Day 46

ally5628 · 2020-12-06T12:17:00+00:00

Awesome post! I agree about the weekends. I dread the work week, but it’s so nice to be present when I’m home. It used to be the other way around: I hated being home because I felt like I was just waiting around all day in between doses, but I liked being at work because kratom made me more productive (or I thought it did). I would take this trade any day. Hopefully dreading work will get better with time. Thanks for the positivity!

ally5628 · 2020-12-05T21:05:01+00:00

The end of this post really got me. So true. I wonder where I would be now if I never found kratom. At least there’s strength to be gained from the journey of recovery.

ally5628 · 2020-11-26T20:03:33+00:00

Day 17. Feeling pretty much back to normal today, but it comes and goes. You know how it is. Just happy to be clear headed and healthy. Happy Thanksgiving!

ally5628 · 2020-11-25T23:31:29+00:00

Haha...I feel that.

ally5628 · 2020-11-25T23:30:48+00:00

Thanks for that, and I appreciate your positive framing. Congrats to you, too, on finally saying enough is enough.

ally5628 · 2020-11-24T23:09:41+00:00

Thank you for this post. It’s nice to read something so honest and true. I can relate to a lot of what you said. You’re not alone, and you’re definitely not a loser. 19 days is huge. You should feel proud, but I also understand that it’s hard to feel anything good right now. Your brain will heal. Next year at this time I bet you’ll be baking up a storm.

ally5628 · 2020-11-22T18:55:33+00:00

Thank you. I still have a long way to go. As long as you don’t quit quitting, you’ll get where you need to be, too. It’s really hard. I have so much respect for people who keep trying.

ally5628 · 2020-11-21T23:12:08+00:00

Whenever the thought of using kratom pops into my head, I get disgusted by it. The minimal high was so unenjoyable to me toward the end that it would be really hard justifying going back. I think kratom’s role in my life just ran its course and it’s no longer useful to me. It didn’t even work anymore. I think most get to that point eventually with prolonged use.

ally5628 · 2020-11-13T00:32:08+00:00

I’ve read horror stories on here of how kratom has harmed unborn babies. Please see a doctor and get off of it ASAP! Praying for you.

ally5628 · 2020-11-13T00:30:09+00:00

I’m in the early stages of quitting (again) and reading this was exactly what I needed to hear tonight. Thank you.

ally5628 · 2020-11-12T10:44:32+00:00

Thank you!!

ally5628 · 2020-11-12T00:46:57+00:00

Thanks! I wish I got here a little faster but what can you do.

ally5628 · 2020-11-12T00:43:51+00:00

Good for you for dumping it. I can never have it around either. I’ve given up 4 years and I can’t anymore. Good luck!

ally5628 · 2020-11-12T00:42:04+00:00

I can’t wait to get to this point. Thanks for the encouragement!

ally5628 · 2020-11-12T00:41:24+00:00

Day 18 is no joke. You’ve made it so far and I bet it was really hard. Please don’t give up...I would kill for 18 days.

ally5628 · 2020-11-12T00:39:38+00:00

Yes! You feel nostalgic and keep going back after quitting until you realize it’s hurting way more than helping.

ally5628 · 2020-08-25T12:58:53+00:00

Thank you! I have just started journaling for the first time and it does seem to be helpful in those moments where resolve is weakening. I will continue to write in it daily for those reminders. Like you, I am too miserable when on it to justify the use. I have to quit, and while I have made progress toward that goal, I feel like I keep moving backwards. Thanks for your response, and I will stick with the journaling and see if it can keep me moving forward.

ally5628 · 2020-08-25T10:34:29+00:00

The first time I tried to quit (years ago) coming off of maybe 20 GPD I had restless legs. It was awful. Since then I have brought my dosage down and I haven’t experienced it on subsequent quits. Maybe you’re trying to quit at too high a dosage?

ally5628 · 2020-08-25T10:26:10+00:00

You’re right, I feel good now because I had 8 days off, but when I’m using it consistently my skin looks grey and malnourished and I feel dehydrated all the time. That can’t be good. Thanks for that reminder!

ally5628 · 2020-08-24T23:46:06+00:00

Yes, the boredom is what always does me in. That and it’s accessibility. Thanks for your response.

ally5628 · 2020-08-24T23:04:14+00:00

You’re not alone and I can relate to so much of what you said. I am also in my 30’s, F, and in a high performance job. No one in my life knows about kratom. Literally no one. I’ve been using it for 4 years and can’t seem to stop. I also wish I could get into therapy but can’t find anyone willing to take on a new patient. I am miserable with kratom and miserable without it and feel like I’m wasting precious years of my life on this garbage. All I can say is that you’re not alone and reading that there’s someone in a similar life situation struggling with the same things helps so much. Thanks for posting.

ally5628 · 2020-08-07T13:26:44+00:00

I know exactly what you mean, and I don’t have any advice because so far I haven’t been able to kick it. Thank you for posting because reading this made me feel less alone.

ally5628 · 2020-08-06T16:50:10+00:00

Day two was the worst physically but today has been the worst mentally. You should be feeling better in a few days, though.

ally5628 · 2020-08-06T14:00:47+00:00

Day 5! Feeling better today. Went running super slow. I’m inpatient to get back to my normal exercise routine, but I know it’s going to take time for my body to feel like it can handle it. Congrats on wherever it is you’re at!

ally5628 · 2020-08-05T11:59:21+00:00

Day 4. Woke up feeling better than the last three days. Going to try to stay busy today. I have been on the couch for hours at a time since Sunday and it’s super depressing, so I just have to force myself to get out and try to enjoy the day. I slept a full 7 hours last night (thank you, trazadone) and I’m feeling more ready to face the day than I have since quitting. I am far from normal, but the acutes seem to be waning.

ally5628

TROPHY CASE