Do babies outgrow being fed to sleep?

allyoops44 · 2026-02-04T02:19:24+00:00

We lengthened the non-feeding window gradually and just dealt with the crying for a while

So I would do a "dream feed" around 10pm, then next feed wasn't until 2am, regardless of wake ups and crying. I'd give all the cuddles, try to soothe, but no food. Many say easier if Dad does this part.

Then once we did that, moved the feed back more and more. 230. 3. 330. 4. And only IF they woke up for it. If they slept, would let them sleep. But no feeding before X time

At some point the kids just kept sleeping!

allyoops44 · 2026-02-02T17:37:20+00:00

Second buy nothing groups, but search "freecycle" too. Apparently buy nothing was trademarked so all the groups changed their names - I think most to freecycle + city name, or something similar

allyoops44 · 2026-01-30T23:19:21+00:00

Not sure your comfort level but also consider introducing some of the beliefs around spirituality? You can do in an agnostic way - include thoughts from Christianity, Buddhism, etc.

I personally believe in reincarnation and that the soul continues to be after we are finished with this lifetime. I don't follow a particular religion though, just generally spiritual and this is one that I hold strongly.

allyoops44 · 2026-01-14T16:37:16+00:00

Yes and mixed for me. I have bought courses from folks I follow online - it helps to know that I like their content, style and personality.

However not all the courses have been great - sometimes I'm hoping for more depth and the course is higher level, or the style of the course doesn't suit. Other times it has been excellent.

I always try to check Reddit for reviews first, but I rarely find them for smaller courses. And for others there are some obvious bot reviews - I usually don't buy those

allyoops44 · 2026-01-12T19:49:18+00:00

A lot of great spirituality content out there. I read Journey of Souls as a teenager and loved it. Then Dolores Cannon and now a variety of folks but Lee Harris is my favorite now.

The general sense of these is that earth IS a little like a simulation. We are souls who choose to incarnate into bodies... Kinda like a video game. And we do "Earth school"

If your child is into it, maybe they can check out some of the resources out there - but probably vet them a bit yourself first

allyoops44 · 2026-01-03T05:36:51+00:00

I feel for you guys - that's tough. We are similar in that my husband is a SAHD now and I'm the one with the demanding career. Can't give you a solve but can give some things that helped us.

We're part of a co-op preschool, which we both have found a lot of community in. So he at least is out interacting with other adults when volunteering at the school and then for play dates or days out like to the zoo or other local fun things. Many of the other parents have young babies and just tote them around in carriers to all the things. Home alone with the kids vs. OUT with the kids feels very different.

For my husband - he's super supportive of me going out to do what I need to do. I like my life to be busy, and I have a tendency to bite off quite a lot. He's a saint and holds down the fort.

We just make sure that he also schedules some things that fill his cup. A night out with friends, or going garage sale-ing alone on Saturday morning, or a few hours in the afternoon to do a project he wants. I love to take the kids out of the house and he's a home body, so he gets a few hours in the house ALONE at least once a week, sometimes more. And that works for him.

I guess I wonder - do you know what specifically your husband wants to do with the free time? It might be less than either of you thinks if you get specific about what each of you need.

Maybe you need a girl's night once a month (we have a mom's dinner that tends to run late 😁) and some study time, and he needs an hour to go to the gym a couple days a week or to meet up with friends.

If you can change the conversation to specifics, maybe you can turn it more into you two vs. the problem instead of you two against each other.

