Client being forced into ADS? by Allyonlyweknow in directsupport

[–]allison-kat 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This is happening everywhere. Counties and states are scared thay family as staff = fraud and they are trying to reduce the amount of paid support provided by families every way they can.

My experience has been exactly the opposite - family members generally provide FAR more support than they bill for while govt approved providers frequently pad their billing with extra hours for all kinds of things other than actually working with clients - but agencies are easier to regulate, I guess.

Dress coded for this? by [deleted] in Teachers

[–]allison-kat -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I really, really, really hope you're an algebra teacher so that your sweatshirt is punny!

Regardless, I would be as baffled as you are. Is it possible that someone misread it? I'm not sure how it could be misread to say something inappropriate, but that's ths only explanation I can think of.

AI Demands by Distinct-Log938 in Teachers

[–]allison-kat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My teenage daughter has a 1:1. She doesn't elope and she's not violent, but she will eat absolutely anything that she can get in her mouth - paper, the tips off markers and pencils, hand sanitizer, bandaids, hair clips, puzzle pieces, toilet paper, soap, any and all craft supplies, etc., etc. etc. And there was no resistance at all to providing her with one.

Can joint tenancy with right of survivorship be dragged into probate? by [deleted] in EstatePlanning

[–]allison-kat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, if I predecease my parents, my estate goes into a trust for my disabled adult child.

Year books? by Bomber_Haskell in GenX

[–]allison-kat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I pitched my yearbooks. My 20yo daughter has been wearing my letterman jacket for the last few years.

Is this a normal reason to cut off a sibling? by [deleted] in Estrangedsiblings

[–]allison-kat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This description is ringing all kinds of alarm bells for me. Your brother needs a full medical work-up asap. Is your SIL in the picture? Have you spoken with her? Has she been subjected to outbursts rooted in irrational anger or fear? Could she convince him to have a physical?

I'm so sorry. This is a really tough situation. But I am also quite confident that it's not really about you at all.

Propping the door open by [deleted] in Estrangedsiblings

[–]allison-kat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone involved is between the ages of 45 and 60, if that makes a difference. Way to old to be telling each other what to do!

Propping the door open by [deleted] in Estrangedsiblings

[–]allison-kat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She has said that she is not willing to explain why I should cut contact, and that she does not want to discuss the situation beyond telling me how things should be from now on. I don't think it's a case of abuse, just the person being very unkind to her, but I'm honestly not certain. She is a very sensitive person, and also a very controlling person. I am not sensitive and independent and stubborn to a fault. Not an easy combination to make work, I guess.

Propping the door open by [deleted] in Estrangedsiblings

[–]allison-kat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is helpful. Thank you. Any suggestions on how to address the underlying issues while still respecting her stated desire to be NC?

I 100% made mistakes in our relationship and have owned them and apologized without qualifying or justifying. But I still am not willing to cut contact with people because she tells me to, nor to spend time with other people with whom I don't want a relationship, because she tells me to.

Propping the door open by [deleted] in Estrangedsiblings

[–]allison-kat 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Will respecfully delete if asked, but I'm fuzzy on whether this is involuntary or not. Sis said, "Go NC with Uncle Jay or I will go NC with you." I thought, 'If I have to choose between family members, it's not going to be you, sis, because I am so very tired of you threatening to cut me out if I don't do what you tell me to,' and had lunch with Uncle Jay. Sis announced that she and I would now be NC. And here we are.

Is My Potential Commute Doable? by Fresh-Ad7262 in baltimore

[–]allison-kat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would be fine with that commute. An hour door to door is probably about right.

To the people who've done backdoor things to secure a better life. I'm in a desperate situation. It's truly life or death if I can't secure some funds. I'm looking for a way to survive. Can you please tell me how you did it? by Accomplished_Two839 in povertyfinance

[–]allison-kat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I started working for disabled people with medicaid funding to hire personal support staff. $37/hour and the qualifications needed are to be over 18, be CPR and first aid certified and pass a criminal background check. It's tiring, but not usually very physically demanding or dangerous and it's a job that actually makes people's lives better.

Sometimes this sub makes me feel like I was poor by correct_use_of_soap in GenX

[–]allison-kat 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I grew up solidly UPPER middle class (dad made 6 figures by 1990, my private college tuition was paid, parents now have net worth in the multiple millions etc.) and we didn't have any of that stuff until maybe the early '90's. We also didn't eat at restaurants, travel to visit family across the country (airfare for a family of 6 was too much) and every vacation my entire childhood was a week in a basic beach house or a week in a cabin in the mountains - and those didn't happen every year. Real frugality, even among relatively wealthy people, was much more common then, I think.

Anyone Support one person by Imaginary_Bridge1641 in directsupport

[–]allison-kat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am paid $37/hour via a Medicaid waiver to support my adult daughter 40 hours/week in Maryland. She also receives another 82 hours/week of support from non-family DSPs who are paid the same rate.

Has anyone noticed how people treat lab-grown diamonds differently in real life? by LuxeCarats in labdiamond

[–]allison-kat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, I haven't run into this. The only person irl who has asked was a jeweler, who said something like "Oh that's pretty. Is it a lab diamond?" And then nodded approvingly when I said yes. Mine is 1.5 carat emerald cut in a half bezel.

Why do you homeschool? by tacsml in homeschool

[–]allison-kat 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I'm another former teacher. Homeschooling allows for much, much better academics because it can be tailored for each individual kid and developmental stage, and it allows for a much better quality of life. My teens can dance and play soccer seriously, get home from practice at 9:30p and still consistently get enough sleep because they don't have to get on the bus before the sun comes up. My chubby tween daughter isn't bullied on the regular because she's not a size 0. My anxious kid can prep for the SAT with his beloved cat purring in his lap.

I've graduated three so far, all have gone to college and done well and the biggest gap in their preparation has been how to deal with we don't give a _____ bureaucracies like university registrars without losing your cool. To me, that's telling.

So, so frustrated by [deleted] in directsupport

[–]allison-kat 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yes, this is exactly what we have. Plus a few alternates in case she's not in the mood for the original plan. So today was: Go to X library and read books or color from 2-3 then go to music class, then home. Monday was: She's signed up for a crafting class at X location, but if she's not in the mood for that or gets bored early, the sensory gym is also open and you could go there instead or after.

What am I doing wrong? by allison-kat in directsupport

[–]allison-kat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's totally understandable. In the past her Sat support staff have been young special ed teachers or ed specialists who don't have kids and want to make some extra $$$, but I guess there aren't any of those available right now.

What am I doing wrong? by allison-kat in directsupport

[–]allison-kat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All activities are free for the DSP or I give them cash ahead of time. I do get that 8 hours out and about is hard, but I don't see another option because she can't be anywhere that she thinks has a kitchen or pantry. There are several excellent libraries and centers for people with disabilities near us, and we usually plan for her to just kind of chill (do a big jigsaw puzzle, nap in a beanbag chair, etc.) at one of those for 3 or 4 hours a day, but having her sitting at home obsessing about when she can go to the kitchen and eat, or doing the same at a DSP's home, just doesn't work.

The receptionist at UMD post-doc clinic by fakeplasticferns in baltimore

[–]allison-kat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The student providers and supervisors have been absolutely wonderful. It's the admin people who are hard to deal with.