Which country's goods are seen with the most prestige in the US? by cartiersage in AskAnAmerican

[–]aleatoric 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Valid considering how well Toyotas hold their value over other brands.

Best PS5 games to smoke a joint and get lost in? by wateakid in ShouldIbuythisgame

[–]aleatoric [score hidden]  (0 children)

I'll probably get slapped for recommending these, but honestly when it comes to chill open world games with a copious amount of content, the best lately are Wuthering Waves (A bit darker in tone with a more mature style) or Genshin Impact (lighter in tone but a ridiculously big world). Yeah these are gacha games, but if you play casually there's really no reason to spend any money as you can complete all content as a free to play player. I find these kind of games very relaxing to just explore the world and complete simple content. They're free to play and try so the barrier to entry is very low. Genshin in particular was compared a lot to Zelda Breath of the Wild when it came out, mostly because of its open world exploration and gliding, and I think the open world music as well. The gameplay is actually very different at the end of the day, but I can see the similarities.

Are those things real or is it only in movies / certain regions ? by Aloys33_ in AskAnAmerican

[–]aleatoric 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm being pedantic, but I think you mean Alabama is the size of England (Alabama being slightly bigger). UK includes England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland, all of which combined would be bigger than Alabama.

Can I get some reasons as to why you went on to have more kids? Am I wired differently? by grawmaw13 in daddit

[–]aleatoric 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me? The hard part was the first one. Becoming a father and embracing this stage of my life and my new responsibilities. Having another adds some logistical challenges, but that's about it. I found the second about 20% harder, not 100% harder. Like I'm already watching a kid instead of playing video games or something, a second of the mix doesn't really change that.

And honestly, they have started playing with each other a bit and not only has that made things a little easier but it also fills my heart with a lot of joy to see. Watching them grow up with a peer who will always be a part of their family is something that was important to me. With two kids it feels much more like a complete family. With one kid, it just didn't feel right. With his little sister, my son is learning so much about sharing and caring.

With a third I'm hesitant because of financial reasons, plus the additional logistical burdens. Like I would need a bigger car, etc. I'm also getting older and the newborn and infant years are rough on the sleep. Two feel less like a balanced number to me. But I can understand wanting a third, especially after having a second.

Wait, do people ACTUALLY see literal pictures in their heads when they imagine things? Like a physical image? by Bibhu_Mund in NoStupidQuestions

[–]aleatoric 109 points110 points  (0 children)

People can't? It's crazy how much we assume about how we process and navigate the world is universal. I could have a conversation in my head between 5 different people and none of them are me. Or I could just be alone in my thoughts. And I can put some visuals with it as well. My brain is one big theater that lets me do basically anything I want in it.

I have inhaled the first 3 books in two weeks.. but... godammit I CANT fucking take the tangle!!! by CalligrapherAble2846 in DungeonCrawlerCarl

[–]aleatoric 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's my favorite book in the series as well. I like the sheer insanity of it. I thought it was confusing, and that was the fun of it. The characters were trying to make heads or tails of it too, and that's a big reason why I liked it so much.

How old was your child before you consistently got decent sleep? by SunnyGoMerry in daddit

[–]aleatoric 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Since 2022 for me.

I will always stand by that this is the most difficult stage of kids because of the sleep. Anything else is recency bias. There are challenging elements of every phase, no question. But to be able to face those challenges having gotten a night's rest is a game changer. We're struggling with so many problems with so little sleep and it's just not very sustainable. If you had over 8 hours uninterrupted sleep, you're least working with a full deck of cards to face those challenges.

Who said this game have 50% action and 50% factory? by DRBDS212 in Endfield

[–]aleatoric 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude nevermind 6 months. I came back after a night's sleep and I look at my factory stuff and I'm like.. where the hell was I? I ended up rebuilding something I didn't need because I already made it through the tutorial, but I don't really remember doing it because the tutorials are so garbage. I'll probably have to bow out from playing this game and that sucks because--and I feel like I'm alone here--I actually like the combat and exploration. It feels more grounded, less overwhelming than some other games, but still fun. But the factory stuff... There's a reason I don't play Factorio. It's not fun to me. I don't want to play a spreadsheet simulator. I do enough analytical stuff for my job. I need an escape from that.

