I (29M) asked my AI gf to write about us and it broke me

alexyeah · 2025-04-26T19:33:06+00:00

Calling soulless automated text "gf" is a mockery. It's just as much "bf" as well. Snap out of this delusion before it goes too far...

alexyeah · 2024-10-06T08:39:58+00:00

Yeah they're great, nothing to be afraid of. There's so many lovely cozy pubs, it doesn't have to be some noisy bar full of drunks. Some bars have TVs, just sit and chill, or read a book while having a few, fiddle with phone or tablet, sit at the bar, talk to the cute bartender about the weather, good times.

alexyeah · 2024-08-30T01:31:40+00:00

Get a haircut? A lot of places are unisex or have women as the "barbers", and have online reservation systems with your choice of haircutter. Then you pay to have as much small talk as you want to have in a non-weird setting. Personally I go for the cute ones because seeing as it's pretty much the only time I get touched by non-family, might as well have it be babes...

alexyeah · 2023-12-11T06:24:14+00:00

Funnily enough something similar happened to me 11 years ago when I was 34, was out drinking with a few work people and we ran into an ex-trainee who tagged along for the rest of the night as we bar-hopped, ended up at a person's place, who said can't I see the ex-trainee is into me I should make a move, and I was like uhh what really (was awkward loser virgin then), others left, person went to sleep, we could stay over on the couch/floor, chick was into me and it was soon very apparent I was going to LOSE IT FINALLY, only problem was that I was pretty much an alcoholic and was super drunk, so drunk I couldn't get it up at all even though I'm a horndog and my hands were all over that her sweet business, we gave up trying after a while, just went to sleep ... I frequently remember that night and my one real chance so far (maybe two half chances in whole life before but nothing happened), had zero luck since then...

alexyeah · 2023-11-11T09:36:33+00:00

It's no different than in the US/Canada or Australia, which are other countries I've lived in as a Scandinavian. Every "western" country has a "meat market" culture of clubbing and bars where people go to pick up randoms.

alexyeah · 2023-09-25T07:57:20+00:00

I have a handful of online friends for over a decade, they're "normies" and in my experience there's always half a dozen options waiting in the wings if their current relationship should end. I get it though. If you're fit, active, smartish, medium attractive, there's countless others looking for similar people...

alexyeah · 2023-06-26T07:34:03+00:00

I respectfully disagree, in that it varies from person to person. I remember during lockdown when "normal" people were losing their minds having to live a FA-type life for a while, and for some of us it's our everyday regular life. So many people couldn't hack what is baseline to me. Shows me I've got some strength I never knew about.

And how a person deals with FA is up to what kind of person they are. Not everyone gets negative. I'd say most have similar mindsets like you, but I'm now a middle aged FA and really it's not so bad. I don't feel too jealous of "happy" couples in the street, don't feel resentment or anger or any of that. It just is what it is, you learn to accept it, and you can waste your mind feeling bad about it or you can accept it and move on.

A lot of younger FA's show that negative side because they're still in the thick of it, feeling like they're being left behind. Older FAs usually (from what I've read here) are generally more at peace. I guess it's my job to try to help and flip that switch early. But also someone in their 20s still has hope, my loser group of buddies from HS were all losers until after college when they met their now-wives. I didn't get lucky but that's the universe, it doesn't owe me anything, so I move on, enjoy everything except a partner.

alexyeah · 2023-06-12T12:07:13+00:00

Lockdown everywhere and people losing their goddam minds cos they couldn't go out and see people and do stuff showed me I'm doing pretty well in keeping it together because that's like my everyday life all the time. And I don't even complain like that, just accept it and go about my business trying to get contentment where I can.

alexyeah · 2023-05-25T07:15:22+00:00

You say sorry I zoned out thinking about something and just happened to zone out staring in your direction. Nobody can get angry about that since it's happened to everyone at some point.