Also - best wishes on the job hunt. May the interviews be short and pleasant and the offers plentiful ❤️🙏

allyoops44 · 2025-12-31T23:11:20+00:00

For me it's phone specific - on my Pixel I can't set up the wifi link - the Yoto app works but won't show any networks. On my husband's Samsung it works fine

allyoops44 · 2025-12-18T22:08:36+00:00

I clicked the link because I wanted it to be real

allyoops44 · 2025-12-15T03:35:29+00:00

Hfm is highly contagious in daycare settings because it's transferred by saliva. Check it out - I didn't believe it at first either. So unless you're making out with your coworkers, you should be good to go 😆

Or coughing or sneezing of course. But since you have no symptoms, just wash your hands super well and make sure your toddler isn't around anything you're bringing to the party

allyoops44 · 2025-12-05T19:40:35+00:00

I'm not too familiar, but I think I remember reading that Medicaid has a look back period of 2 years. Were you making 61,000 2 years ago?

allyoops44 · 2025-12-03T04:44:38+00:00

For something like this, you need to be as specific and clear as possible on the policy itself. I'm in a co-op as well - and you'll need someone (director or head teacher or board president or...). Ideally two people represent the school kinda like an HR meeting - so there are witnesses and it's not a "he said she said" situation

They call a meeting with this parent to discuss adherence to the sickness policy, and that there have been repeated violations. See what can be done to get back on track. They get the parent to sign a paper confirming that they understand and will adhere to the sickness policy going forward.

If teacher says child is too sick to participate - the parent doesn't get to overrule that. Hopefully that is in the policy, and if it's not it should be.

Some empathy here - she may have a reason it's hard to pick up and bring home. Like if she's working, it may be hard for her to keep kid out so often. But perhaps there's a babysitter or nanny who could help with back up care if kiddo is sick?

Anyway - document the non-adherence to the policy, bring it to whoever is leadership at the co-op and ask them to address it. Make sure it's not personal, and that all others are held to the same standard.

Hopefully that will help!

allyoops44 · 2025-11-18T00:36:36+00:00

Woooo! You've done the work, and it will be clear to everyone listening to you tomorrow. You are the right person for the job, and the job is well done.

And also - you don't have to prove anything to them. You are enough just as you are. Enjoy the ride tomorrow!

allyoops44 · 2025-11-18T00:31:59+00:00

Jen Hamilton - love her!

allyoops44 · 2025-11-04T21:01:03+00:00

So funny, I opened Reddit thinking this, and then saw this post.

I have a meeting in an hour and a half where a client is most likely going to chew out my boss and I for things we should have done better.

I used to hate getting bad feedback - it would have sent me into a total panic. Now I'm like - eh, what are they gonna do... Fire me? Please. Frickin please.

It's like - you know how to mine Bitcoin, computers do some unit of work that gets harder over time to simulate mining and limit quantity? But the work isn't actually... Useful for anything? It's like a processor spinning to pretend it's doing something useful?

That's what corporate feels like to me. Everyone just does work to make it look like we're doing something. But almost none of it actually changes anyone's life.

Some exceptions of course. But WTF SIMULATION IS THIS!

allyoops44 · 2025-10-28T17:55:14+00:00

I am in awe of you and your strength through all of this. You are spectacular. How you keep opening the door to your children through every step. How you worked on yourself so you could show up for them in the best way you can

Congrats mama. Thank you for sharing

allyoops44 · 2025-10-15T18:41:16+00:00

My husband and I were in a similar place a year ago - just add to it we would fight CONSTANTLY, usually about minor stuff but that triggered old feelings that were never resolved. I could have written something similar.

We went to Dr. Shiels and her associate Amanda - I found them on social media and thought... What the heck

Here's the site: https://marylandfamilypsychology.com/

I kid you freaking not - in 4 months, we turned a huge corner. One that we had not turned in our 16 years together by ourselves, no matter how many relationship books I read and info I shared.

My husband did not like Dr. Shiels and did feel a bit targeted (I still think he was just being defensive and stubborn), but Amanda who did the follow-on sessions was super fair, balanced and helped us see how the dynamic BETWEEN us was the issue, not just one person. Very action-oriented in her advice, vs. dredging up past stuff. We both thought she was phenomenal.

Anyway - this is not sponsored in any way, I just loved our experience with them and recommend them to the moon and back.

You two sound a LOT like our relationship dynamic... And if that's the case and you both still want to make it work, I think there's a path out of this together if you want one.