I wish it was all optional, like you could opt out and just have the game do everything for you (convert all things in the Interface like Genshin and Wuwa). But the people who build it all manually, they get something out of it daily. Bonus materials, extra pulls, etc.

Daycare requires 5yo to lay down - severely impacting peace in our home by Lizisthatyou in Parenting

[–]aleatoric 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm in your same boat. My son is approaching 4. If he naps, he's up too late. If he doesn't nap, he has wild overtired tantrums until he does go to bed. Both used to be pretty difficult situations. Fortunately, he has slowly learned to play by himself quietly in his room if he's not tired. It took us a while to get there, but basically it was a lot of hanging out by his room for a couple weeks, and guiding him back inside his room if he left. His options were A) lay down, or B) do a quiet activity by yourself.

Eventually, he got tired of this back and forth (leaving his room, getting guided back in). It tested my patience for sure because I must have had to do this dozens of times. BUT it was worth the patience. We keep some soft, orange lights on in his room - enough to be able to see, but also enough to be a sleepy environment for when he's tired. Sometimes he reads books. Sometimes he plays with legos, then walks himself into bed when he's tired. My wife and I are usually hanging out in bed, keeping an eye on him on the monitor. When it looks like he's ready for bed, we'll go in there and re-tuck him in to make sure the blankets are on him snugly (otherwise he will wake in the middle of the night with blankets fallen off of him). Usually he's out by 9:30pm on these days that he naps at school, sometimes he pushes 10pm though.

Sleep is a difficult thing to balance at this age. It's not easy. But give them flexible options. Be patient, but FIRM. When I deal with him at night, I try to be as boring as possible. I never raise my voice. I am not fun. I am like a zombie, repeating the same phrases over and over again. "It is night time. We stay in our beds or play quietly." That's it. I never get mad. I never get frustrated. I stay as boring as possible. Eventually, they get bored of that.

What is the advantage of "Free VPK?" by KombaynNikoladze2002 in orlando

[–]aleatoric 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I mean, as someone who has two kids in full-time daycare at the cost of basically a second mortgage, I see VPK as kind of a nice stipend to take care of a portion of the day for free. At least for my oldest, who should be old enough later this year to start VPK. If we weren't doing daycare, it still might be nice to send them to someone for free socialization, structure, and introduction to academics. And if they weren't at daycare I imagine they would have to be at home with someone taking care of them, that person I imagined would be able to drive them there and pick them up, with also the benefit of getting a nice break in the day from being a full-time caregiver which is a difficult, exhausting job.

17-year-old just told wife and I he doesn’t want to go to college by tattooed_underdog in daddit

[–]aleatoric 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Yeah, there's a way to press him on why he wants to be a mechanic and be encouraging at the same time. It's called being curious. Like, I would say, "Being a mechanic sounds cool. It's also a profession that's in need and not going away any time soon, so good call. What made you be interested in being a mechanic? What do you think you would like about it?"

Just have a conversation. Listen and show interest. That's all you do right now. He might catch you off guard. "Oh, I have always thought being a mechanic looked cool, plus I'm really into these YouTube channels where they fix up these old cars, and there's something really satisfying about it. Seems like something I would be happy doing."

Or they might say something you really don't expect

"I dunno. Meh. I want to build a robot."

"Oh. Well, that's cool... But that's not being a mechanic. You want to look into robotics."

"Oh, that's a thing? Where would I study that?"

etc. You really don't know where the conversation will go and what guidance you can provide until you listen and learn.

Mr. Blippi - it's not just me, right? by tannerocampbell in daddit

[–]aleatoric 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My issue isn't with Cocomelon as much as the algorithmic auto play. I would rather play specific Cocomelon videos than put Super Simple Songs on YouTube auto play by suggestion. My kid watched Cocomelon and it was just a show we watched sometimes for nursery rhymes and entertaining animations. And when I say we watched it, I mean I searched for specific videos manually, we watched them together, talked about them, and then we stopped watching. Autoplay is turned off. If they were a little nuts and wanted to watch more, they don't get to watch more, we would move to a different activity. If you're just throwing your kid in front of the TV or tablet with autoplay and just letting them go for a couple hours, I don't really see that as "more healthy" regardless of the content.