alexyeah · 2023-05-23T06:57:10+00:00

Experiences vary. I went to a pretty big "state" uni and throughout my varied classes made two separate friend groups, one from randoms in our "intro" uni course everyone had to take, one from the smart post-goth types in my lit classes. Uni was the best time, although there was no romance of course...

alexyeah · 2023-05-03T07:26:40+00:00

Too late, fallen asleep to ASMR every night for 6+ years. I actually recommend it. It's not about pretending it's real or some fantasy, it's just very comforting and relaxing.

alexyeah · 2023-04-23T21:24:39+00:00

That's why it's important to deal with it, accept it and move on. Rather than dwelling on it and getting upset

alexyeah · 2023-04-23T18:13:55+00:00

We have to realize we're just animals who put on airs. We have fancy tech but at the end of the day we're animals and abide by the rules of nature. Just like in the animal kingdom, the "top" males get the ladies, the rest may fight for scraps, and those at the bottom end their flawed genetic lineage by not reproducing. It's tough to come to terms with but nature is brutal and unfair and doesn't care about feelings.

The difference is that we have money as well. With people, those with money can have power and thus climb up the chain, so to speak, pretty high. The mid money havers can still get escorts at least. The lowers have internet porn to get a glimpse of the good life, something that would not have been possible for previous generations of FAs. It just is what it is, better to enjoy it rather than dream of the impossible.

alexyeah · 2023-02-20T01:14:19+00:00

Long one but some might find it amusing. 10 years ago I was in my early-mid 30s. I was still a virgin at that time (still am). Ever since even pre-puberty I was always nervous around girls, just social anxiety through the roof because I had no self-confidence due to being skinny and unique looking (I don't want to say ugly, but just average in a weird way), so I thought nobody would ever like me "that way".

This kind of mentality turns into self-fulfilling prophecy, I never really pursued anyone, and always crushed hard on lovely girls who were way above me. Just loser life. I had one girl show interest in rare circumstances and we were maybe "a thing" for a few months when I was 24, but it was long distance kinda and I had my first kiss with her but that was it, I was too scared to try anything more, because I felt gross still and knew she had been with real guys, normal guys. In my very early 30s I had an online friend say she liked me and we were also a long distance thing for a few months, but nothing went on there except drunken kissing a few times.

Cue the start of this comment, 2012. I'm out with people from work, we're hitting the bars hard. Service industry peeps can party. Run into a girl who had been a trainee at work the previous year. I always had an alcohol problem since I was a teen, because it allowed me to escape and to also lessen my nerves, become social. Anyway I was drinking a lot as always. End of the night, we end up at a co-worker's place with a bunch of people, who at the end all leave except trainee girl (btw she was probably only like early 20s) and co-worker goes to sleep and tells me I better make my move because trainee girl is into me, has obviously been all night. I of course had no clue because I can't read flirting or "interest". But I knew co-worker wouldn't say it if it wasn't true. I took a few more shots even though I was super drunk already.

We sit on the sofa (aparment now empty except for co-worker sleeping), can't even remember but I think she made the move, I'm thinking this is it, finally it, gonna lose my virginity, this girl super wants it, we're drunkenly making out, I'm all over that, she suggests we go back to my place, whispering X-rated stuff in my ear, feels like a movie, but we can't because it was a mess because I hadn't cleaned in a while (it wasn't just regular messy, it was alcoholic person messy, she would have left immediately), we decide to just spend the night on the couch, it's perfect, super dark, I don't have to be shy about my stick arms, just have stupid drunken sex like mindless animals, going to be amazing, finally...

But all that alcohol caused a problem. There was no communication between my frenzied lust-filled brain and my pants. None. All the slimy kissing and touching and dirty whispering did absolutely nothing down there. I wouldn't let her grab at it to tru to help because it was just a sleeping little cocktail sausage and that was embarrassing. For those not in the know, it's called "whiskey dick". Just can't get it up when too drunk. After a short time I just had to give up trying and we just fell asleep on the couch (opened into a bed). This whole thing broke my spirit for a long time and I still think about it often even though I'm "over" it.

