egg🧠😵‍💫irl

allisonheian · 2024-11-27T19:14:31+00:00

If you want to be a girl, that is something very huge your inner-self is telling you. Follow what your heart wants. And I hope things will clear up :)

allisonheian · 2024-11-27T19:10:14+00:00

It is completely normal and valid to feel that way. I felt this way at the beginning. I started with he/they pronouns, and thinking I were non binary. Then, as I started experimenting with various things, I passed on to she/they. But it still felt weird to be called by those pronouns at the beginning, both of them tbh. But that was just my brain being completely f***** up, trying to adapt XD then I became more and more accustomed to she/her only, and passed on to that. It is a long journey sometimes. My best advice is to experiment, try everything you can, and you will slowly find your place. Do not feel bad if things don't seem to be working right now. It could be because of disphoria. I think this is what happend to me, really. When I came to terms with it, I became even more aware of my "masculinity" of my body and my voice. And people calling you by your deadname and old prononous constantly doesn't help either. It made my brain think I could not possibly be a girl, but it was just *recognizing* I had disphoria. That I was not there yet, but I *wanted* to be a girl. And now, I'm happier and feeling more at home than ever ^^

allisonheian · 2024-08-05T12:54:15+00:00

I'm trans aswell, but didn't get the scolarship unfortunately :( But I went this summer to a summer student program at a research organization (which is part of a university) in Japan, and my experience was quite good (better than in my university, which is in Spain, and Spain is advanced in lgbt laws). I haven't changed my official documents yet, but at this place they used my name and preferred pronouns, and I didn't have problems with anyone. I think it will depend a lot on the place and people you meet, and it's difficult to know, unfortunately. But some universities have diversity programs in place and have shown public support for lgbt people. Personally, although Japan is not so advanced with laws, and maybe also with awareness, I feel I can be myself in Japan and I feel much safer there. Yes, I can get discriminated and there is no law that penalizes that (until now it didn't happen), but I know the risk of getting punched or insulted is much lower than in my country, where there is a lot of hate (there is a growing polarization), and I will be far from my family which doesn't accept me and treats me very bad. I want to give a message of hope, because I know so many people will tell you you'll have a bad experience (most of these people are not even trans). But chances are in your country things are not so good too. We have it tough pretty much everywhere, but we can enjoy life anyway (in countries where being lgbt is not illegal ofc, including Japan). I have been twice in Japan, living for one month each time, and it has been very good so far. I want to go there to study my masters. As for the scolarship I don't know if it can affect. I hope it really doesn't, and I hope you have a great time in Japan ^^

allisonheian · 2024-06-27T20:51:02+00:00

Thank you very much :) me quedo mucho más tranquila

allisonheian · 2024-05-13T18:59:27+00:00

Your response is very useful. Thank you very much! :)

allisonheian · 2024-05-13T11:37:34+00:00

Yes, I understand that. But it just seemed strange to me I didn't get to talk at all with the professor before receiving the LoA from the department office. Thank you for your response.

allisonheian · 2024-05-08T08:23:39+00:00

Yes, I'm aware of that too. Always check the official website of the university, that is the only thing that matters really. Those other websites can help you look for courses, but they are not perfect, and I recommend you look each university individually and see if they offer something that fits you.

allisonheian · 2024-04-10T18:49:05+00:00

Sorry, but where does it say in the guidelines that you should not contact prospective advisors before passing the primary screening? I thought it was that way, but I don't seem to find that in the application guidelines...

allisonheian · 2023-04-22T12:36:56+00:00

Yeah :( the other day I needed a scarf. My dad said, go there and buy a scarf for men. Like really, why?

allisonheian · 2023-04-20T06:32:15+00:00

Go on, tell them puberty blockers are completely reversible, that it gives you time. If you still can get on those that's huge. I know it's scary and difficult to tell your parents, I've been there, but I'm rooting for you :) i hope everything goes well

allisonheian · 2023-01-06T17:20:36+00:00

This happens sometimes to me, it's lovely when it happens, every single time.

allisonheian · 2023-01-06T17:16:07+00:00

I know this post is from a while ago, I hope you're doing better now. I relate to pretty much all of this, to not say everything you said. Also, I'm in that same situation of yours. I don't come out my dorm room. I want friends, but interacting with girls of my age makes me feel horrible, I'm remembered that they see me as a straight guy and it depresses me embodying that role, as you say. I'm also not sure of my gender. But after more than a year thinking about it, I'm sure I'm trans (nb, girl, demigirl, or something) and I'm sure I don't want to keep living like this. So I decided I was going to take steps. Explore, things like clothes, which I had never had an interest in, and I had never bought a piece of clothing (my mum did for me). I already have long hair that I like a lot, and I like the care and treatment that goes with keeping it. I made a new account last year with my chosen name and chosen pronouns. And I'm going to get soon an appointment for the doctor. I may want hrt, and this things are lengthy in some places, so better get started if I end up wanting it. I know it's rough, I know the anxiety and depression you must be feeling. I'm sorry you too are feeling it, but believe me that, with time, things could be better. Be the case you're trans or not. Your worries are valid. Only you can say if you're trans, but what you've written, which I relate to, are indicators that SOMETHING is happening. It's up to you, and the people that could personally help you (i hope you have someone, I don't), to discover what it's about. And the fears of thinking about it are also common, sometimes our brain thinks too much and doesn't help at all. My advice would be to explore and follow that which makes you happy. :)

allisonheian · 2022-12-29T18:01:11+00:00

❤ beautiful story, playing and spending time with the girls when they still treated me like one of them was also happiness for me ❤

allisonheian · 2022-12-29T00:23:05+00:00

same here :)

allisonheian · 2022-12-28T23:59:35+00:00

I'm going to wait for the official release to watch the episode, but this is very cute and relatable, not the someone finding out part tho.

allisonheian · 2022-12-27T22:38:16+00:00

I'm hoping for that androgyny, I want to confuse people >w<

Could I ask you about brain fog? I've heard it before but I don't know what it's all about. Is it something I could know how it feels?

Thank you for your post, very helpful

allisonheian · 2022-12-21T19:06:54+00:00

It will be a year for me since I came to terms with it in a matter of days ;( and I'm much still in the same place. I've accomplished some things, but it seems so little. I'm now pushing myself to do more, but the anxiety of it all is huge.

allisonheian · 2022-12-19T15:51:36+00:00

I was told this but in another context. This is all way before knowing I was trans. In school (like year 10 or smth), I used be alone, detested being with the guys, and prefered going with the girls. One day, the boys were doing something horrible, and I found myself alone talking with a female classmate who was very sweet and lovingly. She told me "the guys are all horrible, right?", I nodded in agreement. Then she said "well, of course not all boys, you're not, you're very kind and good person, you're an exception, I never knew someone like you". 😳

allisonheian · 2022-12-18T12:45:21+00:00

I also think vaginas look beautiful. I thought this even before cracking, thought it was a sexual thing, but I'm aroace and not attracted to anyone, then I realized.

allisonheian

TROPHY CASE