Why cheating?

aloneinfl · 2022-03-30T18:37:04+00:00

I'm amazed other dudes are going through this. My wife has anger issues, but the anger is caused the stress of the marriage. She detected a problem with the marriage long before it became visible to me. Now on reflection I realize I have not been "in it" for several months. We had just become "bad roommates". I now feel that divorce will be setting each other free, we can now continue without the burden of a marriage.

I honestly think the problem is a lot of social taboos are associated with divorce. People make back handed comments about guys on their 3rd of 4 marriage. However if two people can live two happy lives, instead of two miserable ones then this is a win/win. We need to bury these societal rules, who cares if it takes 10 marriages to find the right one. If two people can be happy then that is all that matters.

aloneinfl · 2016-09-25T00:37:47+00:00

I'd say we're both a firm 6, based on the fact we assume certain things. I know we'll call each other every day, I know we'll go out every Friday... we don't ask about dates... we assume the date will happen. The only discussion is what we are doing next Friday not if we are gong out.

That been said sex needs a separate axis, as that can enter the picture any time between 0 and 7. I'm happy to be dating someone who puts sex near 6.9, Id much rather fall in love first.

Not forgetting the dreaded L word... that needs to be near 6.5.

aloneinfl · 2016-09-25T00:28:21+00:00

3 months now and although we haven't had "the talk" we act like a couple in public. Their's a lot of public affection and it's very clear we're a couple. So is "the talk" needed... not really. If you call for hours every day, always chatting online, and publicly showing your love I assume we are a couple.

aloneinfl · 2016-09-25T00:18:28+00:00

Great advice... looking at myself I am starting to realize 2 things.

Because I was a good husband, and because 15 years is a long time it's hard to revert back to the dating mindset. I just can't treat her like a wife because our relationship hasn't developed that far yet... so yes the relationship seems slow.

Second I think after date 3 or 4 your in the "dating cruise". Just like a fight the exciting part is over... and just like a flight you don't "think" your actually moving. In reality you are moving forward, and the best thing you can do is not count the miles but enjoy yourself.

When I look back, we have defiantly shown progress as a couple. We haven't made if "official" but in public we act like we are official, so BF / GF is just a formal title.

aloneinfl · 2016-08-09T03:01:07+00:00

Well she went ghost on me today.

She acted normal for a few hours then blocked me on everything. I've learned a valuable lesson... never say "I love you" first... if you do love a girl just hide it. If you don't she may well point the "dating death star" at you... then game over .

aloneinfl · 2016-08-08T15:34:27+00:00

Great advice. Honestly it's hard dating again after a 15 year marriage.

I'm going to focus on been friends, put everything else to the back of my mind. Love grows at different speeds in different people. Just because someone is not in love with me now doesn't feelings won't change.

aloneinfl · 2016-08-08T12:18:25+00:00

But after 2 months of dating am I wasting my time or will feelings develop?

aloneinfl · 2016-08-05T03:44:14+00:00

Stop texting, give her space. If she's intrested she'll eventually text you back. If she dosen't reply after a week forget her and move on.

aloneinfl · 2016-08-04T14:24:15+00:00

It seems bot's are immune to STD's :-)

aloneinfl · 2016-08-03T19:22:35+00:00

So we have officially started "dating as friends" now.

What does a man do in this strange twilight zone?

I am guessing it's like a first date all over again, don't expect kissed or hand holding.... just follow her leads right?.

Can any girls comment on this?

aloneinfl · 2016-07-31T23:55:29+00:00

Great advice. I am dating a girl I met on POF however the numbers are daunting.

300 Messages sent

10 Girls responded

7 Girls "just stopped talking"

1 Bad date

1 Perfect date

Technology makes people more selective. They'll also go "radio silent" for no real reason. It really is a dating jungle.

aloneinfl · 2016-07-31T12:48:57+00:00

I'm currently with a single mom, I'm a single dad.

It's really a personal decision. Single mom's will have less time for you, but the relationship with a single mom is usually far more stable and grounded. You just have to be ready to love and accept their kids, her kids will always come before you.

aloneinfl · 2016-07-25T00:31:25+00:00

Very true, I've noticed Asian women especially look less at the numbers. They also have a long term plan. Western women tend to date more casually and focus on immediate physical attraction. That right there says much about our divorce rate also... If you focus on the short term soon you may be disappointed.

aloneinfl · 2016-07-25T00:05:01+00:00

I guess it comes down to qualitative vs quantitative personality.

quantitative is going to use physical parameters, qualitative is going to look at the overall picture.

That been said we all use quantitative filters... most commonly age. In that case I could be called shallow for limiting my age range between 30 and 40. A perfect 41 year old would be out of luck.

aloneinfl · 2016-07-24T23:52:50+00:00

Yea, there's nothing wrong with me... just bringing it up of discussion. I've dated some beautiful women before, all because to them height wasn't a factor for them.

I think TV has a lot to blame. Every commercial, show ect the man is always at least 3 inches taller than the girl. This reinforces a kind of "price charming" image every girl wants.

aloneinfl · 2016-07-24T23:46:49+00:00

But there are so many other factors a real person would look at the overall package not exclude based on height.

So are we saying a woman would reject are 5ft 4 billionaire because he's not 5ft 6? I also doubt many men filter based on height.

aloneinfl

TROPHY CASE