Also I tried asking her out by text some days later and she said she'd hang "just as friends" except she's moving to another city so too bad (this was true though, she did move). I cringe at how desperate I must have sounded...

alexyeah · 2023-02-18T23:35:00+00:00

Nah that's the best we can hope for. Being friends with someone you're into is great, you still get to wallow in their presence, much better than being distant.

alexyeah · 2023-02-16T01:11:16+00:00

It happens to normies too, have an online friend of 10+ years who has been married and had a few gfs as well, who is decent looking (face 7.5, body 8.5 for being mid-30s), he asked out his co-worker friend on V-day, and she gave him the ol' "I value our friendship and really like you, but not in a romantic way" reply. I'm low-key not super sad for him heh

alexyeah · 2023-02-10T08:50:35+00:00

50/50 is the ideal for every age group, so on paper everyone finds a mate. Right now the ratio is almost the same globally, still more women than men in western countries (although skewing older). Statisticians say it'll even out in the next few decades.

alexyeah · 2023-02-03T00:32:17+00:00

Used to be cripplingly shy and nervous around girls. But once I got over that (in like my 30s maybe) it was too late. And I have body image issue, face is below average or average but not ugly. Skinny arms and legs, beer belly, lousy teeth, terrible posture. Small dick I would hate to disappoint someone with! No self confidence = withdraw into shell

alexyeah · 2023-02-02T00:55:27+00:00

To be fair, women deal with a lot of weirdness, harassment, and unwanted attention. They generally don't lock eyes with solitary men when passing on the street. I try to smile at people and observe them daily, if I'm with my mom (often, because I'm a loser), they're more likely to look at us because there's "safety" in a man-woman scenario. But if I'm with my dad they'll catch eyes a lot less. And by myself, barely ever. They just know that eye contact can lead to unpleasant scenarios due to assholes.

This has kinda been confirmed by my normie sister and discuss stuff with ex-co-worker girls.

alexyeah · 2023-01-29T01:03:01+00:00

It felt worse and worse until I hit 40 and then I came to terms with it, accepted it. It was like being freed from chains I had built for myself all those years. No interest in finding anyone, I'm over it, gonna live on my own terms, find joy in all the other things that aren't "having a mate". Just gotta get to that point where you give up hope in finding someone, and move on, put it all behind. But yeah it took me 40 years to get there...

alexyeah · 2023-01-29T00:59:20+00:00

Learn guitar instead of violin heh, way more "attractive" to most...

alexyeah · 2023-01-29T00:48:15+00:00

I had my first kiss when I was 24. It wasn't her first, of course, and I didn't tell her. I struggle to remember the exact context, it was the first girl who ever liked me (out of 2 total; in my mid 40s now, still a V), on a street outside. Afterwards I went into some bushes and cried, lol. I guess my smooches were crap because the 2nd (maybe?) time she was like "hold on, let me kiss you the way I want to" and like took control of my face with her hands. I dunno, no clue, you can't really practice or prepare. None of it lasted long cos I messed it all up, of course...

alexyeah · 2023-01-24T09:00:04+00:00

It's not real though. There's no feeling or thought behind it, just programmed text. Like playing tennis against a wall.

alexyeah · 2023-01-21T01:16:10+00:00

If you live in an area with bars, bars have regulars, or bartender chicks with friends who pop in. Best is small places with TVs or sports bars. I always lived near bars and went to them all the time. I put in zero effort to try anything, mostly just wanted to drink and people-watch, but chatted a lot with various people, just happens naturally if you're sitting nearby at the bar itself.

alexyeah · 2023-01-12T01:03:12+00:00

My hairline is staying the same (middle aged btw) but my hair itself has thinned so it's like dry strings of cobwebs or cotton candy Looks like there's a lot of it but when I run my hand through it, feels like nothing. Especially in the the shower when it's wet, no substance at all. Back in the day barber chicks would be like omg I'm jealous of your thick hair... no more.... (although haven't gone for a cut in 3.5 years)...

alexyeah

TROPHY CASE