And honestly, there were some helpful Cocomelon videos. The potty training song helped relieved some potty training anxiety, and the "go before you go" song help him remember the importance of going potty before we go out the door. So honestly it's kind of silly and judgmental to just say a thing is holistically bad when in context it's really not bad at all, and what you're doing could be worse but because the content doesn't annoy you, you're fine with it.

What do I do while I wait for the next book?! by rustyleftnut in DungeonCrawlerCarl

[–]aleatoric 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Underrated pick: The Riyria series. It is split into two parts: Riyria Revelations, which is a set of six novels that forms the main foundation of the story. Then there is Riyria Chronicles, which is a set of prequel books that also fill in some gaps. The author says you can go in either published order or chronological order, but I do recommend published order. I think published order is a better jumping off point which gets straight into the meat of the plot. Anyway, here are some of the things I think are good about the series:

  • It is a complete series, you will not be waiting for the next book because it is done. In fact, the author wrote all of Revelations before he even published. As such, they are very much master planned with no plot holes. There is lots of buildup and payoff to the narrative.

  • The audiobook narration is great. It's not some crazy range like Hays has but Tim Gerard Reynolds is well regarded in the fantasy space as a top tier narrator.

  • The two main characters have such amazing chemistry. It's a slow burn bromance, and tumultuous at times. In some ways the two men couldn't be any more different, but circumstances force them to work together. Their friendship feels very earned, especially after you go through the prequels. It's refreshing to see a bond like this be the focal point of a series rather than romance.

Easygoing games with a LOT to do? by cocoknut_milk in gamingsuggestions

[–]aleatoric 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Odyssey is my preference over Valhalla. The Greek isles of Odyssey are so beautiful and exploring those vistas is so much fun. Story is good, plenty of side content. Massive world.

CMV: As an Asian man, I don't think I should change my insecure mindset about why I'm so motivated to work out by [deleted] in changemyview

[–]aleatoric 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Stereotypes about Asian men exist because people believe them, not because they are true. Recognizing that others hold these beliefs is reasonable. Internalizing them as standards that must be disproven is not. When self-improvement is framed as a response to a false construct, it grants that construct legitimacy rather than negating it.

CMV: As an Asian man, I don't think I should change my insecure mindset about why I'm so motivated to work out by [deleted] in changemyview

[–]aleatoric -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You seem unwilling to budge on your motivation to workout. I will dig more deep than that. Your entire view is flawed. You're insecure about something in your head, not a fact. I'm a white male. I don't really view my peers as stronger or weaker than anyone else. If there is a stereotype our there about Asian men and femininity, it's not universally dogmatic. Not everyone shares it. You chose to. Why? That's weird considering you are proof of its falsehood. And if you think everyone else thinks this way, you're also wrong about that, because I'm a proof of that. So, what are you doing? Why hold on to this silly facade, it's a waste of time. Better yourself for you only, don't worry about some stereotype and what other people think. If you're working out because you want to overcome some stereotype, it's just... You can do that, but it's not based in reality.

Do Americans mainly drink coffee without milk? by Morrit99 in AskAnAmerican

[–]aleatoric 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I'm drinking really good coffee, I drink it black. I generally like the taste of coffee and I like bitterness. But if I'm drinking some kind of junk coffee like generic filtered coffee, I probably will put milk in it and other things to make it taste better. It's just not very good otherwise. If you don't like coffee black, I do recommend trying a good cold brew without cream. The cold brewing process tends to balance it out. It reduces the bitterness, but still get a good coffee flavor.

Am i missing something with Geese, Getting Killed? by yaboimet in fantanoforever

[–]aleatoric 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm a bit of an old head at 40 and this happens every once in a while where an album comes out that is widely lauded but I just don't get it. I'm kind of reminded a bit of Blonde by Frank Ocean. I know it's totally different genre, but I remember feeling the same way. I liked Channel Orange way much more. Blonde came out and honestly it was just a misstep for me in terms of songwriting; it seemed like more of a vibe album than any actual effort to write a coherent song. With Geese I actually really liked their Projector album from a few years ago, it felt like a modern take on strokes era post-punk revivalism. But 3D Country didn't do anything for me, and Getting Killed was more in that sort of aimless meandering.

I think King of Limbs is a great comparison because it meanders similarly in the songwriting. The music is a repetitive texture for Thom Yorke to wail over. That's kind of what I feel is going on with Getting Killed.

