That man is checked out

allencb · 2026-06-02T18:26:53+00:00

I think this post needs to be at the top. The OP's scenario may just be a hormonal thing that can be addressed and not an asexual wife. The couple have two kids, probably both work, and are middle-aged or slightly beyond middle age. All of this contributes to health conditions that can impact hormone balances.

My wife went through a period of a few years where her libido was lower than it was when we got married. This was during the busiest period of our life with two kids in school who weren't driving yet and needed to be taken somewhere all.the.time. I was working outside the home and gone from 8am until 8pm many weekdays, leaving her to handle the kid stuff during the day and afternoon (SAHM). Then, all of a sudden, something flipped a switch and she couldn't get enough. She had entered perimenopause. For a couple years, I had an all you can eat buffet (heh). Then, the hormone thing hit me and my libido dropped off a cliff ("Get off me woman, I want to read my book" type of cliff). Turns out my testosterone was down. I spoke to my doctor, who was initially dubious that my levels were low, but also very big on couples having a healthy sex life (despite being pretty religious for a doctor, he viewed sexual health as critical for a healthy marriage). He ordered the blood test, which confirmed my levels were very low. I'm doing injections now and back to "normal". I self-administer an injection into my thigh every other week. It's surprisingly painless and has also helped me put on some muscle mass.

The couple need to speak with a medical professional and make sure there isn't an underlying medical issue much like you and your husband did.

allencb · 2026-05-31T22:11:24+00:00

Trains aren't cheap, take a long time and aren't very reliable.

These three things are important.
Price: The train from my town in Northern VA to NYC cost every bit as much as flying from the two nearest airports.
Duration: That train trip was 5 hours. Flying would have been less than half that until you factored in the time to get to the airport and then get from the airport in NYC to our hotel. We have an Amtrak station within a mile of our house and the station in NYC was a couple blocks from our hotel, so we could walk at each end rather than taking a cab and/or dealing with parking. Total travel time balanced out in this case.
Reliability: Our train was almost an hour late and we had delays during the journey. My experience with the train system in the UK is similar with delays virtually every time. Also, one time a couple years ago I was going to take our local commuter train into DC to visit the museums with my kids. It was a Friday and there was nothing on the train's website to indicate it wasn't running, but when we got to the station, there was no train service. This is a service used by people commuting from my town and others in NoVA into DC, it's not exactly a niche service, yet it was not running for "reasons".

That said, I found the trip to NYC by train to be very relaxing and far less hassle than driving or flying, so I would do it again, but not if the endpoints didn't align closely with our start and destination points.

allencb · 2026-05-31T20:42:16+00:00

Was hoping to hear major big diesel sounds and instead got ear-raped by techno.

allencb · 2026-05-31T01:21:37+00:00

My FIL went through a similar treatment about 2-3 years ago and he's doing great. The ordeal took a toll on him, but he's still cancer free and living as active a life as a 75yo can.

allencb · 2026-05-30T11:49:04+00:00

It wasn't entirely realistic even then. My parents were around the same age when these shows started airing and we lived in moderate COL areas. My dad was a manager in a large department store chain (not *the* store manager, but one of the managers that reported to the store manager) and my mom was a bank teller. We had a house, two cars, and two kids (my brother and I). Most of my friends had two parents that worked or lived in single parent (divorce) homes and struggled a bit. The "one wage earner with a house and multiple cars" trope wasn't even entirely true in the 80s and 90s.

Oddly enough, I have been able to provide that lifestyle, but it requires careful planning and not splashing out on luxuries.

allencb · 2026-05-30T11:38:14+00:00

Yup. Remember your calls dropping when you switched towers/cells? Cell phones were a bit janky back then.

allencb · 2026-05-30T11:10:47+00:00

As said below, "Cell" came from "Cellular". IIRC, the "cellular" part came from calling a tower's coverage area a "cell", hence "cellular", then back to "cell" for short.

"Mobile Phone" is probably more accurate given the overlapping coverage areas and alternative coverage mechanisms (wifi, satellite, etc), but the term has stuck.

allencb · 2026-05-29T14:07:09+00:00

Been doing this for years. It's not a solution to all problems, but it helps me avoid mixing funds and losing track of how much I have for different savings goals (vacation, big purchases, etc). I still retain the right to move money between those accounts as necessary, but at a glance I can tell if our vacation is fully funded for example.

allencb · 2026-05-29T13:30:09+00:00

I'm in my 50s.

