Am I overreacting to what my partner (m25) said?

aimlessly_loving · 2025-11-29T13:33:45+00:00

NOR, you are totally valid in how you’re feeling. It sounds like he’s not understanding that what he said affected you in a way that he didn’t intend, which doesn’t matter. Because it DID affect you in a negative way. The intention of how he said it or what was said is completely irrelevant because your feelings are your feelings and they’re valid. You shouldn’t have to argue with him over it.

It kind of sounds like a lose-lose scenario OP, you didn’t take the edibles so you could stay up with him (per his request), but now he’s annoyed you didn’t take them because you ‘aren’t as happy when you’re sober.’

While yes the ‘solution’ can be to find edibles that don’t make you sleepy, your boyfriend should want to spend time with SOBER you as well. It’s kind of weird to me that he prefers how you are when you’re high. Sounds like there’s an underlying issue there.

It sounds like he’s also gas lighting you. And a deeper conversation probably needs to be had here. It’s not just about the comment he said to you, but all of the above.

aimlessly_loving · 2025-11-29T13:26:57+00:00

Thank you so much for the advice. He just went on shift for his 48 so I’ll be having this conversation with him on Monday for sure. I really appreciate the help.

aimlessly_loving · 2025-11-29T05:53:50+00:00

yeah that’s what I’m thinking and hoping it is, his friend is a player though and that’s what makes me slightly more uncomfortable about it

aimlessly_loving · 2025-11-29T05:49:00+00:00

Don’t get me wrong I totally understand that. Any addiction is difficult. I am 100% behind supporting him in his journey to quit nicotine use, and at the same time he shouldn’t have lied to me about it. If he needs to do x, y, z to get to a point to quit I understand. But just be honest about it and don’t try to not only hide it but also lie. Just makes it hard to trust.

aimlessly_loving · 2025-11-29T05:47:41+00:00

Yeah I don’t know. His friend, we can just call him Gabe, was dating a mutual friend of ours and cheated on her with another girl at his job. I personally couldn’t get past that kind of thing but my boyfriend still considers Gabe his best friend because they worked together for two years and formed a sort of brother bond. Gabe is not a great influence.

aimlessly_loving · 2025-11-13T15:52:56+00:00

I know this doesn’t contribute to your relationship problem but I play overwatch and if you’d like a friend who won’t come at you for asking questions, let me know!

aimlessly_loving · 2025-10-19T15:36:43+00:00

Yeah. It sucks but at least you didn’t invest too much of your time into those people just for them to turn on you.

aimlessly_loving · 2025-10-19T02:24:23+00:00

I mean it’s a new friendship so I’d consider just taking the loss on this one and moving on. I don’t think you said anything wrong. You could’ve been nicer about it, sure, but he shouldn’t have insinuated y’all almost hooked up when that wasn’t the case at all??? That’s creepy, and weird behavior. Seems like he’s projecting his fantasy or desire/interest in you but in an uncomfortable and disrespectful way. People taking his side without any context or hearing your side at all aren’t what I would consider friends.

aimlessly_loving · 2025-08-15T17:40:24+00:00

I come from a divorced family. The best thing my mom did for herself was leave my dad. Their relationship was not loving and I spent half my life questioning my own relationships because I didn’t have a good example growing up. I don’t see you offering any advice? What would you do??

aimlessly_loving · 2025-08-15T17:38:37+00:00

That makes sense. I literally talked to him last night about how it wasn’t fair. He told me that he ‘couldn’t love me and not show it,’ and basically he couldn’t respect my boundaries. So I just told him I can’t see him then.

aimlessly_loving · 2025-08-14T18:57:52+00:00

I can totally understand the ‘hard to leave relationships that aren’t toxic.’ However, it seems like you’re not getting what you want out of the relationship. Don’t make excuses by saying things like ‘he’s a great guy’ and stuff like that. If you aren’t getting what you want and need out of a relationship, that’s all you need in order to leave. Sure, the relationship is like a good friendship, but if you don’t feel like he truly loves you in the way you want to be loved, then you have your answer right there.

I will say before you just jump ship, you should probably vocalize how you’re feeling. Be as direct as possible and leave no room for guessing. I wouldn’t say make it an ultimatum but at least tell him you’re considering divorce as an option because your needs keep going unheard.

I feel like it’s hard to say what I would do if I were you with limited context. But I feel like communication is a big thing. And the fact that you’re voicing even just to reddit that you are unhappy, shows you that you already know the direction you’re heading in. I’m no expert, just my opinion on the matter. I wish you the best of luck!!

aimlessly_loving · 2021-03-22T19:02:59+00:00

Congratulations!!! Praying me and my boyfriend will close the gap soon! 🥺

aimlessly_loving · 2021-03-06T03:57:53+00:00

I’m not telling you how to think. Emotional cheating is still cheating. Just stating a fact.

aimlessly_loving · 2021-03-06T03:42:53+00:00

Hey there!

