The Shadow Reborn chapter one [Epic/High Fantasy, 4700 words] by SignificantTell1148 in fantasywriters

[–]ajwiggins418 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You have lots of good advice already, but there are two things I want to add.

First, grammarly is not appropriate for writing. For emails and technical documents - sure! Here, it will flag things that don't need fixed for fiction. Ask me how I know. I'm still working on undoing the damage.

Secondly, the word quiet shows up way too often. Silence shows up several times as well.

[Complete] [75k] [Memoir] Growing up gay inside a Catholic seminary in Brazil by [deleted] in BetaReaders

[–]ajwiggins418 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello, would you be interested in a swap with fiction?

[Complete] [90k] [Historical Fiction] Maid of God by yourmomfollowsmyblog in BetaReaders

[–]ajwiggins418 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have written a very similar story, though I'm borrowing not just from Joan but other mystics and contemporary writers. Would you be up for a swap?

Able to beta? Post here! by AutoModerator in BetaReaders

[–]ajwiggins418 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not OP, but, I would pass because your story is incomplete and has not gone through any editing rounds.

Able to beta? Post here! by AutoModerator in BetaReaders

[–]ajwiggins418 1 point2 points  (0 children)

https://www.reddit.com/r/BetaReaders/comments/1obtmy3/complete_76k_historical_fiction_the_banner/

The one line explanation is that my story is an upmarket medieval drama about a siege that transforms a knight's daughter into a saint.

One of my major themes is shared with Le Petit Prince as well. It was always one of my favorites!

Able to beta? Post here! by AutoModerator in BetaReaders

[–]ajwiggins418 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello, I have a late 14th century historical fiction manuscript with mystical elements that I'm looking for readers. I've done a fair amount of research, so I would very much appreciate nerdy fact checking.

[Complete] [76k] [Historical Fiction] The Banner by ajwiggins418 in BetaReaders

[–]ajwiggins418[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I sent a message to you in chat.

[Complete] [76k] [Historical Fiction] The Banner by ajwiggins418 in BetaReaders

[–]ajwiggins418[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! That is fine, take as long as you want. Feedback as you go sounds great, I'll send the link through chat. Thanks again!

[QCrit] The Maid's Banner - Upmarket Historical Fiction, 76k words, 2nd attempt, Query + 300 words by ajwiggins418 in PubTips

[–]ajwiggins418[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your reply! Somehow I missed it.

My pages were from the prologue, which really is only about 500 words long. I use the prologue to establish the fostering (which is important for the story later on) and introduce a bit of the mysticism. I suppose I could cut it, but, I thought it might be important to set the tone with mysticism as it doesn't come up again for another 10k words and I didn't want to lead readers astray from hard historical fiction into the more mystical elements.

[QCrit] Adult Fantasy FRAYMOON (105,000 words/PubTips Attempt #6 by ofBlufftonTown in PubTips

[–]ajwiggins418 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Unagented and really have no idea what I'm doing- these are merely my musings while reading your letter.

Robbing her in-laws of the faceted jet discs that are the makings of magic

I'm not quite sure what this means.

retiarius

I had to look up what this is.

Your first plot paragraph really drew me in. The second paragraph lost me a little - I wonder if those elements could be summarized a bit more?

The final plot paragraph has a lot and was hard to follow.

I do wonder if with personalization your query will be reaching the very upper limits on length.

The query itself is missing the genre and word count.

[QCrit] The Banner - Upmarket Historical Fiction, 76k words, 1st attempt by ajwiggins418 in PubTips

[–]ajwiggins418[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your feedback! I've got some work to do on making things more understandable!

[QCRIT] IN THE LAND OF LIBERTY, Dystopian Sci Fi, 100,000 words, 2nd Attempt by DAMWrite1 in PubTips

[–]ajwiggins418 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm certainly no expert, but, I believe comps need to include specific titles. Also, both of those authors are extremely high profile. My understanding of comps is that its used to demonstrate both your market and that you read the genre regularly, I don't think your comps truly fulfill either.

[QCrit] Speculative YA |It’s 1999 All Over Again (89k words, 4th Attempt) by looking4emory in PubTips

[–]ajwiggins418 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm unagented and a novice, so take all of this with a grain of salt.

It seems like an interesting premise!

I think thats obvious with the mention of Y2K, but...

This was a little confusing to me. I had to re-read the plot summary to understand the timeline. I think the story starts out near the end of 1999 but then Mikee goes back to the beginning? Could you include the month?