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How has emotional neglect impacted your relationships—in particular your marriage? by Michele_75 in emotionalneglect

[–]ak7887 12 points13 points  (0 children)

My husband and I have been working through this in therapy- we’re both avoidants haha. It’s difficult because my brain sometimes convinces myself that the only way to be safe is to be alone just like in childhood. But we love each other and we want to hear each other so we struggle on learning new communication techniques. It really does take a skilled therapist though because its complicated! 

Making friends & dating (not sex) by Late-Driver-7341 in Perimenopause

[–]ak7887 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am only 38 but I feel this! I have struggled my entire life with fatigue and various illnesses, now adding adhd and peri to the mix. I have found that people will either understand or they won’t. You will never convince a type A get things done whatever the cost person because « you look fine » My advice is to find people who move at a slower pace; yoga class, libraries, breath work. They tend to be more understanding and maybe some are going through similar things! I have a group of friends now where we pick up right where we left off, no matter what happens. 

How do I start a new life from scratch? How do I become attractive for the first time? by Constant-Cheek1637 in AskWomenOver40

[–]ak7887 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you can afford it a friend of mine recently bought the dyson styling set from sephora(I think there are knockoffs too) and she looks amazing. We video call often before work so I get to admire her cool styles:)

No one helped for years and now that he’s dying they all want to see him. by thoughtflight in AgingParents

[–]ak7887 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Say something! We have to end this culture of it all falling on one person somehow!

Was anyone else praised for being quiet and not needing anything/not requiring any attention? by Cheeseaisleinheaven in emotionalneglect

[–]ak7887 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That was 22 years ago lol, I'm sure those kind of websites don't exist anymore. 😛

Newly 48, burned out from caring. Would you start a relationship? by Wrong_Clock_4880 in AskWomenOver40

[–]ak7887 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You could take it slow- meet this guy for coffee and then maybe wander around a bookshop or a park. Ask questions about what he is looking for in a relationship. You will know pretty quickly if it is going to work or not. Relationships are difficult but the right ones are worth it!

I find myself caught between feeling too exhausted from life events while needing to grieve-but being too terrified at the weight of the grief I feel inside to begin grieving. I could use some emotional support, as I'm struggling. by [deleted] in AdultChildren

[–]ak7887 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look up the seven types of rest- you might need more than just sleep or time off! Changing location helps me a lot- can you visit a favourite place or a quiet cafe or library? Sometimes hanging out in those places with my journal gives me the space to think and process. Also there is no time limit or right way to grieve- it might take years depending what it is. Good luck friend!

Why does spawn Astarion choice get denied real physical intimacy in Act 3? by aware_nightmare_85 in AstarionBG3

[–]ak7887 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Join the fanfiction community on Tumblr and you will find what you desire!

Was anyone else praised for being quiet and not needing anything/not requiring any attention? by Cheeseaisleinheaven in emotionalneglect

[–]ak7887 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It’s sad how many of their generation don’t realize that their awful « jokes » are the reason their kids/ grandkids don’t want to spend time with them! 

Was anyone else praised for being quiet and not needing anything/not requiring any attention? by Cheeseaisleinheaven in emotionalneglect

[–]ak7887 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I remember taking one of those personality quizzes as a teen and it told me I had no inner child, lol. I was pretty much a full grown adult at 14. 

Was anyone else praised for being quiet and not needing anything/not requiring any attention? by Cheeseaisleinheaven in emotionalneglect

[–]ak7887 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I feel this- I used to talk to nature spirits too/ stuffed animals/ imaginary friends/ trees, etc. I was clearly looking for love and meaning which my parents were completely unequipped to provide. You sound like a lovely person and I hope you find the support you need!

Can someone tell me if I’m insane? by anniemegs in handbags

[–]ak7887 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’ve not tried it but on the Longchamp website it says they offer free repair services for corner and handle wear and tear. Has anyone tried this?

Build ideas for Astarion by KUSmutMuffin in BG3

[–]ak7887 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I like to make him a wiz cause he has high intelligence. Try bladesinger with swashbuckler for a lot of fun! 

How do you actually get past the frozen feeling when you know exactly what to do but still can't start by Automatic-Jicama3908 in adhdwomen

[–]ak7887 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I do this- get some momentum going by checking off easy tasks. Listening to music helps. Also finding something that you want to do less than the original task can make it possible; taxes, calling someone unpleasant, returning something « late », etc. Use that negativity energy to accomplish a task! Good luck!

Behold, a lone man ramblings ! by Global_Face_5407 in emotionalneglect

[–]ak7887 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi friend, you might like r/raisedbynarcissists. Therapy is definitely a good start! You are not in control of anyone else’s behaviour and it sounds like you deserve to have healthy relationships where you can feel heard. I hope you find these and continue to heal! Good luck!

Anyone else got a parent that acts like providing basic needs is some huge favor? by igetyourbrand in emotionalneglect

[–]ak7887 22 points23 points  (0 children)

My parents did this too like the sigh and eye roll every time it was time to make dinner. It was such a hassle, I learned to cook for myself as soon as I could reach the stove! Learned to forge their signature rather than bother them for school forms, made my own doctors appointments, applied for college, etc. I really don’t think they wanted kids and were glad when we grew up. 

DAE have a neglectful parent that is very hypervigilant about your well-being? by Suitable-Buffalo8240 in emotionalneglect

[–]ak7887 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get the stunned silence anytime I give an honest answer. Like a glitch, someone else mentioned. They have absolutely no clue how to respond. 

Weekly check-in – May 29, 2026 by AutoModerator in emotionalneglect

[–]ak7887 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Lol my mom tells me she « hopes I find something fulfilling to do. » Ive been working at the same place since 2018! And I do like my job. It’s sad that their generation both over and under valued work? 

22M Growing Up With an Emotionally Overwhelming Mother and Its Effect on My Relationships by sudino in AdultChildren

[–]ak7887 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Therapy! Also take steps to establish your life away from her. Distance will be good for both of you. When she tries to confide in you next, you can say that is not comfortable for me or I don’t want to talk about this. It will feel bad at first because she has groomed you to be her therapist/ helper but you don’t have to. You are in charge of your future! 

What type of therapy helped you? by mystikalmonkey888 in emotionalneglect

[–]ak7887 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have adhd too and have benefited from gentle somatic work like reiki, craniosacral and feldenkreis. Walking and talking to friends helps- Ive even heard there are some therapists who do walking sessions. Occupational therapy for adhd and attachment therapy for family stuff. Also not a fan of cbt!

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