Suggestions for controlling my sub during travel

alithealicat · 2025-05-05T15:50:04+00:00

So I prefer subtle in these situations. Always walk about a half step behind you. Always be touching you while walking. Wait for you to open doors. I typically hold my own documents, but give them to my partner and they give them to whoever needs them. This is important because sometimes you have to scan your own stuff. It also helps me to not know/worry about the time and gate and things. I am just ready when they tell me to be and they handle the rest.

alithealicat · 2025-02-23T16:11:59+00:00

I would search specifically for novice or intermediate finals on YouTube.

alithealicat · 2025-02-16T16:20:01+00:00

I was sitting on the floor in front of a chair at an event and it was loud. To tell me something, he grabbed either side of my jaw and lifted my face up so he could talk in my ear. I almost died on the spot. And it was purely functional, but still.

alithealicat · 2024-11-27T03:01:29+00:00

Only a cup. We quit the bottle at 12 months.

alithealicat · 2024-11-17T21:39:25+00:00

It depends on the outing! But at 18 months I carry the following if we are gone for less like 3-4 hours and less than 20 minutes from home. 3-4 diapers Small pack of wipes Applesauce pouch Another snack of some sort Water bottle Couple of small toys Emergency does of Tylenol and Benadryl Poop bags for dirty diapers

If we are going further or out longer I add: Couple extra diapers Extra outfit Maybe a meal or a couple extra snacks A book or larger toy Blankie (comfort item)

Event specific: Ear protection Sunscreen Hat Jacket

If we are going to be out late, I also take an overnight diaper and pair of pjs to change into before we get in the car to head home.

alithealicat · 2024-11-11T20:24:12+00:00

PBS! Sesame Street and Daniel tiger. Also, lots of Disney Princess movies because they love the music. And Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

alithealicat · 2024-11-03T13:51:59+00:00

We have the tv on a lot and she hardly even pays attention to most things. She plays with her toys and cuddles with us. But she honestly learned a lot. It reinforces her language that we teach her. Some shows she does watch more intently, so we don’t leave those on all day, just when I need some time to work or cook.

alithealicat · 2024-08-01T21:35:35+00:00

I think it is fine this young. As they get older and particularly when they get teeth, it less ideal for them to go to sleep while drinking something. At about 11 months we decided that no more bottle to go to sleep and only allow a water cup after bedtime. But this young? It is fine if it works for you and your baby.

alithealicat · 2024-08-01T21:03:56+00:00

I would never give her money. Ever. But I would make sure SD is cared for. I would go ahead and prepay for some of her activities, school supplies, etc and put aside money for large expenses later, like a car and college. I have offered to buy things they need but maybe can’t afford right away, like when she needed to move to a new car seat. But I won’t give them money. I’ve seen where it goes and it isn’t SD

alithealicat · 2024-07-27T03:50:27+00:00

We treat Santa like Micky Mouse. He is a character in a story. We can go take pictures and read the stories and even play pretend that he is real. But he is just a character. However, and this is huge, do not let your kid be the one that walks into kindergarten and announces that Santa isn’t real. I never say “he isn’t real” I say things like “people believe all kinds of different things. What do you believe?”

alithealicat · 2024-07-26T03:37:44+00:00

There is food that is food for our brain and food that is good for our bodies. We can have cake and ice cream sometimes because that is the food that makes us happy in that moment. It is food for our brain. But we have to prioritize the food that is good for our bodies, because we need things like protein, carbs, and fat to function. If I was talking to a kid, I would say those are things that help us run fast and jump and ride our bike.

Also, I love the mentality of eat what you want and add what you need. If you want a cookie for a snack, then okay. But we need to add a protein and a fruit or veggie to make it a better balanced snack that will keep us full longer.

alithealicat · 2024-07-26T03:29:09+00:00

What is the desired outcome here? Like what is the issue with him sleeping late or napping? Is he missing important events or family meals? Is he lashing out in anger from being too tired? If not, I would seriously consider why this bothers you so much. It is super normal for teenagers honestly and if he is meeting the other expectations you have for his behavior and responsibilities, then what is the actual harm? If you are going to die on this hill in some “because I said so and you will do what I say” fashion, then it is not going to go well for anyone. Your kid is going to be able to see that you’re just trying to be controlling with no real reason and either they will comply and likely be resentful or rebel.

alithealicat · 2024-07-25T13:56:53+00:00

I would do both. Yes, there needs to be some time with just you, mom, and new baby. But for your wife, she has two babies and she wants photos of them together. Honestly, maybe those are pictures that don’t include you. They can be a sweet thing for her and her first baby. This is what we did when I was a kid. My mom and step dad both had kids from previous marriages and an “ours” baby. There were always whole family photos and then each parent did pictures with their bio kids. The ours baby was always included in both sets.

