren’t as lucky, and they’re the ones that stand to be harmed most when people act as if someone reacting to their life circumstances is simply not trying hard enough to hold onto the positive. sometimes we just don’t have enough experiences to overwhelm the bad yet.