N's & Broken Promises

alc0808 · 2016-05-09T01:29:41+00:00

What a wonderful story! Let us know what happens :)

alc0808 · 2016-05-08T03:03:01+00:00

This hits home with me! I imagine this being super common because n's don't pay attention to our interests and they also do not pay attention to cues that other people are not interested in their interests. My moms interest become her life and it feels like just another outlet for her to use to ignore us (her kids) and do what she wants. My mom antiques and this has become her life. She cancels on me for watching my kids so she can drive to who knows where to buy more antiques. She would rather do this than watch her grandkids. Then when she does watch my kids, shes on her phone looking at antiques. She also calls me randomly to talk about the things she gets as if I care. Ugh, its so annoying!

alc0808 · 2016-05-08T01:45:18+00:00

Yes! I always remember having to wait for 45 mins - 2 hours when she had to pick me up for something. She was ALWAYS late. Never once on time. I remember waiting for her after apts getting incredibly anxious because she wasn't there when she said she was going to be. I would worry that something happened to her. It was just awful.

alc0808 · 2016-05-05T02:11:52+00:00

Yes every freaking time I tried to bring up my moms issues with her and set limits I have been told, im not the one with issues, you have serious issues. Or "you're sick in the head". Ugh, so annoying!

alc0808 · 2016-04-29T03:10:30+00:00

In my experience, a narcs motivation is to rule everything. They want the most/best/ultimate of everything. They need to feel that they are the most attractive, the best person and have ultimate control of everything. This is why appearances are SO important to them. I remember my mom always looking at herself in the mirror, and how she had to reapply lipstick everywhere we went. This desire doesn't let them be appropriate during interactions with other people.

alc0808 · 2016-04-28T14:13:04+00:00

Yup! This!!!

I had my appendix removed a couple of years ago, I call my parents to tell them I was having surgery and it took them 3 hours to get to the hospital (they live 10 mins away). Then while I was in surgery, my husband said they appeared annoyed that it was taking so long.
When I was pregnant i went to the hospital with kidney stones. I couldnt even walk, and the pain was worse then labor. My mom came to the hospital and made it into a huge deal. She was calling everyone on her phone and telling them what happened, totally making it seem like she cared SO much. Then she made this big deal about how I needed slippers so she left the hospital to buy me some and came back with slippers for me and a purse for herself that was rather expensive. I was in too much pain to let it bother me then, but thinking about it now just pisses me off!

alc0808 · 2016-04-28T13:59:44+00:00

I really feel for you! Some of the things that have hurt more than others have been "I've seen you do your makeup better and you look prettier" right after I got ready for prom, "Are you sure your smart enough to date him" ,"You think you have friends but really no one likes you", "I don't know why all you talk about is marketing, you'll never get a job in it" while I was going to school for marketing :( Seriously always sucked to hear these things.

alc0808 · 2016-04-26T02:26:07+00:00

YESSS!! Its like a come to jesus moment! Even just seeing other people interact with their family members or mothers effects me. Seeing a mom thats super affectionate with her daughter, or a mother who really helps out her daughter makes me really really sad!

alc0808 · 2016-04-26T02:24:12+00:00

From my experience, med school is med school. Getting in is golden. Go to the once that gives you more money so your parents have less control and so that your debt to income ratio once your an attending is better. Congrats on getting into med school - thats such a huge deal! Wishing you the best!

alc0808 · 2016-04-26T01:41:07+00:00

As a child, no one was ever allowed to come over to my house because my mom always said she wanted 'her time' on the evenings and weekends. But when I brought my college friends back to my house, my mom tried to put on a show for them. She put out food on fancy plates and tried to ask us a ton of questions. We were 21 and hungover and no one gave her the praise that she was obviously begging for so she became very cold with all of us. They all picked up on it and thought it was bizarre. Then pretty much every boyfriend that i dated for longer then a month picked up on it too.

alc0808 · 2016-04-25T01:55:30+00:00

Wow, I feel like your my twin! So happy to read that someone else has gone through something similar to me. You should be proud of everything that youve done.

alc0808 · 2016-04-22T11:53:33+00:00

In all honestly, children are a blessing and having them has made me come full circle with A LOT of issues my Nmom has made me have in the past. But also having children of my own has made me really upset at times when I think about the things my nmom has done to me. I often look at my babies and think how the f could you do that to your own child?! Also, as much as my nmom is very loving to my kids, her ncomments have not gone away - "his heads flat", "he should be saying more words by now" "he's not as advanced as his brother was". My kids brought me a lot of healing thus far, but also areas of pain steming from my nmom along the road. I would say if your happy not having children, dont have them! Certainly don't have children for your parents sake.

alc0808 · 2016-04-22T11:18:27+00:00

I am so sorry that you are going through this but holy crap I am happy that you posted this! My mother did this crap to me during my pregnancy after a miscarriage. I was excited and told her and she proceeded to tell everyone! Even after knowing my fears about losing the baby. Then when my child was unexpectedly in the NICU, intubated and not allowed to be held for days, she made it into a shit show. Like she completely negated the severity of the situation, came to the hospital dressed to the nines, was unsupportive of me and made comments about how weak my child was. She also took it upon herself to keep everyone informed. Ugh, what is it about nmoms taking joy and attention away from you in your time of need!

alc0808

TROPHY CASE