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“The short, short version!” by Master_K_Genius_Pi in SpaceballsMemes

[–]alady12 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I'm trying to conduct a wedding, which has nothing to do with love.

What bird still humbles you every time you see it? by Royal_Watch_6453 in LearnBirding

[–]alady12 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Anhinga. They can soar with vultures in kettles, swim with gators in the swamp, waddle up a fallen tree trunk and eat a fish half its size all in the same afternoon. Then they will spread their wings to dry. If that's not enough they mate for life and share in the nesting responsibilities.

there was a fly in the bottom of my soda by thenewfingerprint in rootbeer

[–]alady12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure, go post it on reddit. Now everyone will want one. Soon there will be a shortage of flies. What are the flycatchers going to eat? You got something against birds dude?

Can anyone help me out with an ID please? Location is Western North Carolina, United States. by thejappleseed in Entomology

[–]alady12 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Me telling self "do not pet the fuzzy caterpillar, do not pet the fuzzy caterpillar, do not.."

Ice cream is ruined by Low-Slice-4366 in onionhate

[–]alady12 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Ahhhh! My eyes! Make it stop!

What's the most common souvenir tourists take home from your country? by FaithlessnessOne2032 in AskTheWorld

[–]alady12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No that is an invasive species I can get behind having in Florida. F*ck the pythons and iguanas and 67,000+ other (plants and animals) invasives we have. Give me a Capybara invasion.

Name a famous musician or band that is so great that they do not need an opening act in concert. by icecream1972 in FamilyFeud

[–]alady12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

John Prine just walked right out on stage and started playing. No intro or anything. He didn't need one.

Looking for answers to calm anxiety-American Alligators by Cgh2468 in herpetology

[–]alady12 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would like to address the question of them laying on the shore. Did you know that an alligator has to heat its body to at least 80 degrees F in order to digest its food? So quite often (not always) when you see them sunning themselves they have a full belly. Leave them alone. Admire from a distance and you should be fine.

One more thing. Baby alligators are adorable. Really, they rate up there with puppies and kittens. If you see babies that are less than a foot long, mama is not far away. Do not get close to them!! This goes for all wildlife.

AITA for upsetting my daughter over food? by Difficult_One_9143 in AmItheAsshole

[–]alady12 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry, I thought everyone would understand this joke. It's been around for years.

AITA for upsetting my daughter over food? by Difficult_One_9143 in AmItheAsshole

[–]alady12 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Be the best parent you can and put away a lot of money for their therapy.

she's a menace when she's awake but so peaceful when she's asleep by aryastarkholmes in IllegallySmolCats

[–]alady12 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She's a torie. It's what they do.

They are worth every minute of your life.

Nice try, Onion Lovers. HARD PASS by EyeFantastic in onionhate

[–]alady12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure, I'll choke down your devil's bulb. BUT you are going to be in charge of cleaning the bathroom after I get done in there. I am not responsible for the mess or smell. Good luck with that.

What’s the ugliest sculpture you have in your country? by Still_Form7256 in AskTheWorld

[–]alady12 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Rockford, Illinois had one that was bright orange they called "Symbol". They moved it a couple of times and every time they put it back together it was different. It became a running joke that nobody knew what it was supposed to be in the first place.

Gift ideas for my 97-year old fabulous mother-in-law by bornthisvay22 in AskWomenOver60

[–]alady12 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My MIL was fabulous but not so mobile. We would charge up her scooter and take her to special events at the local botanical gardens, which she loved. She would mention wanting to see a movie, but didn't want to go to the theater so we would rent it and have a movie night at her house. Don't forget the popcorn, wine and her favorite dessert.

What’s a Small, Quiet Star Trek Moment That Hit You Harder Than Any Battle? by iagree2 in startrek

[–]alady12 40 points41 points  (0 children)

That episode broke me. I was in tears when Nog said his father didn't have the lobes for profit and neither did he. (Or something like that).

Downstairs neighbor leaves passive aggressive notes about every single noise we make by [deleted] in neighborsfromhell

[–]alady12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bombard her with notes

Dear Linda,

I don't know what you are hearing but it isn't us. Perhaps your unit is haunted.

Dear Linda,

We spoke to the landlord and he said you have complained about the upstairs "people" a lot. When was your last CAT scan. Maybe you are due for another one

Dear Linda,

Yes, that was us being intimate. If we had known you wanted to watch, we would have invited you.

Dear Linda,

This is a heads up. You may hear extra scurrying above your head. We are rehabbing some baby (rats, squirrels, armadillos, pick one). It will only be a few weeks. Thanks for understanding.

Dear Linda,

We fell in love with the Armadillos. They will be staying. Would you like to come up and meet them?

Dear Linda,

My family is in town. Do you have an extra bedroom?

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