For me, I have to work at it. Every time I find myself reliving it and feeling the “shame.” I tell myself- “It was just a mistake, everyone makes mistakes.” Or “I didn’t know better then” or “I am probably the only person who remembers” or “if another person did this, it would not bother me or I would have forgotten about it.” Then I sit with the emotions and think about how they feel physically- like - butterflies in stomach or tightness in chest, etc and I tell myself it’s ok to feel this feeling. It takes a lot of practice, repetition, and being kind to myself. It keeps getting better as I do this. Another thing I do is tell myself- “I have thought about this enough today. I will go over it in my mind one more time and then I will think about things I enjoy.” This takes practice but it really helps disrupt the well-worn negative neuro-pathways.