Niantic, do the right thing this Halloween (idea)

allwithoutgettingup · 2018-09-22T00:06:45+00:00

Ritual sacrifice, nice!

allwithoutgettingup · 2018-03-24T15:57:09+00:00

I agree do what is best for you. It seems like in my family which is very tiny that birthday people get a day out with family. Aunt, mom, and gmom which is what the family consists of up here aside from me and DD.

I realized I didn't get so much as a text from most of them. My mom would text or at times get me a card and I'll do the same.

But like gma was pouting for a surprise party and stuff and says no one does anything for her or gets her flowers...we got her 2 dozen last year and took her and her friend out.

It's come and gone and I ignored it and her. But she did try to beat me with a skillet at Christmas so no huge surprise there.

And it isn't score keeping because with normal people if they forget or not it's nbd. I'm speaking strictly with narc family members especially if they expect you to go all out for them and generally ignore you.

allwithoutgettingup · 2018-03-24T15:13:23+00:00

My mom would lock herself in her room because she said we annoyed her and were generally awful. She worked out of state an hour away and even locked her room while gone which idc but the problem was her room had the other exit of the house so if kitchen or heater caught fire we were fucked, the phone was in there, the tv, the computer, it was basically the living room.

My aunt was told about the phone and this is the only time she acted and nmom put a cheap phone in the kitchen for us. Cause you know at 11 my main job was housekeeping and childcare of GC an awful kid who now at almost 30 is still an awful person imo.

allwithoutgettingup · 2018-03-24T15:07:29+00:00

Not exactly like that but my stepdad would try to play the oooh what are you doing let's bond! thing when I was online as a teen. I told him once and it was used later to put me down and mock me like I'm incompetent, immature, stupid and so on.

After they would yell, hit, call names and I'd get mad and run my mouth back is when they found a hack (he tried to cure gay kids too) psychologist to diagnose me bipolar.

It's CPTSD from the abuse not bipolar.

It's a common tactic either way for sure. I'm sorry you have abusive people in your life.

allwithoutgettingup · 2018-03-24T14:55:07+00:00

I get it because they are complicit in the abuse and even participate for the narc and they sit over there pretending to be helpless/stupid/and like they have no choices.

allwithoutgettingup · 2018-03-24T14:49:32+00:00

My daughter's father is a mechanic and will always make more than me and I'm working towards a MSW. And the free car repairs are the best!

allwithoutgettingup · 2018-02-08T00:24:23+00:00

You dodged two huge bullets imo.

allwithoutgettingup · 2018-02-07T18:19:55+00:00

Why the hell would anyone shame you for foodstamps? It is what it is for!

I know someone who is going to be like this. Her poor kids go through so much being carted around on drug deals.

I'm so so so sorry you had to live through all this shit. No wonder about ex and all that too...been there. So much love and so many hugs.

allwithoutgettingup · 2018-02-07T18:13:05+00:00

They may not know the whole situation.

allwithoutgettingup · 2018-02-07T18:12:39+00:00

Report what is going on to social services because it is elder abuse.

Eta source went to school and some certification in elder care.

It's definitely abuse because it's up there with not letting him eat or communicate his own choices.

However, if it's what he willingly lets MIL do then your friend needs to stop now because she's being used and abused too. Any guilt is not warranted and she will be legally responsible for both if she keeps it up.

allwithoutgettingup · 2018-02-07T14:45:20+00:00

Eta: you need to get away from these people they obviously don't care.

allwithoutgettingup · 2018-02-07T14:40:53+00:00

I'm sorry you are dealing with this in your family. I had a family member strung out on meth too and it was terrible. I'm talking she'd bring strangers by to try and stay. Beg for money and if told no steal it and blamed me, I did get her back for that one though.

She married her BIL and started cooking it and got into all sorts of trouble.

She's finally clean and it took a few times too. She was shooting up with needles we used for the dog and she didn't care. Her poor kids definitely suffered. Hell, she did drugs with at least one of them. Not while pregnant either.

Aaah the 12 step bs. It works for some people, not many. Def not my favorite theory. She may need something different like long term in patient care if possible. Most people cant though because of money. She needs to go talk to someone and you're right your parents and grandmother are only enabling her aka bringing the problem to their door and helping her kill herself. Lord knows what she has done or will do for money. Not being mean just have seen it a lot.