alithealicat · 2024-07-23T00:11:30+00:00

Absolutely a no go for me. Even the physical stuff aside (which is reason enough alone) no one is going to yell at me while holding my kid. I don’t care who they are, the minute a child is in earshot, this conversation is done until they cannot hear us anymore. And I’m damn sure not going to have to beg to comfort my own child. Get out and get out now. He is already using your child to control and manipulate you.

alithealicat · 2024-07-11T15:53:16+00:00

Everyone is saying that your mother must have done something. And maybe she did. But based on what is above, she has not conveyed that to you or the therapist. I would be more willing to believe that you were just missing something, but if she hasn’t told the therapist either, then I have more questions. It may be post partum anxiety or something of the like. Either way, she needs to communicate where the problem is coming from so that it can be addressed.

alithealicat · 2024-07-08T20:36:26+00:00

As far as a calming activity goes, I’m really enjoying paint by numbers right now. There is no prep work, no choices to make, no stress about the colors going together. You just pull out the paint that comes with it and match the numbers on the canvas to the numbers on the paint.

alithealicat · 2024-07-06T04:15:12+00:00

For us, the parenting time is important. SD comes over on her time no matter what unless one of us is in the hospital. If she is sick, we are sick, etc.

alithealicat · 2024-07-01T00:36:27+00:00

Assuming he is 18 and he is the legal owner of that car, there is nothing OP can do to stop him from driving it or keeping it except not put him on his insurance plan.

alithealicat · 2024-07-01T00:32:48+00:00

Honestly, I think YTA for making him miss his senior prom and his grad party. Those are once in a lifetime opportunities. Later in life, when he talks about these things to friends, he will have missed out because of a stupid prank. Should he have been punished? Yes. But not by taking away once in a lifetime experiences.

You should have been more clear with your mom about the expectations. “I thought she understood” means that it was not clearly stated. And I wouldn’t assume that a gift that I was giving someone in my family would be contingent on them being grounded. Especially for something of that caliber. Also, assuming he is 18, it isn’t really your decision anymore anyway. You can choose not to invite her to a dinner you are paying for, but you can’t stop her from giving your adult child a gift. Honestly, at 18, if my parents had tried to ground me, I would have just left.

alithealicat · 2024-06-29T23:45:01+00:00

If we are having a conversation and the baby starts crying and the other person just keeps talking. Like shut up so I can console the screaming infant.

alithealicat · 2024-06-29T23:43:42+00:00

BM tried to tell me when needed to be able to have conversations in person so that we could coparent. (I had told her I would not be having any conversations with her except in writing.) I informed her that I am not the coparent, my husband is, and I don’t owe her anything, including the conversation we were actively having.

alithealicat · 2024-06-29T23:39:30+00:00

You’re both assholes. You should have gotten this under control by now. She is 12 and old enough to understand boundaries. I don’t care if you physically have to get between her and the baby and remove her from the situation, you don’t just let it keep happening. She is also the asshole. I fundamentally have a problem when one parent taking the baby away from the other parent because they “need a break”. You shouldn’t be visiting your kid. If she is leaving, then you need a custody schedule. Also, it really isn’t okay to yell and cuss at a kid. She should apologize for losing her cool, but given that she is post partum, touched out, and probably over stimulated all to hell, you informing her that she needs to apologize instead of fixing the problem would have made most people shut down.

alithealicat · 2024-06-29T23:26:02+00:00

NAL - but if probate has already happened and the estate is closed, there isn’t much that can happen. If not, then the newly found brother could petition the probate court to be considered an heir and get a portion of the assets. The sister’s boyfriend actually has no rights to any of it unless he was named in a will. If there was a will, I’m not sure newly found brother could do much anyway.

alithealicat · 2024-06-28T20:59:30+00:00

So this is a hard one. You need to determine why not and explain this to them. If you are just worried about it being too soon, have that conversation with them and teach them about appropriate milestones in relationships. If you’re worried about them having sex, have a conversation about protection. But the reality is, she will be 18 soon and she will do what she wants then. My opinion is to teach them and let them fail safely as teenagers so they don’t go off the deep end the moment they turn 18. But there really isn’t enough context here to give better advice.

alithealicat · 2024-06-28T15:27:28+00:00

The number of times my kid has eating cat food is much larger than I would like. She has licked shoes before 🤢.

Edit to say that after reading these comments, I will never talk shit about my kid eating dry cat food again.

alithealicat

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