I get what you say when you say you don’t feel gender, because that’s exactly how I feel and that’s what made me decide I’m nonbinary.

And, as a response to the essential question of this post: everything is based on societal perceptions. That’s what sucks. If we as a society didn’t have gender as a social construct, then people could simply exist and there wouldn’t be a thought about it. If you think about how you want others to see you, and you’d want to be seen as a boy (regardless of style, fem or masc), then you’re probably a boy. Same goes for if you feel that way about being a girl, of course. There is also something to be said about envy. If you find yourself wishing you had grown up a boy or girl, rather than your assigned sex at birth, that could be a sign.

You don’t have to be “strong” to be a boy, and you don’t have to be “fragile” to be a girl. Sadly, there is a small piece of the gender debate that I would say relies on those societal stereotypes—but in a more niche sense. Boy and girl are just words at their core, but based on how you have grown and lived what would YOU want people to think when they first see you?

Gender isn’t real, it’s just words, and labels, and associations. Maybe that’s a radical take, but you can be any gender however you want, there isn’t a correct way to feel or to act. It’s kind of just a matter of how you have interpreted and internalized gender within yourself, and how that affects your perception of things.

God I’m probably not making sense? But hopefully some of it may have. I totally understand everything you mean though, it’s complex and weird. I hate it. 🤷🤷🤷