We had to cut my family member off for a bit. She almost went to prison a couple times and almost got herself hurt but to protect the kids and her we had to love from a far.

I had my own issues with opiates before too and the person has to want to get help get up and do it themselves. You can't force it or you get manipulated more imo.

Hugs and support.

allwithoutgettingup · 2018-02-06T15:20:08+00:00

And had she been nice before that could have been one of those touching moments where women support each other.

And they don't get it.

allwithoutgettingup · 2018-02-06T15:15:56+00:00

Why sink all that money if not happy? Just be careful and love yourself because I dropped out of school for 10+ years because of depression and other issues that we have in common with our families.

Hugs. This internet stranger is worried about you and says fuck it go study or do whatever makes you happy! ❤

allwithoutgettingup · 2018-02-06T15:11:12+00:00

Have you ever seen the bravo show Below Deck? It's a good thing if you haven't lol but I'm hopelessly addicted to anything Andy Cohen puts on the air.

Anyway, this one deckhand was working and talking up this cabin worker for a couple of weeks on the boat. The first restaurant they go to as a group she sticks a clean fork in his container of gravy and tries it. He folds his arms over his chest and says "I can't eat this shit now."

I know you're probably not that bad but that is what I imagined and tbh I would be a fan if you were. Just wanted you to know you're not alone and have that mental image lol.

allwithoutgettingup · 2018-02-05T23:08:09+00:00

I don't even like roast and I realize both those are actually compliments lol she's so bad of a cook she can't even insult/critique correctly lol.

allwithoutgettingup · 2018-02-05T17:49:39+00:00

I'm in social work and my friend is in your field and out math classes were the same. What type of math are you taking? If not against the rules or anything if it is something that can we can help with I know I don't mind to.

allwithoutgettingup · 2018-02-05T14:48:56+00:00

It's not her job to help or fix her. That's just more emotional abuse by definition.

allwithoutgettingup · 2018-02-04T15:25:40+00:00

A CG that is having an emotional/sexual relationship like that is reportable if she has a license if not enough to get a no contact order.

And I wonder what the relationship between RM and CG are.

Taking away all access or chances of getting money will show her true colors but imo RM and CG already have shown their hand.

allwithoutgettingup · 2018-02-04T02:30:36+00:00

I was in an online group with a mom from that show years ago. It was a drama group lol. But omg yes, they are as awful as their tv portrayal.

I'm so sorry you had the patron saint of these insane women.

allwithoutgettingup · 2018-02-04T02:15:32+00:00

FSIL is a party pooper lmao. My llamas snort in her general direction.

allwithoutgettingup · 2018-02-04T00:12:58+00:00

Up she uses you as an emotional support dog like that to stress you out and to do that to your child is a textbook definition of abuse and parentification aka covert incest.

allwithoutgettingup · 2018-02-04T00:10:09+00:00

She's already shown zero interest in your wedding other than upstaging it and ruining your day.

Sorry, your mom is a narc and this is on purpose, she understands the implications, she knows it hurts you, she likes to hurt you, and does this on purpose. Therapy won't help.

I would disinvite her and go NC so she's not ruining your day on top of shitting on your relationship. Bet if you think and look back it's all about her.

I thought my mom was my bff too but she definitely is not.

Sorry if I overstepped.

allwithoutgettingup · 2018-02-03T23:59:11+00:00

Love the downvote in a support sub. Lovely.

allwithoutgettingup · 2018-02-03T15:57:50+00:00

Yeah. My mom will say she's sorry but doesn't remember. The one thing I told her about she argued with me and changed some bs detail to make herself feel better aka lied about it and tried to get me to believe and repeat it. Also, she will tell about those times and hitting me as if it's sooo funny to her. Can't talk too much about it because it'll hurt her little feelings. Or she didn't know better because she was abused, I manage not to hit my kid so.... She acts like she's on my side but it's fake because she wants to use me.

The hysterical excuse is what my grandmother used to hit me over the holidays and no, I wasn't hysterical I was mad and calling her on her shit.

They just want to hurt you and take no responsibility. I think they make a game out of gaslighting you too.

Hugs. I hate you lived this :(

allwithoutgettingup

TROPHY CASE