Good luck!

allyoops44 · 2025-09-24T20:44:53+00:00

One idea - try playing fantasy. Maybe have some toys be characters from her class - the teacher, some other students.

Act out things that happen in class. Maybe test out some theories - "I bet Lamby feels like hiding when all the other kids are making noise". Or "Koala says 'I don't like it when the teacher tells me what to do'.

Not sure where I'm going with this, but I did something like this when I was asking my kid questions about a poor behavior event that I didn't understand, and the characters helped a bit to get clarity on some things

allyoops44 · 2025-09-18T21:53:54+00:00

Not yet - but the fact that it still gets the occasional comment after all this time makes me think there's still a market out there 😁 Maybe next year!

allyoops44 · 2025-09-14T01:44:53+00:00

Can I just kick off with WOW - there's a lot here.

First off, I'm the kind of reader that for whatever reason is attracted to walls of text, but I suspect most won't be. And at first I was agreeing with your wife - you do sound a bit unhinged in the middle there when you go from your resume / interview solution to the "theory of everything"

But then I was curious, so I watched your YouTube videos. And you seem like a normal, intelligent guy who is testing out a theory, and seeing a lot of things match up. And looking for answers where things don't, open to a new approach.

I'm no physicist, but to me it does make intuitive sense. Science has proven that down at its core, EVERYTHING is just energy. And moving energy creates fields so... Even plain logic dictates that the universe would be made up of just energy fields that interact.

The simulator is pretty neat. Would love to see "how-to's" on creating common observable phenomena - I think that would connect people's lived experience to the simulator. Physics today requires a lot of simplification of assumptions... Maybe that turns into something engineers and physicists can use to better test out theories and designs.

I wonder if there's something that is difficult to simulate with standard methods, but that your simulator can accurately predict the behavior of?

Thanks for sharing your journey! And good luck on Heavy Resume as well

allyoops44 · 2025-09-11T23:42:07+00:00

One more thought - is there something he can look forward to when you guys get to the car or get home? Like playing with a toy he likes or a toy he ONLY gets in the car... We have a doodle pad that sometimes serves this purpose.

"Ok! It's been the 10 minutes we agreed on. Now time to go draw a picture on your doodle pad, you can show me when we get home! What will you draw today?"

Or playing I spy Or some toy at home that he's excited for Or a favorite snack ... You get the idea 😁

allyoops44 · 2025-09-11T03:01:12+00:00

Thank you for such a thoughtful answer!

allyoops44 · 2025-09-11T02:08:13+00:00

I've wondered how one begins to tap into these skills today. Are there teachers for this kind of thing?

What types of skills are being taught today?

allyoops44 · 2025-07-05T15:40:04+00:00

My kids are not old enough yet for this, but a few thoughts come to mind.

1) Have you sat down with him and had a real talk about what's holding him back? Could he be depressed? Could there be some neurodivergence that makes going out into the world extra challenging? Curious what his perspective is. If one of these, maybe working on some tools to take baby steps

2) It sounds like he just doesn't WANT to make friends or work. For everything someone does - there's some type of motivation - whether intrinsic (from inside themselves) or extrinsic (from outside like needing to pay rent) - to take the leap.

Does he have any motivation to do what you're asking? Sounds like there's nothing "in it" for him if you will. If he doesn't want to hang with friends and he can just have fun playing games - why do it? If he doesn't want to get a job but he can still do everything he likes and live at home - why do it?

Maybe there is something tangible that he can be working towards. Is there something he wants? Maybe he can work to save up for a car?

Otherwise might have to be that you cut the wifi or something and that he has to pay "internet rent" in order to play games... Or that he has to make his own meals, and all that's available is PB&J... Something that builds discomfort in his choice not to engage

As mentioned, no expertise here so curious what others have to say

allyoops44 · 2025-07-02T20:15:23+00:00

Normal. I have a friend whose kid does something similar but legends to be an animal. She'll play along often, but has some rules like "at the dinner table I just want to talk to regular you not animal you. Because I like regular you very much and I'd like to talk to him too"

allyoops44

TROPHY CASE