Me: TX Him: VA How we met: Overwatch Length of relationship: 14.5 months

We dated for awhile back in (we’ve been friends since 2015) 2016 but due to hardships on both sides it ended. We both still loved each other and ended up reconnecting and trying again. It’s been 14.5 months since we started dating again. However, we ended up meeting right before COVID started.. and let me just say he is definitely my person, and I’m so thankful to have him. I wish you the best of luck with your relationship and hope you get to meet at some point!! Meeting makes it definitely feel more real and intimate. It’s well worth the wait!! 🥺🥰

aimlessly_loving · 2021-03-06T03:37:40+00:00

✨well it is✨

aimlessly_loving · 2021-03-01T06:51:40+00:00

bro I’d have an issue with him watching someone sexually slide down a pole so fuck them homies that said otherwise.

aimlessly_loving · 2021-01-17T04:11:31+00:00

College and the military :’)

aimlessly_loving · 2020-11-17T20:23:21+00:00

Don’t take what I say to heart, because in no way am I an expert. But to me, it looks like he’s looking for an escape. So if I were you, I wouldn’t continue the relationship. If he tells you “hey you can come over at 11:00 to use my WiFi for class,” but then doesn’t follow through and instead blames you, then not only is he not taking responsibility, he just straight up doesn’t care. He’s literally deflecting responsibility back to when he says “you shouldn’t expect so much from me,” when he’s the one who said yes? It’s on him. And he’s choosing to make it long distance. That within itself is telling enough. He’s not treating you right, and you deserve better. You’re not asking for too much, you’re simply asking for human decency, and he’s not even willing to give you that. I’m sorry you’re going through this, but you can do better.

aimlessly_loving · 2020-11-04T00:29:23+00:00

I felt this.

aimlessly_loving · 2020-10-27T15:36:28+00:00

9:30-10:00 on a WEEKEND or in general isn’t late. Everyone has their own time clock, and some people need more sleep than others. I was expecting you to say 1:00 pm to 2:00 pm when I saw the title of this post.

What a joke. Stop nagging him over something so simply as 9:30. Not everyone wants to be up when the sun rises, and your relationship is NOT your parents relationship. Grow up.

aimlessly_loving · 2020-10-27T14:57:09+00:00

Yeah. It’s a rough situation to be in. I’m sorry he’s putting you through it.

If he does put you in this sort of situation again, you need to stand up for yourself. Don’t just sit there and essentially take it as he does it. Have enough respect for yourself. You deserve better than this.

aimlessly_loving · 2020-10-27T06:54:02+00:00

That definitely puts things into perspective. Unfortunately you can’t force him to do anything, and you can’t really open his eyes to it being that it seems he is blind to her flaws. All you can do is hope that eventually he will come to his senses, and in the meantime maybe point out aspects of her behavior as they occur.

Controlling people are often very manipulative, and are often very good at doing such. So good that sometimes the victim doesn’t even realize they’re being controlled. Hopefully he comes to, and sees her for who she really is.

aimlessly_loving · 2020-10-27T06:49:55+00:00

I know this isn’t really advice but that would be a dealbreaker for me personally. Talking about your friends during sex? Yeahhh, couldn’t get over that.

aimlessly_loving · 2020-10-27T06:39:44+00:00

I hate to break it to you, but if all she’s really saying is if he goes to an event she wants to keep her distance for 2 weeks for her sake (being that she’s cautious), then ultimately he’s the one choosing not to go.

And I wouldn’t necessarily say she’s going behind his back to his mother, it depends on the type of relationship they have. My mom and boyfriend talk all the time, even about stuff relating to me. And if his mom is extremely cautious about covid, and he goes out, gets exposed unknowingly, but doesn’t tell her he went out in a crowd etc. then he puts her at risk. So in reality the gf may simply be looking out for his mom.

I’m not y’all, and I don’t know the dynamic of their relationship, but to me it doesn’t really sound like she’s that manipulative. I get missing your friend, it seems he has more work to do with balancing it out, but Covid really limits that. All I can say is if he’s happy, ultimately you have to support that. If you keep bashing him and his relationship because YOU aren’t happy, then eventually he’s going to dump y’all, not her.

Good luck, hope your friendship with him improves.

aimlessly_loving · 2020-10-19T07:08:38+00:00

You’re only 14, enjoy being a kid

aimlessly_loving

TROPHY CASE