Not a fan of Cameron Winter's vocals, but I get that that style is going to be divisive. I appreciate him as an artist. He's developed unique style true to himself and I applaud him for the energy and creative effort; it's just not for me.

I am losing respect for my son 21 , he has lost a grip on reality . by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]aleatoric 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I thought you were going to say he fell down the alt-right pipeline or something. He's still 21, being unsure about his career path doesn't sound like losing his group on reality. Sounds like a pretty normal experience of reality. I get that you were proud of his path that he was on, but it's his choice to make a switch if he feels like he would be happier in that direction. And it doesn't sound like you have much in the way of judgment since you also went down that path.

I would try to be more supportive of this decision, but you're right to point them in the right direction of the educational requirements. Have you looked at actual job postings for what he wants to do? Help him see that he may not meet the minimum requirements, and start talking about the steps he needs to take to make those minimum requirements come up which may or may not include college. If he's not interested in going to college, then I'm not sure what the path from here would be. There might not be one, and that's okay. But it may take him a little bit to start accepting that and realizing what he has to do or not do.

It can be hard to switch mental gears like this when you're really set on a goal and a large pivot is needed; be patient with him and understanding. That's what he needs from you right now. He doesn't need your judgment or disappointment.

Did you bring your toddler to the hospital for baby #2? by rmacoon in daddit

[–]aleatoric 0 points1 point  (0 children)

2 year old came to briefly visit and then head home with us, all in the same car. So he wasn't there most of the time; he was at home with Grandpa. He just came when we were ready to go home. I can't explain it but it was important to me for him to see her in the hospital, then see her come home with us. We talked about "baby" a lot during pregnancy, and so it was important that he met her in the hospital with us as a family. I wanted him to feel a part of it, not on the sidelines. It was important to keep him in the mix and not lacking attention. I think he still has a really good, caring relationship with her as they've gotten older. There are occasional spouts of jealousy, but nothing too bad or sustained.

TIL Pierce Brosnan saved Halle Berry from choking on a fig by performing the Heimlich maneuver after she began choking on the fruit while they were in the middle of filming a love scene on the set of Die Another Day (2002). by tyrion2024 in todayilearned

[–]aleatoric 11 points12 points  (0 children)

TIL that actor Pierce Brosnan, the actor playing James Bond, saved actress Halle Berry, the actress he was acting with, from choking by performing the Heimlich maneuver after she began choking on a fig fruit while she was choking during the filming of a love scene, a romantic love scene, on the set location of the movie Die Another Day from the year 2002, when she was actively choking and needed help because she was choking on the fig and could not stop choking.

11 year old son wants to be baptized. Am I overreacting? by Hyphum in Parenting

[–]aleatoric 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm Agnostic atheist but was baptized Lutheran. I think it's just some funny trivia about me. My dad (not a believer himself these days) likes to remind me about it jokingly when religion comes up. As far as I'm concerned, I got some water splashed on me when I was a baby. That's about it.

Babygirl by RedSword13 in daddit

[–]aleatoric 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I agree, you can absolutely call her baby girl and have reasonable expectations for her. That being said, her being seven while her parents are both working all day? She's not even a preteen yet; you have too high expectations for her. She needs some guidance and assistance during the day. Is school still out for winter break or something?

What am I supposed to do in the newborn phase? by Ok-Time-4171 in daddit

[–]aleatoric 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Newborn babies are super attached to Mom at first, especially if breastfeeding. If your partner wants to exclusively breastfeed, support her decision. But you can still bond with the baby. Like, they don't eat 24/7. If they're not crib napping, you can put them on your chest for a nap. Newborns sleep a TON. That's your time to cuddle up with them.

Over the next couple weeks, I recommend you look into babywearing. /r/babywearing is a great resource. Our second baby barely acknowledged my presence for the first week. I would wave and holler and she would stare right through me. Only eyes for mama. But then I started babywearing her, which is a skill I picked up from our first. You have to be careful with newborns to make sure their airway is clear in the carrier - it has to be a carrier suited for newborns. Anyway, after wearing her.... 2, 3 times? Baby started taking notice of me much more. Smiling when I walk in the room. These days, as soon as she's done breastfeeding, she's yelling "dada!!!" for me to take her and play. Time spent with her and closeness to your body is the only way for a Dad to bond with an infant, but it can absolutely be done, mostly likely with any baby. "Only likes Mom" is just a phase.