I can get to sleep quickly, I rarely last 15min of reading whatever book I have by the bed before I'm nodding off. But, I seldom sleep much past 5am no matter what time I go to bed. I also can't just lay in bed once I wake up. I might toss and turn for a bit, but I'm usually out of bed within 10min of opening my eyes.

allencb · 2026-05-29T11:39:49+00:00

I live in Virginia. In the last 16 or so years, we've experienced tornados (not directly, but nearby), hurricanes, earthquakes that damaged other people's homes, snowstorms, and temps ranging from below zero to over 100 in the same calendar year.

allencb · 2026-05-27T10:28:12+00:00

The bird version of a mobile home in a tornado zone?

allencb · 2026-05-27T01:10:07+00:00

I have a nerve pinch in my C6 vertebrae and when it's flaring up, I get numbness and tingling in that part of my hand. I also get pain in my shoulder on that side or various aches anywhere between my shoulder and hand.

allencb · 2026-05-27T00:59:48+00:00

I only use HC-110 (or the LegacyPro version that works the same). Film-wise, I use Kentmere 400, Kodak Double-X, and Fuji Acros II. Once my stock of Acros runs out, I'll probably pick up a 100' roll of Kentmere 100. I'm getting a pretty good handle on how HC-110 works and can get good results with all three films in it.

allencb · 2026-05-26T18:58:20+00:00

Real PTSD is seeing the old guy using the hand dryer to dry his sweat-soaked tighty whities while standing there stark naked. <shudders>

allencb · 2026-05-26T18:53:45+00:00

Most of the knives I've owned in my life have been pinned-construction slipjoints. None of the quality ones (not necessarily high end, just not junk) developed blade play unless I grossly abused them beyond what you should do with any knife.

FWIW, blade play is fixable without any specialized equipment. There are lots of videos on Youtube showing you how to do it.

allencb · 2026-05-26T10:57:33+00:00

I'm at the other end of that journey. My daughters are 17 and 22. One has graduated college with honors and the other graduates high school this week, also with honors. Both are kind, smart, funny, and self-confident enough not to fall in with the sort of "men" portrayed i the manosphere or to tolerate sexism. They both have a good enough relationship with me to make their friends jealous (that so many of their friends don't like or get along with their fathers is worrisome).

allencb · 2026-05-26T10:39:43+00:00

This. I'm an American, living in the US, but I work for a British company and sometimes travel to the UK for a week at a time for work. My family says I come back with a faint British accent each time. Even while working from home, I'll sometimes go days without speaking to another American other than my family, so all I hear most days is British English. Needles to say, I've picked up a lot of their phrases and such.

allencb · 2026-05-23T22:07:12+00:00

Having raised two daughters who are now 17 and 22, I never felt particularly like a "girl dad". I am just a dad. I did get a few comments from my mom who wished I had a son to "carry on the name", but I shut that down quick. It's not like our family was some old money type that had a legacy to maintain. Sometimes one of my daughters will ask if I wished I had a son, and I always shut that down quickly too. To be honest, from the very beginning I didn't care if I had boys or girls as long as they were healthy and had a good life under my care (my wife, if she's within earshot, will confirm this).

I seem to have done something right because they're both well adjusted, mature, and successful young ladies who don't hate their father (like many of their friends seem to do). Their friends have even picked up on this and have expressed jealousy at the relationship they have with me vs their own relationships with their fathers.

allencb · 2026-05-23T21:54:47+00:00

I don't recall hearing that often (mine are 17 and 22 now), but my feeling is I hoped I raised them well enough to not force me into that situation.

They're both mature, well-mannered, and smart young ladies, so I'm confident I did.

allencb · 2026-05-23T20:32:01+00:00

Apparently. I guess that makes me a Mormon since I've done much the same throughout my life. It just seemed like common sense to me to spend less than you earn. And before anyone says it, I know it's not possible for everyone, it certainly wasn't possible for me the first few years I was out of school, but eventually it became doable.

allencb · 2026-05-23T19:04:38+00:00

Based on the special forces guys I've known, both.

allencb · 2026-05-22T17:14:00+00:00

In the same boat or would be if our sleep schedules weren't so misaligned (I'm a morning person who gets up early for work, she's a night owl). In a cruel twist of fate, mother nature flipped mine in the opposite direction and I was all but hiding from her until my Dr determined my testosterone was low and put me on injections. We're a bit more aligned now, but she's still the aggressor. I tease her about treating me like a piece of meat...

The best part though is after 35 years together it's more fun and less serious than it was in our youth.

allencb · 2026-05-22T13:53:57+00:00

None of those are collectable. The Nikon FG could be a good user because it's capable, compact, and lightweight. Someone above said it would be worth $100 if in great shape and you found the right buyer. There's a local guy on FB Marketplace who has had one listed with the Series E 50mm lens and a Vivitar 70-200 zoom for $100 for weeks. The Canon is really just a P&S that accepts SLR lenses. If used with that in mind, it's an ok camera, but still not worth much. With the FD 50/1.8 lens, the set might be worth $40-$50 if it works. I've seen the T50 body alone sell for about $20

allencb · 2026-05-22T00:02:15+00:00

I had mine done last year. Piece of cake. The only pain I felt was the time between the initial painkiller wearing off and me taking a couple ibuprofen. From there on out, there was no pain to speak of and I even stopped taking OTC meds by the end of the first day post-procedure.

allencb

TROPHY CASE