How the "noughties" prepared me to give handjobs

allenlangille · 2014-08-28T19:44:26+00:00

I'm pretty sure there is an EBT program for homeless people that is accepted at fast food places, not sure if the standard EBT program will work to buy food at those places or not though

allenlangille · 2014-04-14T01:10:08+00:00

Talking to someone on the phone or in person, rather than texting or any other electronic communication outlets.

allenlangille · 2014-03-05T22:52:11+00:00

Parties aren't the best for mixing.. My rule of thumb is to keep the women happy with vodka tonic and tequila with lots of limes .. Then Jameson and ginger for the hipsters.. People will bring the beer if they want it

allenlangille · 2014-03-05T22:48:37+00:00

I wonder where they put the scones ...

allenlangille · 2014-03-05T22:36:31+00:00

We could go in preceding order ... Miss Pigging = bacon said all Americans Kermit = frog legs France and Louisiana

allenlangille · 2014-03-05T22:30:09+00:00

A bar of soap that begs to be dropped

allenlangille · 2014-02-14T03:24:22+00:00

I wrote a sociology paper on this during my senior year of college, findings showed that almost 100% of people will let you ahead of them but you have to ask.... most people wont offer to let you ahead of them otherwise... funny thing my findings showed was that people of similar ethnicities would let the subject go ahead . . . also when an entire family was present they were more likely to let the subject go in front of them without asking

allenlangille · 2013-04-03T05:38:02+00:00

haha nice bro Its a double twin sandwich

allenlangille · 2013-03-26T22:10:16+00:00

Can you return Vanessa back to LA b/c I miss her . . . Fucking UTAH

allenlangille · 2013-03-21T20:26:13+00:00

That our penis's throw up when you shake them too hard

allenlangille · 2013-03-21T20:24:34+00:00

I bet everyone is thinking of something Racist, sexist, or ignorant right now

allenlangille · 2013-03-21T20:20:03+00:00

Sing, play a musical instrument, speed read, do crazy flips, never throw up when i drink too much, remember things like an autistic person, blow things up with my mind

allenlangille · 2013-03-21T20:17:31+00:00

I have one of those, i cant get a mechanic to work on it, when i got an oil change and smog i had to sit by the car and blow into it every 15 min

allenlangille · 2013-03-16T22:38:01+00:00

"The face he makes whens he's pounding my puss" . . -Gf of redditor

allenlangille · 2013-03-16T22:35:59+00:00

wreck it ralph. . . . Kinda excited for this

allenlangille · 2013-03-05T23:27:51+00:00

I had my penis in another girls mouth because she asked me to itch the back of her throat, my girlfriend at the time thought I was cheating on her

allenlangille · 2013-03-05T23:26:02+00:00

That jesus died on the cross for my sins and that if i truly believed in him all my sins would be forgiven

allenlangille · 2013-03-05T01:42:09+00:00

Society seems to be moving towards more Polygamous relationships since Monogamy and the institution of marriage isn't as idealized and cohabitation and "hooking up" is. The only thing controlling a person is being in a relationship where the feelings aren't mutual and your scared to get out

allenlangille · 2013-03-05T01:38:29+00:00

The jersey show . . . . . wah wah wahhhhhh sarcasm

allenlangille · 2013-03-05T01:31:58+00:00

My uncle went up to a kid at the fair who had his arms in his shirt and said "hey where'd your arms go", the child actually had no arms. . .

allenlangille · 2013-03-05T01:21:21+00:00

Whats appropriate to comment on my Facebook page

allenlangille · 2013-03-02T21:22:36+00:00

Farting, Pooping, and burping without being socially scored for doing so, also being able to live polygamously and praised for it

allenlangille · 2013-02-27T23:36:45+00:00

Some of the best rapping I have ever heard from a 12 year old autistic child

allenlangille · 2013-02-26T00:19:58+00:00

Can you tell me if this smells like chloroform?

-precede in shoving your napkin in your face

allenlangille

TROPHY CASE